Three days of cycling to work and Ian’s hatred of cars and their drivers has returned. As a result I feel the need to balance things out by venting my completely rational hatred of mopeds. Which bright spark came up with the idea of a form of motorised transport for people who are too young or too crap to get a either full bike or car license? I’d like to know what part of the moped test tells them that weaving between rows of moving cars is a safe and normal practice. Why do their engines make that annoying buzzing sound? It sounds like the thing is powered by an aggravated bee and from their speed I think they might be. And finally, why don’t they just give up their stupid little suicycles and get the fucking bus until they can afford some grown-up transport.

Okay, I think I’m losing control of my anger. I feel a strong urge to buy an SUV and invade a country to get the oil required to run it. I think I should take a stress pill and lie down.