Daily archives: February 7, 2003

Straight Dope Staff Report: Did the U.S. plan an invasion of Canada in the 1920s?

War Plan Red was a US Army planning exercise for possible war with Britain. The first move would be to strike at Canada and cut the UK’s bridgehead on the continent. Right up until 1939 it was unthinkable for the US army to contemplate a war in Europe because of isolationism, though they did plan for a Pacific war.

Got Mail?

Less than half the UK is online, the missing made up of older and poorer people.

My parents are silver surfers, despite the appalling connection they have (which seems to be more because of the server they’re dialling than the fact that they’re in the middle of nowhere). I don’t know what they go looking for, though they do visit here occasionally because mum’ll phone me up and tell me off for posts by myself or members of the team, and I think they researched their new car online. It’s just so easy, with my e-mail and ADSL, Kazaa and daily cartoons to forget that some people don’t have, maybe even don’t want, the World Wide Information Highway Web.

But then, they can’t read this, so I feel safe in saying, ‘Stop being so silly people! You don’t need lives, you need broadband!’

Day of the Dead

Well today I have the pleasure of going to my old employers and picking up my last paycheque. Interestingly enough, due to the lost laptop fiasco, they will not be happy to see me. Oh well, what can I do?

I haven’t had much time to surf the net lately as life has been rather busy of late. Congratualations to the dark overlord for his ever increasing amount of hits on this, the greatest web site on earth. What can I say? His ego is already overinflating due to the success of the website and he mentioned something about building an evil hideout on an island somewhere in the South Pacific. I have found the perfect tool to complement his ever increasing demand to own the world – a spin generator! GW is using it already and it might help the allmighty Ian build public support!

www.strangereports.com has the perfect solution for annoying freinds, collegues and family. Whilst messing around with various people in your life, it might be a good idea to stop by www.another.com for the free use of thousands of email domain mailboxes. This will enable you to spam until your heart is content.

Last but not least, over at ebay the products keep getting better and better. I know all the geeks reading this site, me included, will splash out the necessary dough for one these. Never be let down again.

Oh by the way, did you notice that 10 of 18 pages in the report from Colin Powell were taken directly, err word for word, from a postgrad student? Sometimes, as in the movie Risky Business, you just gotta say ‘What the F*uck’.

See ya.

Got The Power?

It’s good to see The Gas is still as capable of incompetence as it was when I worked for it. Up to 50,000 customers have yet to receive bills, sometimes more than a year after signing up. To be fair, the supplier at my current address gave me the runaround. Several months after moving in I finally got to start paying for my electric, only to have them decide that someone else had moved in and cancel my account. Of course, I didn’t find out about this until they sent a bill for this mysterious new person.

I’m getting a windmill and solar cells, then I won’t have to depend on these fools.