Mid Day Crisis

I think I’m losing my grip on reality (whaddaya mean losing?). It’s a beautiful sunny day outside and yet…..
The fascists and warmongers really don’t like Robert Fisk. They have a whole inane ritual they call Fisking, which they also apply to anyone else they disagree with, where they take his on the spot and brutally honest reports and- from the safety of their home front bunkers- parrot the party line after every statement they’ve been told to disagree with. It used to be my ambition to be denounced by the Daily Mail, because then I’d know I was doing something right. The Internet age has allowed me to expand my horizons and I won’t be happy until I’ve been Fisked by the troglodytes at FreeRepublic. What I’m leading up to is that they’ll be all over this piece in today’s Independent where he describes the aftermath of the marketplace bombing. Read it. It’s horrific. Thankfully the civilian casualties are far lower than they would have been under the planned Shock and Awe blitzkrieg campaign, which was probably called off when they realised how much opposition there was to the whole adventure. Kudos to everyone who went on an Anti War rally before the campaign started and shame on me for not getting to one until too late.
At the behest of my credit card/ loan provider I did a health check on my finances yesterday. They’re pretty tubercular, but I’m formulating a way out of them. I’m going to adopt Bushonomics. First I have to buy a big ugly car that belches pollutants and does about ten feet to the gallon. Then I’ll stop feeding my pets, the little bastards have been living off my hard earned income for years now and they should learn to fend for themselves (note to PETA, I don’t actually have any pets, okay, this is allegory). I might be able to make a little money by getting my friends to pay me for stuff I steal from work for them, but likely I’ll find the SUV really bites into my bank account. There is a simple answer to this though. I’m going to start a hate campaign against someone living in a big house in Rochdale. I’ll say they have kiddie porn and that I think they were the Yorkshire Ripper’s secret accomplice. Then, because the Police won’t go along with my calls for an early morning raid and statutory beating, I’ll break into the house myself, piss in his fishtank and place ‘evidence’ in his cupboards. But, just to show I mean no ill will to the rest of his family, I’ll steal the home entertainment centre and fence the DVD player to cover the cost of replacing the broken window.
I did have a faith in human nature moment earlier. Looking out of my office window I noticed that my bike had fallen over and was hanging off the railing I’d locked it to. I was just about to go outside and stand it up again when I saw one of the security guards wander over and straighten it out for me.
The long weekend starts tomorrow, I’m getting broadband tomorrow evening and the weather isn’t going to break until Saturday or Sunday. I need to take some time out to chill and think about a new direction.


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