I was a member of the Labour party for a year, way back in the day. This would have been 1995 or ’96, before they were elected, when they seemed like our last best hope. I also thought it would be a way to meet cute, politicised women.

It all turned out to be a terrible disappointment. I did get a red rose lapel pin, an occasional newsletter and the chance to go to dull meetings with tea and those biscuits only grandmothers ever have. And I don’t think there were any women, cute, politicised or otherwise. The only reason left for remaining a member would have been so I could quit in disgust at a moment like this, but it seems even that would have amounted to nothing much.

Well.. I guess the americans were hoping Irwq would surrender without second thought. Just so we all get the record straight: YOU CANNOT LIBERATE PEOPLE THAT DO NOT WANT TO BE LIBERATED!

Whatever I do, I don’t want to post my first thoughts on every bit of war news. Weblogs are supposedly an unmoderated medium, but I’m taking the blue pen to my thoughts and conversations on operation Iraqi Flatten. Humour in this house runs quite close to pitch black at the moment, if I transcribed our conversations to the web I’d run the risk of death threats and mega flames from irony free warmongers (I’d just say Americans, but we have our share on this side of the Atlantic.) There are quite enough people wailing about every little thing, and many more with the time and bandwidth to give an overview of the news. What the world needs now is the occasional lightweight post- like baby pictures and hairy guts. When they start MOABing Baghdad I promise to get very drunk and wiffle on about my crushes again.

Having said which-

When I was in the newsagents I noticed the Daily Record’s front page, displaying a shot of a dead US serviceman above a story screaming about how evil the Iraqis are to show just such pictures. (Story here, with a small image of the front page. Contact the news editor here. Though they’re not the only ones.)

The bomb videos have come out. Considering so many sorties have been flown it’s always dubious that they have such a limited number of direct hits to show us.

I just had an hour and a half of war coverage. Today’s Coalition casualties seem to have all been caused by Americans, with a RAF plane downed by a Patriot and a marine going postal at 101st airborne’s camp. Flipping through the various channels- the same view from Umm Qasr on all of them; ITV News has the world’s campest war reporter; Fox commentators claimed that the British commander in the port was playing to the cameras, then immediately complained that they hadn’t seen shots of the explosions (they did seem to be making a big deal of the fact that the commander was British, probably don’t like criticising good old Yank colonels); the woman at the Pentagon briefing has the worst fashion sense imaginable (pink and khaki panelled jacket over a light blue turtle neck!) and we’re not entirely sure s/he isn’t a transvestite [if Ashcroft ever finds out he’ll have hir covered with a sheet].

One of the advantages of sharing the house with a woman is I can start reading Cosmopolitan again without having to go to a hairdressers. Of course, Daz now expects me to give him make-up tips and I did find myself mocking Shania Twain’s outfit when she appeared on Top of the Pops last night. (But really, a bra with a halter top? Oi, Twain, No!)

BBC1 has become the British Battle Channel, streaming News 24 coverage. Daz spotted it first, but Baghdad is still lit up even as it’s being bombed. In these days of GPS etc. a blackout wouldn’t be that effective, but somehow you’d expect a city under attack to turn off its street lights anyway.

The BBC warlog is on a different page every day, this is today’s.

�Do we have any information from the RADIF?�

�They say there are aeroplanes on a bearing of two- six- five.�

�How many?�

�A lot. They could not say more. The rockets have started landing.�

�Torpedoes will be little use against aircraft no matter how few or how many.� Karn commented.

�There must be some ships to follow that many aeroplanes. Try the spotter plane channels.�

The wing continued toward the approaching air fleet, on a pointless intercept. The Corkscrews flanked the plane, holding back until they knew what the plan was.

�Sir, I have the target ship. They have spotted a convoy of landing ships.�

�Can we get to them without having to go through the planes?�

There was a brief conference between the radio operator and navigator. �Two- three- Oh. Though that may take us through the edge of the air fleet.�

�We will need to be on the deck for the torpedoes anyway.� Karn pointed out.

�We will. Radio, tell the Corkscrews what we are planning. They can come with us or carry on.� Harren began banking and descending before the message was even sent. The Corkscrews followed at height to provide cover.

I’ve got a proposal. Let’s not buy bottled water, unless it’s French. Let’s not stock up on tinned food, but go out and buy fresh fruit and meat- organic if possible- from a local shop. Let’s get back to using duct Gaffer tape as it was intended, for the urban equivalent of a baler twine bodge. Simply, let’s ignore all these calls for us to be afraid.

I live with terror as it is. I’m scared of the actions of my fellow coutrymen, and occasionally women, because of the way they drive. It’s not a normal commute if no-one tries to kill me. But at least my fears have some grounding. Compared to the threats of everyday life, the statistical chance of you, me or anyone we know being harmed by terrorist action is infinitesimal. It was tiny before this war began and- even though this action to make us safer has had the opposite effect- it’s still tiny now.

And lose yourself somewhere. I recommend the goofy pages.

The BBC has its reporters (b)logging events in their various locations. I don’t know how censored these are, probably less attention will be paid to them than full length reports, but whether they are or not the snippets are interesting.

A history of Chemical and Biological Warfare

via GeekPress

Vandals in Austin, Texas attacked the home of a Frenchwoman. A “Whites Only” sign in the Dallas County Records Building will not be removed. Lawmakers propose a higher tax on French wine. Moon the judge, get an extra six months. A service to foster military pets whilst their owners are serving overseas.