Monthly archives: April 2003


Raiders of the Net Ark

It seems nothing is sacred, nothing can escape the reach of the Big Brother treatment.Believe it or not, The Ark, an internet reality gameshow, starts this Easter Sunday and guess what? It is due to run for 40 days and nights. It is the invention of a satirical religious website known as Ship of Fools, hoping to stimulate Christians into religious and moral debates.

The players will take on the role of a dozen biblical saints and sinners locked in the cyber-ark, who are only able to communicate via speech bubbles from the comfort of their home PCs. It has the similar Diary Room where the contestants can bare all, to a God Almighty (the Arks version of Big Brother) sitting in judgement. Surprising the Ark doesn’t have a prize of �70K but isn’t a complete loss with its �666 cash prize.

Instead of the usual week-long evictions period, rivals will be voted off every 4th day, nomited by their peers and elected to walk the plank by the audience. It is trying to aim to get people more aware of religion without preaching. Although the only worry is where this is going to end. I’m a Rabbi Get Me Out of Here! or Priest Idol could be next. People who know me, know I am an atheist, but I am not making a dig, this is just me being curious.


Or maybe Greed is Good?

I’m not sure how seriously I’m meant to take him, but a writer in the Times reckons that downshifters are the root of all economic evils. As I’ve still got the debt and the ulcer from my farcical upshift of 2001, I’m inclined to think he’s talking bollocks. Everyone should settle at the level that works best for them. If he wants to work himself into an early grave that’s fine by me, but I need time for cycling and enjoying myself.


Waste not…..

Thermal Depolymerisation will break down almost any carbon based waste into light crude, gas, minerals and distilled water with up to 85% efficiency. The first industrial plant is breaking down turkey offal that can no longer be rendered into BSE friendly animal feed.
The US government funded the scheme to the tune of $12 million, which sounds like a lot until you remember they just allocated $80 billion to the war. No matter what they may say, one of the aims of the invasion of Iraq was to better control the flow of oil that the US relies too heavily on. The world would be a better, safer place if they’d stay at home and invest in technology such as TD, fuel efficiency, solar energy etc. which would reduce this addiction.
via boingboing


Get your rocks off

A new alcopop for well almost everyone (Sorry Ian, who is violently allergic to vodka). Roxxoff is new alcoholic drink with aphrodisiac properties. Currently, their is a group of lobbyists trying to get it banned as they dont think there should be such a blatant link between sex and alcohol. But as Ian will vouch this may be unfounded. The more Ian drinks the less likely he is to have sex: Ian drinking is directly proportional to him talking about sheep. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that talking about sheep is indirectly proportional to pull the ladies.


Slow Blues Day

I’ve been in a wierd mood all day. The realisation that I’m three days away from being unemployed again struck me this morning and, along with some other stuff (lots of little things, which is the way it works with me) brought me down.
Hopefully I can get some writing done soon. Heavensent is on sporadic updates and I’ve had an idea for something a bit more biographical (in fact it’ll be stealing and then fictionalising some stuff I’ve blogged.)
The Friday Five never appealed to me, but this long list of questions has been doing the email rounds recently so I think I’ll share my answers-
1. What time is it? 21:44
2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate? Ian Pattinson
3. Nickname: None that I know of
4. Parents name/s: Jen & Ron
5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: 33
6. Favourite food : Food
7.Date that you regularly blow them out? 11 Jan
8. Eye colour: blue
9. Hair colour: black/ dark brown
10. Piercing: no
11. Tattoos: no
12. How much do you love your job? My job loves me so much it has set me free. If I come back then it was meant to be (Hah!)
13. Favourite colour: blue
14. Hometown: Born in Bridgend, but family home is in Cumbria
15. Current residence: Victoria Park, manchester UK
17. Been to Africa? no
18. Been toilet papering? no
19. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? yes
20. Been in a car accident? yes. They weren’t all my fault.
22. Sprite or 7UP? sprite
23. Favourite movie? The Italian Job
24. Favourite holiday: Chamonix last year
25.Favourite day of the week: Saturday
26. Favourite word or phrase: Arse! (or Buttocks if I’m being polite)
28. Favourite restaurant: Haven’t gone to enough to really decide/ Yo Sushi, cause that’s where I went last.
29. Favourite flowers: Daffodils
30. Favourite drink : Alcoholic- Jennings Sneck Lifter, non Alcoholic- Fresh ground coffee
31. Favourite sport to watch: skate boarding
32. Favourite ice-cream: vanilla- with my own insane concoction of chocolatey bits and sauces slathered on the top
33. Favourite Sesame Street character: cookie monster
34. Disney or Warner Bros.? Warner Brothers
35. Favourite fast food restaurant: Lahore
36. When was your last hospital visit? I work in one, so Thursday. For real, Christmas ’99 after being hit by a car.
37. What colour is your bedroom carpet? green
38. How many times did you fail your drivers test? none
39. Who is the last person you got e-mail from before this? Feed back to my blog, the New York Times and lots of spam offering me mortgages, septic tanks and porn.
41. Which single store would you choose to max your credit card? Forbidden Planet
42. What do you do most often when you are bored? surf and blog
43. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away? My sister in Val d’Isere
44. Most annoying thing people ask me? When are you going to ask her out?
45. Bedtime? 11pm-1am
46. Who will respond the quickest? Dunno
47. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Jenny, Brian and Emma, because this is a reply to the ones they sent me.
48. Favourite all time TV show: Buffy
49. Last person you went out to dinner with? Jenny, Brian, Damian, Elke, Daz and Emily, or, if you extend it to mean any meal, my parents today.


Bring on the Television Preachers

Slate this morning has an interesting article regarding the sending of teleevangilists to Iraq under the pretense of providing humanitarian aid to the Iraqis. Unfortunately, this means a lot of converting those pesky muslims into god fearing, right wing voting Christians. Ari Fleisher said he could not control what humanitarian groups want to in Iraq….

Go figure.