ARRSE

Dave likes looking at Arrse (that’s the Army Rumour Service, he’s not that kind of boy (I think)), from which he sent me this little snippet-

Two stories to make you proud to be British:

This story was in the Daily Mirror yesterday apparently in yet another “friendly fire” incident a US marine decided to open fire on a RAF Chinook Helicopter in central Iraq.

The pilot put down his helicopter yards from the marines and leapt out shouting, “When was the last time you saw a f**king Iraqi helicopter?”

The two needed to be pulled apart after the Brit pilot threw punches at the marine.

In a classic quote from Group Captain Al Lockwood, “It sounds like a typical RAF thing to do, they don’t suffer fools gladly”.

Priceless.

Experts with newscaster on CNN 24th March. Three yank experts including a former 2-star general from Delta Force, 1 ex-SAS and the network’s anchor:

Footage of Iraqis giving themselves up.

Anchor: We have no verification as of yet if they are British or American troops taking these POWs.

Yank 1: Only Americans wear boots like that, they’re American.

Yank 2: I agree, and they appear to have American camouflage jackets.

Yank 3 (delta force bloke): I’m not so sure, there’s not enough up-close detail to tell 100%, we’d need some close images to tell make of boots and jackets and maybe the shape of their Kevlar headgear.

Ex SAS man: Call yourselves experts? Since when did US forces use an SA80 as a standard issue rifle? Their DPMs can be bought as can boots so you’re chasing rainbows if you want to identify them from their clothes.

Anchor: I think you’re right.

Ex SAS man: Course I’m bloody right. Any one with half a brain and basic military training worth their salt should be able to identify a British soldier by his rifle. Not to mention the fact they’re covering all points properly, not shouting “Woo yeah” randomly, and haven’t raised a flag in direct contravention with orders.

At this point one of the yanks walks off stage tearing his mike off, and the anchor says, “I think we can safely say the soldiers on your screen are British. Now for these messages.”

Never listen to the experts, at least, not the American ones.


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