Daily archives: June 17, 2003


Strewth in advertising

I’m feeling a bit adbusters.

As an unemployed person I have come to accept my place before the goggle box. I watch altogether too much television- Discovery channel and Buffy re-runs during the day and imported crime drama at night. I’ve learnt a lot of stuff. Amongst the revelations is just how idiotic so much advertising is, and what morons they think we are. To view some of the promos doing the rounds you’d think that the advertising industry doesn’t believe that anyone, ever, is persuaded by their crap. Some stuff seems designed to put you off the product it’s touting, some tells you you’re an idiot and some is just totally wrong either morally or logically.

One such advert is for the new Lexus rx300. Man puts non-descript and incredibly light box in the back of his butt ugly SUPE (Sports Utility Penis Extension) and drives it down narrow continental streets. Of course if it wasn’t at least one and a half times larger than it needs to be, the streets wouldn’t seem so narrow. Spotting a pile of gravel by the side of the road, he drives one wheel over it. We get a view of a the Sagrada Familia to establish that we’re in Barcelona (because once he gets onto the main road he could be in any godforsaken urban sprawl). The driver sees a puddle everyone else is avoiding and drives through it. Finally our man makes it home, and he parks on a stack of rocks in the garden, cue tagline- “You’ll have to remind yourself it’s a four wheel drive.”

You’ll have to remind yourself! What. The. Fuck? If you need to be updated on your cars true nature, then why did you buy it? Why purchase something that is clumsier around town, consumes more fuel and wears down a greater amount of its components than a two wheel drive? The advert has established that there’s no need for an off roader in the urbs or suburbs. In the country I could understand- dad’s Discovery got him home through snowstorms that brought the rest of the county to a standstill and the prospect of mud is never that far away.

A better strap line for the Lexus ad would be something like- “Fo’ shizzle! All dem other playas ‘as got Range Rovers. Show you put da O in OG wiv a RX. Word.”

More idiocy in advertising as and when it pisses me off.


Wasted day

Not completely, but hardly as productive as I’d have liked.

The agency haven’t got back to me about the BT job. I’ve been waiting for them to call me, tomorrow morning I’m calling them to find out what the hold up is now. The other job looks like a non-starter as well.

I’ve been waiting for a call from my guy I’m doing the freelance work for. He’d call my mobile so, in theory, I could have gone awandering. Except that he’d be calling me up about things I need the computer to do.

And even if I hadn’t been hanging around moping over a phone that won’t ring, there’s little I could do because I don’t have any money. There are various reasons, including the Housing Benefit people being as crap/ overwhelmed as they were last time.

I’m annoyed. I’m not free enough of worries and responsibilities that I can just get out and enjoy the sun and I can’t do anything about it because the people I need to talk to won’t phone me.

[Moan over.]


RPM

As CD drives get faster, they reach the potential limits of the one part that the drive manufacturers can’t ensure is perfectly balanced- the disk itself. A 52x speed single head drive is spinning disks at 10,000 rpm, but one brave soul and his Dremel have tested the media all the way to 35,000, and video’d the resultant dancing disks.

via Dave Barry


African Queen

Toto (you don’t remember them? Here are a few of their albums on Amazon) have had to post a rebuttal of a statement on their website which said that one of their members wouldn’t be on the summer tour because he was having a sex change. It seems the music press has a hard time recognising a joke, even a blatantly obvious one. (Insert “Which would explain [band of choice].” here)

via Left & Right


Mongrels

Mongrel Nation on the Discovery Channel has Eddie Izzard, in his own special camp and random way, explaining some of those things I’ve been saying for years. Namely, the British aren’t some homogenous bunch, but the creations of centuries of immigration and invasion- and that’s what makes us so great. This knowledge, and the idiocy of the racists who cling to made up symbols of ‘Britishness’, is what inspired the themes of my Union Jack idea.

Plus, as a Northerner, there’s a strong chance I’m part Viking. This could mean I’m distantly related to Johnny, but nothing’s perfect.