So, last night I went to the MEN to watch stars of the eighties perform songs from the year my girlfriend was born (and before some of the others I was with were even twinkles). The latest Here and Now tour was passing through town and 8 of us could get in for free if we’d do a collection tied in to Band Aid.
We arrived early and hung around waiting for our guest list tickets. A middle aged lady with a bucket homed in on us and demanded to know we weren’t going to tread on her group’s animal sanctuary collection. (Quote- “They don’t look much like animal lovers.” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe they love animals in their own special way. ‘Hello little puppy, would you like to see some children.’ That sort of thing.”)
Our seats were in one of the first rows, but thankfully not on the section built on top of the icerink. Trying not to take too much ironic pleasure in it all, we sat through the whole thing.
Limahl– (Quote [before]- “You’re probably going to slap me for asking, but who is this man?” [after]- “I bet that man has had a lot of cock.”) At least he didn’t have the stupid hairdo any more.
Living In A Box Played two songs no-one knew then, badly, ended on their eponymous only hit and returned to their jobs at the bank.
The Original Bucks Fizz I think the replacement BF might have been preferable. There’s a sickly sweet pleasure to some of the Fizz’s stuff, and you couldn’t fault there enthusiasm as they recreated dance moves that were cheesey first time. But they did the skirt ripping thing and, really, Cheryl, no. You’re a lovely woman I’m sure, and a minor daytime TV celebrity, but you’ve put on a little weight and it’s unbecoming.
Nik Kershaw Okay, my first thought when he was announced was “Isn’t he the one used to be in Haircut 100?” I quickly realised my mistake. My second thought was “I wonder if he’s still got his gimp?” He gave proper muso banter, sliding a little piss take in by announcing he was going to do something off the new album before a snide “Nah, I know what you’re all here for.” His brief set encouraged me to, at the very least, Kazaa for Kershaw soon.
Belinda Carlisle “I have to say, Manchester’s a fucking gorgeous city….. I really shouldn’t swear, they dock me.” Quite a pleasant set, actually, and I liked the acoustic-y version of the first verse of Heaven is a Place on Earth.
Kim Wilde The Guardian gardening columnist bounced onto stage in a traumatic (for us) leather combo and proceeded to bash out a number of incoherent numbers. Rocking Around the Christmas Tree and Kids in America were good, but personally, I could have done with less Wilde and more Kershaw.
Midge Ure We had to head out part way through this set, so I can’t really comment on it.
We were picking our places to collect when the Transport Filth pulled us aside and frisked us (okay, it was a bit more civilised than that. It seems one of the ladies in the row before us had lost her phone and purse and obviously the gang of youngsters (and their straggly- haired Fagin like companion) must have taken it. We managed to prove our innocence, and avoid trhe temptation to wave a collecting bucket in their faces, before the crowd spilled out.
I tried collecting a few years ago, was crap at it and gave up. Last night restored my confidence about it. In twenty minutes our little team took �1770 and I managed to bag �185.10, including one �20 note. All good.
Meanwhile, my sister went to see the Godfather of Glum.