The Transporter

With the exception of some very good fight scenes about three quarters of the way through this film is challenging Catwoman for a special place on the bottom of the pile.

Jason Statham is Frank, a retired soldier who now plies a trade as a getaway driver/ courier of illegal goods in the South of France. During the opening chase sequence his robotic insistence on sticking to his special set of rules, supposed to drive home his hard edge, actually makes him look like an anal retentive queen. And it only gets worse from there. Finally breaking one of his rules, “Never open the package”, he gets involved in a nonsensical confusion of double crosses, shoot outs and people smuggling culminating in a fight on a moving lorry reminiscent of Indiana Jones.

The car chases want to be Ronin, and fail miserably. The acting is terrible. And this little corner of the Riviera is populated by people who speak English, with only their stupid accents to hint where they’re from. Given that it was co-written and produced by Luc Besson, the man behind the excellent Leon, I was expecting so much more.

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