Daily archives: February 14, 2009

Tweets today

23:25 Blog: Tweets today tinyurl.com/dmx4lg #

09:24 Blog: Anomaly Cop tinyurl.com/cgr4sl #

12:25 Blog: The tweets that died on the wing tinyurl.com/dn6pgp #

12:25 Blog: It’s Like That tinyurl.com/ahe58m #

14:24 Blog: St. Peter’s Beard tinyurl.com/dmzpge #

15:24 Blog: Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ. Get the T-shirt. tinyurl.com/avh3b4 #

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St. Peter’s Beard

Because I -promised to look it up, here’s a brief history of merkins from Wikipedia

A merkin (first use, according to the OED, 1617) is a pubic wig, originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia to eliminate lice or disguise the marks of syphilis. Also many women used them so they didn’t have to hide the fact that they had shaved their genitalia. There are many different ways of wearing a merkin, although most involve placing the merkin on the vulva or the scrotum.

The term is also applied to decorative (typically sequinned) patches commonly sold in sets with nipple tassels or “pasties” and are enjoying new popularity as part of the costume of new burlesque adult entertainment.

In American cinema, merkins are currently used in films where they are worn by actors and actresses to prevent inadvertent exposure of the genitalia during nude or semi-nude scenes. If no merkin were worn, it would be necessary to restrict the shot to exclude the genital area; with the merkin in place brief flashes of the crotch can be used if necessary. The presence of the merkin protects the actor from inadvertently performing ‘full-frontal’ nudity (their contract may specifically require that nipples and genitals be covered in some way), and can help ensure that the film achieves a more “acceptable” MPAA rating.

Houghton Mifflin’s American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition describes the term’s etymology as stemming from an “alteration of obsolete malkin, lower-class woman, mop, from Middle English; from Malkin, diminutive of the personal name Matilda.”

It has also been suggested that, in the period when male actors played female parts, they would cover their genitals with a merkin so they could expose themselves as women in bawdy scenes.

A “short and curly history of the merkin” in The Guardian provided a partial history of the merkin. It highlighted “comedy terrorist” Aaron Barschak’s flashing of a merkin to onlookers.

The Oxford Companion to the Body dates the origin of the pubic wig back to 1450, claiming that women would shave their pubic hair and wear a merkin to combat pubic lice, and that prostitutes would wear them to cover up signs of disease. This book also mentions the tale of one man that gave a cardinal of the Catholic Church a merkin that he had acquired from a prostitute and then combed and dried. He claimed it was St. Peter’s beard.

The tweets that died on the wing 1

It seems that Twitter hasn’t received, or has chosen to ignore, every text message I’ve sent to it since about 11pm 0on Thursday. So, because I’m obsessive and some of them are quite odd, here they are in order of sending-

Friday the 13th followed by Valentines. It’s a bad weekend to be superstitious or single.

The predictive text combination for cock is the same as for anal. (and coal, but that’s not as rude.)

Must google merkins.

Oops. I fell off the wagon. Ah well, Dirty Tackle is nice.

Do not disrespect the nipples.

Dan’s tranny birthday party?

I would, if I got the chance.

Anomaly Cop

I'm the anomaly cop. I clean up after time travellers.
It all started when my time machine exploded. I spent ten seconds, and ten thousand years, trapped in the has between then and now as they tried to get me back. It didn't quite work, and now there's a bit of my brain smeared across the continuum.
What it means is that I have a perfect snapshot of what the last ten millennia were like the day I jumped. If anyone else goes back in time and causes changes I start getting double vision- their future and my present. It gives me terrible headaches.
So I track them down, travel back to just before they jump, and kill them. It makes the migraine go away.