We watch the reports on the bomb for far too long. The television is the only source of light in the room. More deaths, I really thought I’d left all that behind.
Sally can’t seem to settle. She tries lying with her head in my lap, then curling up against the cushion at the other end. After a while she gets up and walks through to the kitchen to check something. I take the opportunity to check again the locks on the front door and move the bike trailer so that the first thing anyone coming through will do is tip it over.
We both get back to the living room at the same time. She heads over to the television. “That’s about enough of that.” she switches it off.
It’s dark. I’m loving how little light pollution there is in the city nowadays. Of course, it does mean I can’t see where Sally is. Our only guide as we home in on each other is radar on our shuffling and voices.
“Was every day like this in France? Overpowered by knowing you were only streets away from death?”
“Not every day. But too many, for sure.” Let’s see. One, two steps and I’m up against the side of the sofa. Now, there’s no table in the middle of the room, but that also means there’s enough space for us to walk past each other. I make a guess and head off for where I think the television is. I adjust my direction slightly when I hear a giggle.
“I never thought I wanted babies, until I met yours. Now I don’t know, maybe one day. If things ever get better. But tonight I just want to fuck.” After a moment she adds, “If I can find you.”
I take another step toward the voice. A hand brushes against me, stops and grabs T-shirt. Then she’s right against me, one hand pulling my head down into a kiss, the other struggling with my belt.