Monthly archives: July 2009


Pick the cover design for Shall We Take A Trip?

I have two designs in mind for the first issue of Shall We Take A Trip?. I’ve done some roughs and I’d like to hear what people think.

Shall We Take A Trip? cover rough 1

Version 1. As the story is partly about nostalgia and takes place on the set of a movie set in the ’90s this cover is meant to show the progress from then to now. From home made compilation tape to home made compilation cd to carrying your music around digitally. The bottom image may become a generic mp3 player.

Shall We Take A Trip? cover rough

Version 2. This is a black and white rough. The final version will be in colour. I may even do it as a photo. The elements are taken from the book’s first sex scene. In fact, I think everything’s there apart from the copulating couple. As the comic’s all about sex it’s more honest about the insides than version 1.

Fonts and type colours are open for change, obviously. The ones used are there to give an idea of text placement.

So, which one’s your favourite? Which one do you think will sell better? Any ideas for improvements/ better designs?


The next time I cycle I’m gonna bring a gun!

Who’s that wanker in your rear view mirror
Who’s that tosser in the Carter shirt
Who’s that loser in the ford granada
Who’s that bleeder with his face in the dirt

Where’s that copper when you need him badly
Where’s Homer Simpson where is Bart
Where’s your sense of right and justice
Where’s my knowledge of the martial arts

Fish Face you’re a fish face you’re a disgrace
And am sick and tired sick and tired
Fish Face waste of road space off of your face
And am sick and tired sick and tired

I’m that bloke with the broken racer
I’m that bloke with the fractured arm
You’re that bloke with no insurance
And I’m that bloke who’s not keeping calm

I don’t suppose you have ever read the highway code
You know that you shouldn’t be allowed on the road

(Chorus)

I remember when the bicycle was safe and it was fun
The next time I cycle I’m gonna bring a gun!

That’s right Fish Face
Just for you

Abdoujaparov – Fish Face


Sounds of Soldiers – Drop

I spent a long time staring at the body of the man I’d strangled to death. I didn’t feel sick. I glanced at the bodies of the three man who’d entered the forest with me and felt glad not to be one of them. After a while I began to get a detached feeling, like an out of body experience. That was the point where I knew I had to start moving or I’d be a zombie’d sitting target for any of the American’s friends who were out there.

His gun lay close by, where it had dropped from his grasp as he passed out. I picked it up and studied it, but took a minute to realise what was strange about it. It was brand new. There was almost no wear on it, except where it had hit the ground as he thrashed around. It still had the thin sheen of oil it had been wearing when it left the factory.

Studying the body I could now tell that the webbing he wore was new as well. The pouches that hung off it held spare magazines, boxes of ammunition and a tracking device. I rolled him over and, without looking him in the face, removed the webbing. After a bit of adjustment it fit me. I reloaded the gun and surveyed the hollow.

It was obvious where we had entered from, the path came down from the trees, ran around a small boulder then headed out again. A shallow gouge, and the wounded tree, showed where our attacker had fallen from. Crouching, and with the gun at the ready, I climbed to where he had been standing.

I hadn’t expected to find anybody at the top of the short climb, but a little paranoia was appropriate. I scanned the trees and soon found the direction he had come from. Branches had been broken and the ground was disturbed, he had run to the vantage point so he could be waiting for us. I turned tracking device on, it indicated that something was slightly to the right of where he’d come from. I started to trace his steps back.

The paranoia resurfaced and I tried to keep the gun at the ready. That didn’t work with the tracker in one hand, until I found how to mount it where the sights would normally go.

The pod had been slowed by a parachute, which had tangled in the branches to hold it upright with the tip jammed between roots. This wasn’t a bomb or a fuel tank, it had panels which opened along its length to reveal the cargo inside. Weapons, lots of them. I approached slowly and checked inside. There were more submachine guns like the one I carried, grenades, slabs of what was probably C4, sniper rifles, webbing and lots of ammunition.

I’d carried a hunting rifle early in the conflict, and become quite good with it. It would be nice to have another one, so I shouldered one and grabbed a few boxes of ammunition.

The beacon had to be somewhere inside the pod. Not the nose, because that would hit the ground first. Somewhere in the tail then. The skin was thin, and the pod was hollow all the way to the end. I craned my head round and stared up the inside. There was a red light up there. It took a bit of fussing to get the gun in and aimed, then I let off a couple of bursts. They were horribly loud in the confined space, but the light went off. The tracker wasn’t detecting anything any more.

I made myself absent, jogging back to the clearing as fast as possible. It was only when I was back with the bodies that I realised I should have tagged the location with my GPS.


Books, art and food on Saint Anne’s Square

Delivering a cultured continental feel in that characteristically mancunian damp and overcast way.


Bridges

“What happened to the town?”

“The same thing that happened to Paris, I think. Twice.”

Jean-Luc looks across at me. “You were in Paris, weren’t you? This is what they did to our capital city?”

“The blast radius looks the same. There aren’t many bombs that can do that much damage. It looks like the one to the east hit second.”

“But why destroy this town? There’s no heavy industry, no military base.” The question came from Georges, one of our younger volunteers.

Jean-Luc pointed down the river to the road bridge. “Probably because of that. They wanted to be sure there was no resistance when their group crossed the river.”

“The last time I heard of them doing something like that they sent another B2 to destroy the bridge once the squad was across so they couldn’t be followed. Perhaps your air force got the second wave.” I offered.

Jean-Luc made a very French dismissive sound. “They got the wrong ones. It is something, though, to get any.”

“Stealth bombers aren’t as undetectable as they’d like you to believe.” We’d seen an example of a development in stealth detection not long before. Army trucks with arrays of directional microphones mounted on the bed. The microphones swept the sky, listening for planes. It was practically a nineteenth century technology, albeit with a bus full of electronics to analyze it and aim guns based upon the data collected.

“Why don’t we just drop a nuclear bomb on Washington?” Georges Asked.

“Because then they would drop nuclear bombs on us. They haven’t hit us with any nuclear weapons yet because they know French submarines have to be sat off their coast ready to destroy some of their cities. So far whoever is in charge of their nukes has had the sense not to start the end of the world.”

“There are still fires burning down there.” I didn’t want to think about apocalypse, so I brought the subject back to the present situation. “It can’t have happened that long ago.”

“There may still be people to rescue from the ruins.” Jean-Luc didn’t sound that convinced of what he said, “We should go and offer our help.”


This bolt is really pissing me off 1

I can’t get any of my sockets onto it to remove it. One last new tool and then I’ll give up on it.
On the plus side, I am restocking my tool kit, parts of which have been lost over the years.


Chilling with an Earl Grey outside the International Festival pavillion 1

I’m in a deck chair, so I may be trapped.


Thoughts on Thought For The Day

I wake up to the Today programme on Radio 4. Then I hit the snooze button and try to get a few more minutes shut eye. This continues for an hour or so, with me leaving the radio on for interesting bits of news. I always turn off Thought for the Day, because it’s invariably banal. Maybe if they change the rules to include the occasional non-religious speaker that might change. One day a week where a speaker argues for morality without reference to an ancient book or imaginary historical figure will be refreshing and make the gods squad up their game to stay relevant.


Neo nazis in the US military

This is another of the elements that went into Sounds of Soldiers. There is evidence that a small, but significant, number of US military personnel are members of hate groups. The Southern Poverty Law Centre, cited in the report, have done other investigations into the problem. It seems they’ve mostly been ignored.

As a folow up the Stripes site has this- White supremacist leader says half of his group has served in the military.


Bitter Sweets

With thanks to Comosa, who responded to one of last night’s tweets. Yes, they do make anti Love Hearts – Bitter Sweets.

For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year than that of Valentine’s Day. While a tiny fraction of the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and roses, poetry and song, the vast majority of us can anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and grief. A day in which minutes seem like hours, and hours like days, as we reflect sorrowfully on yesteryear’s romantic indignities, today’s loneliness, and the unknowable but certain heartbreak that will be visited upon us repeatedly in the years to come.

When cruelty and holidays collide, the weak-willed find solace in self-pity and comfort foods. And now, Despair Inc. is pleased to announce that we’ve combined BOTH into a radical new offering.

Introducing Bittersweets – The Valentine’s Candy for the Rest of Us.


Where the rooms are carpetted with copper


Image from notcot.com

The floor of The Standard Grill in The Standard Hotel in New York is laid with pennies. I imagine it’s a surprise to find out how the floor gets that lovely colour.

Comments on the post point out a Paul Smith boutique with walls decorated in pennies and that the Hotel Congress in Tuscon has a similar floor.