You have the right to be what we tell you to be

I discovered Richard Carvath in the run up to the election. I’ve been following him, and fellow self righteous bigot Stewart Cowan, on and off ever since because they can be amusing, In a face-palming I-can’t-believe-anyone-can-be-that-stupid kind of a way. I started writing about them here because arguing with them on their own blogs was a waste of good material I should be sharing with my readers. I hope it has kept you amused. However, it may be time for some of Carvath’s family members to perform an intervention. It’s possible he’s finally slipped over the edge.

Carvath is so proud that the Conservative Party taking his money and sending him a card that he has invented a group called STRAYTory (formerly straightory, which had, for about ten minutes, a blogspot blog here. Apparently-

STRAYTory is the group of social conservatives which campaigns for LGBT rights – specifically the right of LGBT people to go STRAYT.

Which might sound menacing if it wasn’t coming from someone who looks like Mr. Bean’s embarrassing nephew.

STRAYTory’s equally made up leader Jemima Babesworth (given Carvath’s fascination with all things homosexual, surely Jemima Beard would have been more appropriate) has invited him to be a bit of rough for a party full of posh totty and he just can’t wait. I’ve done a basic check on all this- Googling the organisation, Ms. Babesworth and the location of the supposed party- and got no results.

It wouldn’t be too much to conclude that Carvath now lives in his own fantasy world, where he’s being revered as a God-loving heterosexual hero. Perhaps he’ll stage the special party all by himself and post pictures of himself in a room full of primly dressed Real Dolls gurning joyfully. Or maybe he won’t last that long and will be found wandering through Salford with a bedsheet as a toga declaiming on the sins of fornication and homosexual-perversion before October’s out. I did tell him months ago that he needed help. He should have listened to me.

More likely, just, is that this is all a jape, an attempt to satirise the Conservative’s gay group LGBTory. I’m not sure how the satire’s meant to be working. Maybe I need to be a Tory, or Richard Carvath, to understand the subtle points he’s making.

There is a third possibility. Perhaps it’s all an elaborate I’m Still Here style confection, and Richard Carvath doesn’t exist at all. He’s just a character being played by an actor and it’s all about recording the reactions to this bizarre and unlikeable character and his descent into delusion. If that’s the case then I have to congratulate the actor on his convincing portrayal of a gullible and bewildered homophobe/closet case.

Or maybe this shadowy organisation really exists and is operating behind pseudonyms and with great secrecy. Perhaps it won’t be long until gangs of Tory men, determined to prove their heterosexuality, roam through towns shouting “You have the right to be STRAYT!” at any well dressed men or women with short hair.

I’m going to have nightmares now.


7 Responses to You have the right to be what we tell you to be

  1. You’d love it at a STRAYTory party Ian.

    I remember you said you’re STRAYT on some other thread.

    If you email Jemima Babesworth she’ll probably send you an invite.

    • Avatar Ian Pattinson
      Ian Pattinson says:

      I have no desire to communicate with a figment of your imagination.

      And I’d never call myself STRAYT. It’s not even a real word.

  2. You clearly have the desire to blog about me.

    Why not blog about Richard Dawkins or Evan Harris instead?

    • Avatar Ian Pattinson
      Ian Pattinson says:

      Why should I blog about Evan Harris? What has he done to offend you? Has he said something reasonable and well thought out that’s at odds with your prejudices and narrow world view?

      I’m sure I have blogged about Richard Dawkins in the past. I’ve read The God Delusion and The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution. Both are great books, strongly and coherently argued and full of interesting information. You should try them, you’d learn a lot.

      Why shouldn’t I blog about you? You’re local, you’re opinionated and you make some poorly argued, unsubstantiated and offensive claims. The nonsense you say makes a great springboard for posts where I can outline why you, and the people whose ideas you’re repeating, are wrong.

      If you really think you have a future in politics and public life then you need to get used to the fact that some of us are going to look at what you say and question it and point out the weaknesses in your arguments. If you can’t handle the attention you should rethink your plans.

  3. You’re welcome to blog about me if you want to Ian, but there is zero prospect of me ever blogging about you.

    • Avatar Ian Pattinson
      Ian Pattinson says:

      I don’t mind whether you blog about me or not. Though you should never say never, you’ll look silly when you do blog about me.

      No answer on why you think Evan Harris is blog worthy. What’s he done?

      Have you ever read any Dawkins? Or any of the well written books explaining evolution? It’s really a simple process once you get your head around and far more obvious and logical than any of the alternatives suggested by creationists and the like.

  4. Spinneyhead says- Odd as it feels to be defending Richard Carvath, I think this comment is one of many spammed to a few Manchester and Salford blogs. A quick Google has shown similar messages appearing at the Salfordonline blog (though that’s broken at the moment, so I can’t check the exact contents). “Rocky Lionheart” is welcome to defend and prove their comments here if they wish, but I’d appreciate it if they came clean about their identity and didn’t make such claims behind the veil of anonymity.

    It will probably come as no great surprise to you to learn that it’s now come to light that Richard Carvath is a convicted stalker and has been locked up in a mental institution in the past! He decided that god had told him the daughter of a fellow church member was destined to be his wife and even though he didn’t even know her proceeded to harass the life out of her and her family.

    He was warned by the police but informed them that god had spoken to him and that it was the police the girl and her family who would have to face divine justice unless they made her marry him forthwith! Of course he was convicted then refused to carry out his sentence as he was only following what god had told him and was not subject to English criminal law or courts. Eventually he was sectioned and dragged off by the men in white coats screaming that satan was in control of his “enemies”.

    Richard Carvath is living proof that care in the community does not work.