Fun Monkey


Blogging hits a new low..

According to this article in the Washington Post, AOL is due to release its own blogging software for its members. Can you imagine some of talk? Oh the humanity. Better yet, AOL found its members don’t understand what “blog” means, so they have instead decided to call their programme “AOL Journals”. Here’s a snippet:

AOL this month began showing demos of its tools for creating Web logs, or blogs, to veteran bloggers. AOL has dubbed its service “AOL Journals” because its surveys showed that members found the word “blogs” confusing, said Rick Robinson, AOL’s vice president for community products.

One interesting thing, AOL Journalistas will be able to pay extra for the priviledge of blogging by phone. Call me a cynic, but doesn’t that just make it a bit too boring?


Blog Regime Change!

Ok. Here’s the scoop. Team Spinneyhead requires a weekend retreat to refresh the blog batteries!!!!

I am sure the whole team requires a weekend away either in Scotland or Tuscany, but to continue the practice of global quality content delivery, a BBQ at Team Spinneyhead HQ will suffice.

I dare ask the question, can Spinneyhead management cope with the extra pressure of keeping its core workers content?

Will Spinneyhead Management make an initial commitment and provide a date and list of team events?

We all await management response!


Got speeding tickets?

Well in the USA, people have finally cottoned on to the intrusive and police budget contributing use of speed cameras. Want the solution? It comes in a spray. I don’t know whether it is illegal here, but it doesn’t prevent the license plate from being read on the road and it reflects all light from a flash camera. Watch the Fox news tests on the website – it’s impressive stuff.

Pretty cool. If I was still driving all over the country, it would be in the glove compartment at all times.


An open letter to the Blacklist:

Spinneyhead is now featured on the front page of The Blacklist.

A small snipet just to get you over to his site:

“knew it wasn’t a sincere comment. So I did some digging and traced him back to Spinneyhead. Just an America bashing blog done by some jealous Brits. I guess they forget that we saved their ass in two World War’s and kicked theirs in a number of others. ”

After reading that, and being called British, I knew I had to become a Blacklist member. Ian did have point, he provides some great stuff. Hey, he might even be an intellectual resource for normal people. Oh the irony. You can find my first post here, but I copied for the world to see:

“Ok….Lets see – reporting hate sites to the ISPs, ranting about how liberals and racists are horrible, and then, my personal favorite, taking a cheap shot at the spiritual leader of www.Spinneyhead.co.uk

you best be getting off the crack rock my man.

To quote the Blacklist himself:

“Just an America bashing blog done by some jealous Brits. I guess they forget that we saved their ass in two World War’s and kicked theirs in a number of others”

Man oh man. phew! Way to go tough guy. Let’s examine the reality. You probably didn’t realize Team Spinneyhead has some diverse members. I am from the States – you d*ckhead! I am more inclined to refer to you as ASSHAT though.

Judging by the time clock on the front page, you’re two hours off Eastern Standard Time. That would put you smack in the middle of nowehere. My personal guess is you are located in Iowa and this site makes up for the fact your ignorant. I wonder if you have ever adventured outside your own state, let alone the country? You probably don’t know what a passport is.

Now that the rant is done, let’s get something else out of the way. Trying to shut down sites made by stupid people filled with venom might seem heroic, but do you realise by preventing those f*ckwits the right to speak, you undermine the core ideals of Freedom of Speech?

Way to go, you intellectual superhero!

A message to our leader – and the team – I think it time for some petty squabbling with those inferior blogsters over at the Blacklist. Especially after he called me British!!!!

Sign up to The Blacklists Forums here and lets use them for something positive. Post a liberal each day!


What a great day!

Ok. It’s true one of the most annoying and dangerous US politicians has died in America. Aside from saying “THANK GOD!!!” and dancing on the tables with joy, one must look at the life Strom Thurmond led and what he meant to the Republican party, The South and to a way of life not since replicated. On the left, The New York Times front page leads with Stroms years of denying blacks civil rights. The Washington Times on the otherhand, calls him one of most “influential politicians of all time”. Hmmm….

Now back to more important matters. I found an interesting commercial this morning, brought to us by those great folks at the Center for Consumer Freedom. Why is this important? Well, over in America lawyers are gearing up to take fatty foods to court and seek damages because people don’t know when/how to stop shoveling food in their pieholes.

Now the interesting part. The Center for Consumer Freedom is paid for by fast food companies and a host of others. Watch the commercial and see how they portray lawyers as just out for money and how the companies are victims because “they made something taste good”…..


And you thought the Americans were bad

Ok. I found a blog called expatyank, and jimney christmas, this guy is fantastic. He is extremely right wing, supports war and has an acute ability to be a complete racist!!!!

But the best part, drum roll please, he actually lives in Dorset with an English wife! All this pro-neocon shite eminating from this guy’s bungholio, BUT THE FIRST CHANCE HE GOT TO GET OUT OF THE STATES – HE TOOK IT!

Please, I beg of you, you must visit his site. It will reinforce all the negative american stereotypes you’ve been harboring for years…….


The happiness radiates in Iraq

according to the Washington Times. On page seven of today’s edition, it’s all about how the ordinary folks are in Iraq are so happy booze is legal again. I feel the love baby, and can’t wait to visit Baghdad for a few nights to party it up! bottle of gin or whiskey for six dollars. What a steal!

Oh, did I mention the Washington Times didn’t have any other stories about Iraq, WMDs, or the fact American soldiers are dying at a faster rate when the war was still “on”?


The New York Times and "All The News Thats Fit To Spin"

(from Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary)

spin (DECEIVING) noun [S][U] INFORMAL

when an idea or situation is expressed or described in a clever way that makes it seem better than it really is, especially in politics:

For those of you who don’t know, the quotes in the heading are a wordplay on some of the most famous words printed each day on a newspaper that been around for about 130 years.

The New York Times, my most beloved daily, has had its day.

I don’t know if many of you have heard about Jayson Blair and his uncanny ability to write vast amount of column space from his Brooklyn flat while supposedly out in the field, but he has has ruined the love affair I’ve had for years with the NY Times. In owning up to its erroneous ways, the NY Times printed a 17,000 word story which highlighted every single one of his made up stories as well as the embellishments to real tags. Since that public display of apology (PDA), two editors have resigned, the right and the left openly call the NY Times a piece of shite, and readers have wondered away in droves.

All this comes from a paper I used to read during my sophomore year of high school while sitting on the radiator with my best pal Brian Schneider. Lucky or not so lucy for me, our teacher had the foresight to get us involved with reading the paper every single day and openly discussing the content. Since that class, I have read the NY Times in America, Scandinavia and Europe on a daily basis. In fact, I can’t recall not reading the NY Times for over 15 years (I am only 30). I have even gone so far to have the Sunday NY Times delivered to my house on Tuesdays in Britain just to get my fix! Well. Well.

The affair is over, but like any good relationship, I am on the rebound. With the NY Times trying every single day not to be a newspaper associated with bullshit; it becomes more and more congenial to the American way of spin and doesn’t ask important questions anymore lest there might be accusations of impropriety. Where can I turn for American news that isn’t tainted by Mr. Murdoch or so obviously on the left, like Washington Post, but really delivers American news in a concise objective manner? Sadly, the answer is nowhere.

During my long love affair I used the NY Times to balance my left with the right, mainly reading the The Washington Times and other conservative newspapers to come up with a proportion of the real truth, but that isn’t possible anymore. My mantra has change completely. I am starting to believe all the news I read is spin or favouritism so why even bother reading it anymore? It is one thing to be well informed, but it is another to be a sheep believing what the news tells us must be true. At this rate, I don’t think I will ever believe anything in the media again. Bring on Fark, at least it highlights the stupidity of man and newsprint

I would personally like to say F*CK YOU TO THE NEW YORK TIMES as they are bunch of asshats who put the need for diversity above the lofty ideals of journalism!!


Must have gear!

This is the coolest thing I have seen in a while: The Vision Station. Imagine your own personal Imax. Far too cool for most. Drool. Drool. Drool.

Oh and I noticed this morning a company called PhatNoise which makes a 20gig MP3 car player which is amazing!! Drive along listen to endless tunes and when you want to change music, whip the cartridge out of the trunk (boot) and dock in its USB cradle. Fantastic. The site is v. cool.


Revision Precision

While finding it rather rich that Condoleeza and others are now blaming “revisionist” history tactics for the lack of WMDs, what the hey. Irony is elusive in the states. Let’s just hope “revisionist history” and “roadmap” do not become the overused monikers like every other phrase from the war..

Better things. Sun. Sea. Sand. Not here.

I wanted to play cards, but didn’t want to use the Iraqi most wanted as it’s hard to differentiate between colour and value. Instead I have ordered up some “Most Unwanted Cards” featuring the Dixie Chicks, Tony Blair etc..What a great gift idea.

Now back to the Fo’ Shizzling of Ma’ Nizzling: You got the name. Now you need the all the appropriate gear. Get to BlingBay right now and check it yo’.


fo' shizzle my nizzle

Well. Well. After three high court justices ruled that rap was pretty a much a foreign language, I figured it was time to whip out the schoolbook and learn me some rap yo’.

But first I needed a name here. Which turned out to be:

A** MACHINE JONES

Give it go. I wonder what blingin’ bling ghetto name you end up with. It can’t be worse than mine.


Flag shopping anyone?

I haven’t ever really thought of buying a flag, but with the July 4th George Bush tribute fire coming up, I thought what the heck. I HIT THE MOTHERLOAD! It turns out that a British company called Mr. Flag sells just about every flag under the sun. Ian and company I trust will use this link to choose the USA flag of choice; I prefer the original Betsy Ross 13 star one myself, but hey, why not a 23, 38 or 48 star one?

If you choose it, it will come via 1st class recorded delivery.


All Hail to Texas Politicians:

Straight from Wired:

“Talk about slippery politicians. The makers of the lubricant WD-40 are objecting to three Texas lawmakers calling themselves “the WD-40s” — they’re white Democrats over 40. A company attorney sent a cease-and-desist letter to the group. The trio responded sweetly, “We were not aware that your client harbored reservations about doing business with Anglo white males over 40.” The letter, backed by a couple of Republican representatives, also suggested that Texas shares of WDFC stock worth millions could be sold to help with a state-budget shortfall. The lawmakers’ letter ended: “God bless the Rural White Boys and God bless Texas.” One of the WD-40s says nobody meant to offend, and endorsed the product: “Bubbas love WD-40.”


All Hail Bank Holiday Monday

Well with a day off and nothing better to do than surf the internet for stupidity, I have crawled through the depths of the internet to bring you:

1.DuckHunt – The original Nintendo game is now on the net. Good for a few laughs.

2. Virtual Dog Shite Creator – Its amazing what university students can do with Linux and thousands of pictures of dog kaka. Just look at all the options.

3. Safer America – This company stocks just about everything for the modern citizen concerned about terrorists. The environ-bubble, parachute and SARS protection tablets should do the trick for all those “amber” alert days.

4. Meet Stuart – Hes just your average carbon based life form. This must be a joke.

Last night I found something that may have been mentioned before on this site but still worth a revisit. Ali Davis, a 31 year old post feminist from the Chicago area happens to be a adult video store clerk. Now that is not too interesting, but she has been posting to her blog the customer behaviors and good insight as to how porn operates in the sane and not so sane people that buy/rent it. Take a look for yourself.

Thanks very much to fazed.net for the game contributions.