Get your rocks off

A new alcopop for well almost everyone (Sorry Ian, who is violently allergic to vodka). Roxxoff is new alcoholic drink with aphrodisiac properties. Currently, their is a group of lobbyists trying to get it banned as they dont think there should be such a blatant link between sex and alcohol. But as Ian will vouch this may be unfounded. The more Ian drinks the less likely he is to have sex: Ian drinking is directly proportional to him talking about sheep. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that talking about sheep is indirectly proportional to pull the ladies.

So that's how the holes get there!

What is it about Americans and Doughnuts (read as “Donuts” if you’re the subject). Especially American cops?

Off to Edinburgh for a day or two next week. Might meet somebody like Tony Blair, but then again I may meet somebody important like the great John O himself. Alternatively, I might end up getting seriously mashed. But that doesn’t preclude the other two, just makes for more interesting blogs afterwards.

Odd sense of English. “Alternatively” shouldn’t really work in the sentence above since you can only have two alternatives. “Optionally” didn’t sound right, due to other connotations, which imply I could or couldn’t do it. It doesn’t really accept the hand of fate (nor alcohol) in getting drunk.

As for it being Monday, it’s one of the better days.

Tomorrow we diet!

On Sunday I’m going to start a period of abstention, and not just because I’ll be hungover after my birthday. On Monday, if I’m up to it, I’ll start cycling to work. All of this healthy activity doesn’t mean I’ve given in to the body image fascists. I long ago decided I’d fare better if people judged me on my ability and nature rather than crumpled shirts or expanding waistline.

I’m cycling because I can (and because if I leave it too much longer I’ll be so out of shape that I can’t) and it’s cheaper and faster than a bus or car. I’m giving up alcohol because it aggravates the ulcer and I’m going to restart my medication. Losing a little weight and being fitter can only help.

Now, if I can just persuade Daz to stop putting chilli in everything I might just be able to beat the little bastard growling in my guts.

(This is my first post by e-mail, so apologies if the format is weird. I’ll fix it later.)

on edit- Boy did it do wierd things to the format

In amongst the big box o’ stuff I had delivered from home were several copies of Deadline. The one from June 1993 had a questionnaire in it. I thought I’d go back over it and do a then and now (on the non Deadline ones, seeing as it’s not around any more)-
1 Are you
Then- Male
Now- Still Male (who’d have thought?)
2 How old are you?
T- 18-24
N- Old enough to know better
3 Are You?
T- Desperate
N- Still Desperate
4 Currently
T- Employed full time- University sabbatical officer
N- Employed full time (for the next fortnight)- IT thingummy
5 Where do you live?
T- Manchester
N- Manchester
6 Where do you live?
T- Rented house/ flat
N- Rented house/ flat (but this one’s not a share)
7 Who would you prefer to sleep with? (from a list of Glyn Dillon/ Keanu Reeves/ Our sad ad manager/ Winona Ryder/ Neither- my girlfriend, boyfriend, dog would freak)
T- Winona Ryder
N- Winona Ryder
8 How often do you go to the following-
T- Cinema (sometimes), Pub (once a week or more), Club (once a week or more), comic shop (once a month), record shop (once a month)
N- Cinema (once a month), Pub (once a week or less), Club (sometimes), Restaurant (sometimes), Comic shop (once a week), Record shop (once a week)
9 Which magazines do you read? (from a list)
T- Cosmo
N- NME, 2000AD, Judge Dredd megazine, Fortean Times
10 What do you own?
T- Stereo, Walkman, Bicycle, Deadline T-shirt
N- Stereo, Discman, Video, DVD player, Bicycle (*2), Console (PS2), PC
11 Average monthly spend on-
T- Singles (nowt), Albums (under �10), CDs (nothing), Blank tapes (�5-10), Clothes (under �25), Shoes (something), Comics (Under �5), Computer games (nothing), Alcohol (�25-50),
N- Singles [CD](�10+), Albums (nothing), CDs (�12-25), Blank tapes (nothing), Clothes (under �25), Shoes (something), Comics (face it, I’m a sad bastard), Computer games (�40+), Alcohol (�25-50)
12 What do you drink?
T- Bitter, Cocktails, Soft Drinks
N- Bitter, Lager, Spirits, Mineral Water, Soft Drinks
13 Do you smoke?
T- No
N- No

So, nine years on and it looks like things haven’t changed much, or they’ve just come full circle. I have more to spend, don’t go out as much and Winon Ryder is still cute.

Another lost weekend, but this one’s down to video games and apathy more than alcohol. Truth be told, I’m a little pissed off with myself. There’s so much I want to do, and I just don’t. Or if I do something, I won’t be able to fully enjoy it because I’ll be thinking about the things I should have been doing instead. AAAAAAGH!

Friday’s, Saturday’s and today’s pics are finally up, and you’ll notice a bit of Spring cleaning has been done.

Yesterday’s pic. And today’s.

Holiday’s almost over. I still keep bottling out of frontside turns and put a little too much weight on the back foot, but I am way better than when I got out here.

I now own a chocolate fondue thingy, snowboarding Action Man, scale piste basher (or Preparatore Piste Bully as it says on the pack) and one of almost every comics magazine published in France this month [including the rude ones, except for ‘Bede SM’- not my style]. I reckon the fondue’ll be the hardest thing to get through customs- they have a special ‘Kitsch to declare’ line at the new Liverpool airport.

I am off alcohol until at least the 15th of February (supposed leaving date) and I have to start practising for the Bogle Roll. 75-125 miles on a bike, in a day, past Bury and Bolton. And, as it’s in March probably in the rain as well.

And I’ve got to start eating healthily as well……….