A new alcopop for well almost everyone (Sorry Ian, who is violently allergic to vodka). Roxxoff is new alcoholic drink with aphrodisiac properties. Currently, their is a group of lobbyists trying to get it banned as they dont think there should be such a blatant link between sex and alcohol. But as Ian will vouch this may be unfounded. The more Ian drinks the less likely he is to have sex: Ian drinking is directly proportional to him talking about sheep. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that talking about sheep is indirectly proportional to pull the ladies.
Arse, arse, arse, arse. arse!
I give up. I’m shite at the relationship thing, especially the chatting up thing, and if you throw alcohol into the mix I’m shite and maudlin.
Arse, arse, arse, arse. arse.
I suppose the Gulf War Drinking Game was inevitable but I’d advise people not to play it. By my estimate if you watch a press briefing whilst playing you’ll be dead from alcohol poisoning before the end and watching Sky News for more than 10 minutes will cause lasting organ damage.
What is it about Americans and Doughnuts (read as “Donuts” if you’re the subject). Especially American cops?
Off to Edinburgh for a day or two next week. Might meet somebody like Tony Blair, but then again I may meet somebody important like the great John O himself. Alternatively, I might end up getting seriously mashed. But that doesn’t preclude the other two, just makes for more interesting blogs afterwards.
Odd sense of English. “Alternatively” shouldn’t really work in the sentence above since you can only have two alternatives. “Optionally” didn’t sound right, due to other connotations, which imply I could or couldn’t do it. It doesn’t really accept the hand of fate (nor alcohol) in getting drunk.
As for it being Monday, it’s one of the better days.
Well, my vow to give up alcohol after my birthday lasted all the way until yesterday. Oh well. Maybe I’ll give up if the price rises as much as forecast.
On Sunday I’m going to start a period of abstention, and not just because I’ll be hungover after my birthday. On Monday, if I’m up to it, I’ll start cycling to work. All of this healthy activity doesn’t mean I’ve given in to the body image fascists. I long ago decided I’d fare better if people judged me on my ability and nature rather than crumpled shirts or expanding waistline.
I’m cycling because I can (and because if I leave it too much longer I’ll be so out of shape that I can’t) and it’s cheaper and faster than a bus or car. I’m giving up alcohol because it aggravates the ulcer and I’m going to restart my medication. Losing a little weight and being fitter can only help.
Now, if I can just persuade Daz to stop putting chilli in everything I might just be able to beat the little bastard growling in my guts.
(This is my first post by e-mail, so apologies if the format is weird. I’ll fix it later.)
on edit- Boy did it do wierd things to the format
Boddingtons have recalled a batch of their draughtflow cans after cleaning fluid got into the batch of beer. A spokesman said there were no health risks, but the beer might taste a little strange and unpleasant.
Do I need to tell you the punch line to this one? No, I didn’t think so.
Elephants drunk on rice beer went on a rampage in Northeast India, killing six.
UMIST Rag Beerfest Guess where I’ll be next week.
It was a lot like a school disco, but with alcohol. Sabs even went up to the woman I was staring at, pointed at me and said “My friend fancies you.” (or words to that effect) Didn’t work, sadly.
In amongst the big box o’ stuff I had delivered from home were several copies of Deadline. The one from June 1993 had a questionnaire in it. I thought I’d go back over it and do a then and now (on the non Deadline ones, seeing as it’s not around any more)-
1 Are you
Now- Still Male (who’d have thought?)
2 How old are you?
N- Old enough to know better
3 Are You?
N- Still Desperate
T- Employed full time- University sabbatical officer
N- Employed full time (for the next fortnight)- IT thingummy
5 Where do you live?
6 Where do you live?
T- Rented house/ flat
N- Rented house/ flat (but this one’s not a share)
7 Who would you prefer to sleep with? (from a list of Glyn Dillon/ Keanu Reeves/ Our sad ad manager/ Winona Ryder/ Neither- my girlfriend, boyfriend, dog would freak)
T- Winona Ryder
N- Winona Ryder
8 How often do you go to the following-
T- Cinema (sometimes), Pub (once a week or more), Club (once a week or more), comic shop (once a month), record shop (once a month)
N- Cinema (once a month), Pub (once a week or less), Club (sometimes), Restaurant (sometimes), Comic shop (once a week), Record shop (once a week)
9 Which magazines do you read? (from a list)
N- NME, 2000AD, Judge Dredd megazine, Fortean Times
10 What do you own?
T- Stereo, Walkman, Bicycle, Deadline T-shirt
N- Stereo, Discman, Video, DVD player, Bicycle (*2), Console (PS2), PC
11 Average monthly spend on-
T- Singles (nowt), Albums (under �10), CDs (nothing), Blank tapes (�5-10), Clothes (under �25), Shoes (something), Comics (Under �5), Computer games (nothing), Alcohol (�25-50),
N- Singles [CD](�10+), Albums (nothing), CDs (�12-25), Blank tapes (nothing), Clothes (under �25), Shoes (something), Comics (face it, I’m a sad bastard), Computer games (�40+), Alcohol (�25-50)
12 What do you drink?
T- Bitter, Cocktails, Soft Drinks
N- Bitter, Lager, Spirits, Mineral Water, Soft Drinks
13 Do you smoke?
So, nine years on and it looks like things haven’t changed much, or they’ve just come full circle. I have more to spend, don’t go out as much and Winon Ryder is still cute.
Another lost weekend, but this one’s down to video games and apathy more than alcohol. Truth be told, I’m a little pissed off with myself. There’s so much I want to do, and I just don’t. Or if I do something, I won’t be able to fully enjoy it because I’ll be thinking about the things I should have been doing instead. AAAAAAGH!
Friday’s, Saturday’s and today’s pics are finally up, and you’ll notice a bit of Spring cleaning has been done.
Yesterday’s pic. And today’s.
Holiday’s almost over. I still keep bottling out of frontside turns and put a little too much weight on the back foot, but I am way better than when I got out here.
I now own a chocolate fondue thingy, snowboarding Action Man, scale piste basher (or Preparatore Piste Bully as it says on the pack) and one of almost every comics magazine published in France this month [including the rude ones, except for ‘Bede SM’- not my style]. I reckon the fondue’ll be the hardest thing to get through customs- they have a special ‘Kitsch to declare’ line at the new Liverpool airport.
I am off alcohol until at least the 15th of February (supposed leaving date) and I have to start practising for the Bogle Roll. 75-125 miles on a bike, in a day, past Bury and Bolton. And, as it’s in March probably in the rain as well.
And I’ve got to start eating healthily as well……….