A few of the most expensive things on Ebay today

Nine million pounds will get you a hideous painting entitled “King Barack

Six million will get you “Best of British“, a “pisse” of art painted with the artist’s dick. In their defence, half of the sale will go to Cancer Research.

Real art costs a lot less, with a Dali lithograph selling for just over a million pounds.

In the Antiques section fifteen grand gets you a Russian orthodox wooden painted icon.

The most expensive book is a first edition of The Hobbit at eight thousand pounds.

Two hundred and forty grand will get you a catamaran. two point four million secures an Aerocar, or sixty grand will get you a decommissioned Sea Harrier.

And that’s just the first few categories. Does anyone want to lend me six million so I can own a pisse of art?

Creepy EBay stuff – what's so gaily interesting about smelly trainers?

I like browsing through the “Other” section of EBay, because it brings to light interesting stuff such as male chastity devices. Today’s bizarre find is even harder to understand. What, really, would be the gay interest in smelly trainers, especially scally ones.

Enlighten us, but don’t make us go too Eeeeeewwww!