List

The Sarcastic Sex Toy Blog

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It’s a blog. About sex toys. And it’s sarcastic. Erm……

Consider it a list of features you don’t want in a sex toy.

Review: Fist of Adonis

The Fist of Adonis is notable in that it is not immediately identifiable by most people as a sex toy at all. It looks more like a prop for a low-budget horror film; strew a few of these and an occasional disembodied vagina on your front lawn, bring out the fake blood, and you have the beginning of a direct-to-video release.

The Fist of Adonis is a life-size rubber hand and arm.

That’s it.

The description reads:

“Made to feel like the real thing. Crafted from an actual human hand, it is made of firm rubber. We recommend lubricant.”

Yes, “we recommend lubricant.” Because once you lube this puppy up and insert it into the body cavity of your choice, ecstasy will surely ensue!

via Fleshbot

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All8

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A kind soul has put together a list of all the available Live8 videos you can download. I’m working my way down it. Apart from the moments Bill Gates was cheered onstage I didn’t see any of the event (at least not with sound, it was on in a pub we went to that night, but the cheese on the house speakers drowned out The Who.)

via Screenhead

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Those sites of legend

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A list of High Traffic Linkers, all of whom I’m keeping in mind for future pimping (when I get back to making silly videos etc.). I’ve been linked by BoingBoing as the footnote to a story and the resultant spike was nice and I got a few Kudos clicks to How to Save the World for Free last week for sending them a link. My most consistent long term source of links is Fleshbot. Sex sells, who’d have thought.

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This is Dedicated to the Girls of the Nite

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Harris’ List of Covent Garden Ladies was a sort of 18th century guide to the best prostitutes, supposedly written by th notorious head waiter at the Shakespear’s Head, John Harrison. However, a historian has examined the book and discovered it was actually authored by a drunken poet by the name of Samuel Derrick.

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Rentals

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I’ve signed up for Amazon’s new DVD rental service. The list of DVDs lined up for me to watch is-

Touching The Void
Outfoxed
Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse
The Village
The Fog Of War
Infernal Affairs
Underworld
The Corporation
My Architect
Tirez Sur Le Pianiste
Man On Fire
Before Sunrise / Before Sunset
Cypher
American Splendor
Ghost World
Lone Wolf And Cub
Zatoichi
Hana-Bi

At four a month that’s nearly five months, unless I get excited and raise it to the six a month version.

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Going Organic

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I would like to say Casa Spinneyhead is trying to eat more organically. But to be honest, 50% of Casa Spinneyhead is going “What’s for dinner, Ian?” and only 50% is making any actual decisions.

We’ve been buying from Northern Harvest for the last couple of weeks and so far we’re impressed with the food. (It’s going better than last time we tried – I can’t remember the company but we ended up with a very large quantity of potatoes and hence potatoes boiled, mashed, fried, roasted etc at every meal. That got boring after a few weeks.)

Given that I am roughly in favour of going organic, I found a useful list that shows which items are most important to buy organically.

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Digested reads

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Just finished Gangland, an interesting history of twentieth century British crime, if a little infodump-ish in the amount of data on every page.

Started Fast Food Nation, sort of a literary companion to Supersize Me.

Next on the must read list is probably 1421: The year China discovered the world (but don’t tell Emily, because it’s actually her book.)

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A sort of manifesto

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So, after a longish post lambasting Creationism and Intelligent Design, this morning I found anti-evolution Google ads on Spinneyhead. They’re gone (you can filter out URLs of places you don’t want to be associated with, this has previously been used on sites selling Dubya blow up dolls or somesuch). If mentioning the subject again brings me more I’ll stomp on them as well.

Perhaps I should detail some of the things Spinneyhead likes, so the ads will be targetted properly. Snowboarding’s cool. It’s on my list of a hundred things to do. The last time I was on a snowboard was in January 2002, so I really need a dry slope to open nearer Manchester where I can take a few lessons.

Real Ale. You should know that Spinneyhead likes real ale after the beer fest related posts and pictures. Having said which, there’s a lot of Stella in my parents’ pantry and I’m not too proud….

Cool technology. Almost all technology is cool. One day I’ll be able to buy all the shiny toys I desire. Mobile phone technology in particular, but you really want to go to my-videophone for that.

Peace love and understanding. What’s so wrong with that? Especially as it’s Christmas.

Bikes. Cannondale, Marin, Trek, Orange. Actually, I’d really like a Raleigh Chopper, just for old times sake.

And, of course, sheep. How could I not mention sheep.

Fewer Things

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I’ve decided that it could get a bit depressing always having 100 things to aspire to. So far I’ve always added new goals to the 100 Things list every time I crossed one off. But I’m finding it hard to think up new aims. The last new one- Make love with a cheerleader– was a little silly. (I’m not saying I wouldn’t do it, it’d be fun. Silly, but fun.) So, until the list comes down to a manageable level, I’m not going to replenish it.

Seventy

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So, another thing crossed off the 100 things list. I’ll consult with my model before posting the results to the gallery, so you’ll just have to take my word for it for now.

I’d like to do a Hockney style photo-collage, if anyone’s interested in standing or sitting still for that long. It’d be a full 360, so I could try to make one of those QTVR panorama shots from it.

On the sex toy front it seems that all the development is being done for me by third partys. Wired’s sex editor does a quick review and concludes that the really interesting developments are being made in products for men.

Affiliation

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Time for another look at the buying/clicking habits of all you good people.

This is getting to be quite a list, I think I’m only going to do it through to the end of the year and then find a more compact report/ feedback thing.

Shipped

Gareth McConnell

Going Postal (Discworld S.)

The Battle of Corrin (Legends of Dune S.)

The Wishsong of Shannara (The Shannara Series)

Where Did It All Go Right?: Growing Up Normal In the 70s

The Essence of Happiness: A Guidebook for Living

The Little Book of Wisdom

Always Outnumbered Never Outgunned

Unwritten

Pentax Optio 33LF Digital Camera [3MP 3xOptical]

Coupling: Series 4 [2000]

The Adam And Joe Show

THX 1138 – (Two Disc Special Edition) [1970]

Superman [1978]

Orders

Going Postal (Discworld S.)

Knights of Madness

Mammoth Book of Seriously Comic Fantasy (Mammoth)

The Essence of Happiness: A Guidebook for Living

The First King of Shannara (Prequel to the Shannara Series)

The Flying Sorcerers

The Little Book of Wisdom

The Mammoth Book of Awesome Comic Fantasy

The Pillars of Creation (Gollancz SF S.)

The Wishsong of Shannara (The Shannara Series)

The Wizards of Odd: Comic Tales of Fantasy

Where Did It All Go Right?: Growing Up Normal In the 70s

Destiny Fulfilled

Franz Ferdinand

Gold Diggas Head Nodders & Pholk Songs

Pentax Optio 33LF Digital Camera [3MP 3xOptical]

Harry Potter Six Disc Box Set: The Philosopher’s Stone / The Chamber of Secrets / The Prisoner of Azkaban

Superman [1978]

The Ultimate Matrix Collection (Ten Disc Set)

Click Throughs

The first two make an interesting combination. Pretty much sums up the Spinneyhead phiolosophy- sex and violence sell well.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas – 36

THE PEARL: The Classic Magazine of Victorian Erotica Vol. I– 23

Donnie Darko – Director’s Cut (Two Disc Set) [2001] – 14

Northern Soul Memories Vol.1 – 13

Worzel Gummidge – Series 1 [1979] – 12

Around the Sun [Digipak] – 12

Debbie Does Dallas [1979] – 11

A Taste Of Honey [1961] – 11

Fahrenheit 9/11 – 11

Wave of Mutilation – The Best of the Pixies – 10

Complete Superman Collection [4 Discs] (REGION 1) (NTSC) – 9

Prime Suspect 1-5 [1991] – 9

Future Dictionary of America – 8

Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude (PC) – 8

Complete Buffy Collector’s Edition Box Set (Series 1-7) – 8

Story of O – 7

Golddiggas, Headnodders & Pholk Songs – 7

Another Education: AND Ruby Red – 7

Heathers [1989] – 7

Trigger Happy TV – 7

Punisher [1990] (REGION 1) (NTSC) – 6

Burnout 3: Takedown (PS2) – 6

The Passive Solar House: Using Solar Design to Heat and Cool Your Home– 5

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time: Adult Edition– 4

The Very Breast of Russ Meyer (Ultra Screen) – 4

Friends – Series 1 Box Set – 4

Shrek 2 [2004] – 4

Troy [2004] – 4

Postal 2: Share the Pain 2in1 Combo (PC) – 4

The Ultimate Matrix Collection (Ten Disc Set) [1998] – 4

The Adam And Joe Show – 4

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (Platinum) – 4

El Mariachi / Desperado / Once Upon A Time In Mexico [2003]– 4

Valley Of The Dolls / Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls [1967]– 4

Medieval: Total War – 4

Greatest Hits – 4

The Whole House Book: Ecological Building Design and Materials (New Futures) – 4

Imperial Hubris: Why the West Is Losing the War on Terror – 4

Notes on Book Design – 3

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents – 3

Will They Ever Trust Us Again?: Letters from the War Zone to Michael Moore– 3

Miles Aircraft (Archive Photographs S.) – 3

Starting an Internet Business at Home: How to Make Easy Money from the Web– 3

Sony DCR-VX2100E Professional Digital Camcorder – 3

American Pie: The Threesome (Trilogy Box Set) [2003] – 3

The Punisher – 3

The Best of Bowie – 3

PWEI Product 1986-1994: The Pop Will Eat Itself Anthology– 3

The War Of The Worlds [1954] – 3

Faster Pussycat Kill…Kill – Russ Meyer’s DD-Lights 10 [1966]– 3

Back in the Dhss/the Trumpton Riots Ep – 3

30 Something – 3

I Robot (Collector’s Two Disc Edition) [2004] – 3

Shaun of the Dead (Limited edition sleeve design exclusive to Amazon.co.uk) [2004] – 3

London Calling – 25th Anniversary Edition [2CD + DVD] – 3

Escape From Rubbish Island – 3

Jersey Girl – 3

Punisher [2004] (REGION 1) (NTSC) – 3

THX 1138 – (Two Disc Special Edition) [1970] – 3

Coupling: Series 4 [2000] – 3

Sheep for Beginners – 3

The Lord of Lawn Sports

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Tim sent me a link to the rules of croquet and wondered why there had been so little news on the 100 Things front.

Mostly, the break in achievements is down to a simple lack of money. Very few of the goals can be achieved without some outlay. There’s also the matter of going back to school and the annual onset of what I swear is SAD as the nights draw in.

However, I have been sowing seeds as part of the guerilla gardening (no. 103). That won’t be deemed complete until things start sprouting in Spring. The initial phase of the music video (almost a film- no. 13) is under way- I have promises of equipment, several possible locations and some software to learn. I may change 99- Publish a cook book- to Publish a book of photos to encourage the grafitti and signage project along. However, one of the briefs for the second year of the course is to layout a cookbook in Quark. I guess that’s part way there.

Number 97 is Get as close as possible to an active volcano. I’m edging more and more toward just relying on the Mount St Helens webcam. I found the cam on blogdex, and getting into its top 100 is still on the list. Popdex, however, seems to have ground to a halt and only lists ten things, so perhaps I won’t aim that high. I’ll try for blogsnow instead. I wore my Must Not Mention Sheep T shirt to the ‘Stuff concert. Didn’t pull, but at least I was trying.

Overall, work on the list is continuing, if a little low key. Now, if any ladies would like to pose naked or get it on in a hammock, please get in touch.

Comrades

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We really do have these conversations in Casa Spinneyhead. A week or so ago, we started considering titles for great Communist sitcoms. Today, we set to brainstorming and have an initial list. In the order we thought of them-

Comrades

Only Fools and Capitalists

Last of the Potato Vodka

Yes, Secretary General

The Good Communal Life

Auf Wiedershein, Comrade

The Fall and Rise of Leon Trotsky

Red Adder

The Brezhnev Empire

Mikhail Gorbachev’s Flying Circus

Osipovka

Little Red Books

Are You Being Collectivised?

Carry On Up The Kremlin

To The Dacha Born

It Ain’t ‘alf Cold War, Mum

People’s Army

More to follow, I’m sure.

Around The Sun

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REM’s new album, out October 4th.

Other interesting looking forthcoming music related items-

This week-

Out of Nothing, Embrace

Raw, The Ramones

Singles Box 2: 1986-1995, Duran Duran

Next Week-

Teenage Mojo Workout, The 5, 6, 7, 8s

Welcome to the North, The Music

London Calling – 25th Anniversary Edition, The Clash

Solarized, Ian Brown

October 4th-

Palookaville, Fatboy Slim

Once More With Feeling – The Singles Collection, Placebo

Gold Diggas Head Nodders & Pholk Songs, Beautiful South

I know I’ve ranted against buying from the major labels before, but there’s a special dispensation if you do it from this list and I get commission. (Yes, I know that sounds hypocritical. I prefer to consider it nuanced.)