Movie

The Dead Code

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I watched WarGames: The Dead Code last night. I think the best word to sum it up is unnecessary. Replacing nuclear holocaust with bioterrorism and WOPR with RIPLEY it follows almost exactly the same arc as the original film, right down to a virtual replay of the ending.

All this film did was make me want to watch the original again. It’s WarGames‘ 25th anniversary this year. If you can play Region 1 discs there’s a 25th Anniversary edition coming out soon. Wired talked to some of the people involved in WarGames, including the scriptwriters, director John Badham and geek crush Ally Sheedy.

The Dis from Brazil

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Extrapolating from a conversation last night.

There must have been enough genetic material to be swept up from the Parisian tunnel that someone could have got a decent bit of DNA from it. Replicate that, stick it in a few dozen eggs and set yourself up with a baby farm somewhere in South America (or certain parts of eastern Europe, where they’d be even less obvious) and wait. Then, in 2016, when they’ve all turned 18 break out the bowl cuts and let your army of simpering blondes loose to be bedded by older toffs, rugby players and cads. They will also steal the hearts of Britain whilst you carry out your nefarious deeds unnoticed. We won’t even have Gregory Peck around to sniff out the conspiracy.

(2012 would make a more dramatic year for them to be released, what with the Mayan calendar ending and the London Olympics, but they’d only be 14 and that’s wrong.)

(There’s a listing in imdb for The Boys From Brazil due 2009, but no information. What’s the betting it’s yet another unnecessary remake?)

Who watches

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The Watchmen trailer. By all accounts it’s going to be absolutely faithful to the graphic novel, and watching the trailer I could guess where most of the shots fitted into the comic. And that will be rather spectacular and lovely, but also a bit disappointing. I know there isn’t as massive a history in superhero movies as Moore and Gibbons had to draw from in comics, but there could be room for a film that examined that in its medium the same way they did in theirs.

(A convoluted way of saying yes, of course I’m going to watch it, I just wish they could come up with something a bit more original.)

Buy the Watchmen graphic novel on Amazon.

Trailer time- oriental oddness edition

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There haven’t been any trailers worth highlighting for a few weeks, but just today I’ve seen nearly a dozen. Rather than one big trailer time post on Sunday I think I’ll spread them over a few days.

A selection of movies from the orient first.

A Tale of Legendary Libido.

Tokyo Gore Police. By the people behind Machine Girl, who seem to be keeping Japan’s fake blood industry afloat all by themselves.

Wushu, starring Sammo Hung.

Shaolin Girl, a spin off from Shaolin Soccer.

Onechanbara. Bikini girls versus the undead.

Crank 2? Hell yes!

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There’s going to be a Crank 2. We loved Crank in casa Spinneyhead. It was an insane, surreal, over the top film that managed to get away with breaking loads of rules. I’d have thought the ending ruled out a sequel, but I’m sure they’ll find some way around it that makes no sense but doesn’t matter.

And I’d like to quickly mention Shoot ‘Em Up, another mad movie that skirted the boundaries of plot sense and was incredibly entertaining because of it as well.

Crooked Features

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A few weeks ago I received the Crooked Features DVD AKA ‘The Making of “Attack ofthe Clowns”‘. It’s a low budget mockumentary about the making of a low budget movie. Whilst the humour was a bit too much from the Office school for me to like it had its moments.

Rod Shuffler is a seasoned porn director- the number of films he claims to have made goes up as the film progresses- who wants to make a mainstream film and/or win a best film award at the SHAFTAs rather than yet another LIfetime Achievement gong. However his efforts are stymied by his use of his usual cast and crew, though with a new leading lady, and the funder Mr. Barclays threats of dire consequences if there are no sex scenes.

The film follows an obvious trajectory through casting, location shoots and rewrites toward the final orgy scene that you know isn’t going to happen and a somewhat anti-climactic “let’s just shoot the film we always meant to” ending. It would have worked better for me if it had been less like an attempt to do The Office meets Boogie Nights, but that’s personal taste. Still it’s worthy try, on a fraction of the budget of I Want Candy.

Trailer time

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Place of honour in this week’s trailer round up must go to-

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Admiral Kolchak. Biopic of a Russian admiral in the early twentieth century.

The Bank Job. “Based on real events”, the tale of a still unsolved heist planned to cover up the theft of incriminating photos of a member of the Royal family (Princess Anne I think).

Love Songs. A very French musical about a menage a trois.

My Girlfriend is a Cyborg. !!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????

The Happening. M. Night Shyamalan does the end of the world, complete with requisite “They’re abandoning New York” sequence. I’m beginning to feel sorry for Manhattan, why can’t the end of the world start in Dudley for a change?

The Forbidden Kingdom. Jet Li and Jackie Chan in a martial arts fantasy. I’m in.

The Machine Girl

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It’s got ninjas! Revenge! Dismemberment! Lots and lots of blood! What more could we want?

The Machine Girl. The trailer’s bloodier than the average action film.

It looks like the sort of film that would join our Monday night crap film list, alongside the likes of The Ultimate Ninja, TNT Jackson and tonight’s event- Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold