Tweets today

22:28 Blog: Is there any Jesus slash fiction? #

22:28 Blog: Tweets today #

09:25 Coca cola is not plant food. #

17:31 @Kalyr Actually I think the policemen are getting shorter. It must be all teh PCSOs #

20:29 Blog: RIP Paul Newman #

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Is there any Jesus slash fiction?

People will tell me I’m going to hell for even thinking about this, but that’s the way my mind works.

Tweets today

22:23 @SkippyUK Picked up a Maplin minibook today. May cancel my Elonex order. Or may not, keep the accessories and sell the computer. We’ll see #

22:27 Blog: Tweets today #

12:26 I’m going to an outdoor gig tomorrow. Maybe all the rain will fall today. #

16:29 Blog: I’m looking for an artist to work on a phone comic #

18:16 Win your football dream with Adidas. I dream of less football coverage. It’s a stupid sport. #

19:01 Jesus loves you more than I do. #

19:53 I’m still looking for someone to take my spare fusion ticket for tomorrow. Any takers? #

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Sweet baby Jesus

The baby Jesus in the nativity scene on St Ann’s Square has been dollnapped. The figurine was replaced with a rose.

LAst time I was in St Ann’s Square everyone in teh nativity seemed to have got drunk and fallen over. As security has now been increased perhaps I shouldn’t leave a bot in front of it.

In another nativity scene stunt last year, the figures were put in compromising positions.

Manchester council spokesman Pat Karney said: “I’m shocked and horrified. What kind of a world are we living in when someone will steal the baby Jesus out of the Christmas crib?

“I thought I’d seen everything last year when someone re-arranged the figures into compromising positions, but this has surprised even me.”

I can't stand the things that they do to me

If all the people in the world camped out in your back garden
Would you write and tell the king or would you grab a tent and join em
I can see that all the possibilities for freedom
Could just sway your first decision to subject them all to oblivion
And do you feel your life is threatened by fabricated stories
Dreamt up by the sons of campers that you killed back in the forties
I could see that all the possibilities for conflict
Could just back up your decision to subject them all to oblivion

I can’t stand the things that they do to me
I won’t wait for jesus to prove to me

When all the people in the world move out of your back garden
Would you celebrate the passing of your life as mr badman
You could see that all the possibilities in peacetime
Should force a new decision don’t subject them all to oblivion

I can’t stand the things that they do to me
I won’t wait for jesus to prove to me
I can’t stand the things that they do to me
I won’t wait for jesus to prove to me

Oh goodness my gracious I hope it’s not contagious
Although it seems it’s catching it’s best not to get careless
Oh goodness my gracious I hope it’s not contagious
Although it seems its catching its best not to get careless

Oblivion – Terrorvision

Say it with flowers

The Christmas cards and greetings are arriving
across the shifty sands to the war
By the time I get to read them she’ll be rising
to a 50/50 chance and nothing more

Through the sleet and drizzle
you can hear the sounds of soldiers
The Kalashnikov and splutter
on a sunny day
From the East of middle
to the North and South of nowhere
People earn their bread and butter
in some funny ways

Meanwhile . .
In the corridors of power
where the talks are in full swing
if you can’t say it with flowers
then don’t say anything

Because I want to see my children
grow up into healthy human beings
I want to see them walking, running.
playing, laughing and singing

In the corridors of power
where the talks are in full swing
if you can’t say it with flowers
then don’t say anything

I’m just outside the home of Christmas now
and I’m dying
A across the shifty sands there’s blood and guts
By the time I get to Jesus she’ll still be crying
I guess a 50/50 chance wasn’t good enough

(Say it with flowers – Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine)

My favourite band for three minutes

We live in the dullest state
Package stores all close at eight
Malls are full of optometrists
And restaurants we hate
Swimming across Lake Quassapaug
Stealing makeup, catching frogs
Cutting our feet on broken bottles
As we wade in the Shepaug
It’s true for horses, cows and dogs…

Connecticut’s for fucking
That’s all there is to do.
I love to listen to classic rock
and have sex with you.

Doing hole shots at the mall
Writing Ozzy on a wall
Watch the corn get tall
There’s nothing else to do at all.

Goin’ where we always go
Doin’ what we always do
Waitin’ to turn into the people
We are bound to turn into.
What else do other people do?

Connecticut’s for fucking
It’s the Nutmeg state
If we can’t afford to buy antiques
then we just copulate

Connecticut’s for fucking
And Massachusetts too
I want to climb up the sleepy giant
and have sex with you.

Up in Fairfield
In Old Lyme
We’re just fucking all the time.
Out in Derby
Down in Kent
We’re all busy getting bent
In the Constitution State.

Connecticut’s for fucking
While we’re waiting to
Turn into the people
everyone here turns into.

Connecticut’s for fucking.
There’s nothing else to do.
I wanna listen to classic rock and have sex with you.

We all love to fuck in Connecticut.
We’re all getting fucked in Connecticut.
Let’s fuck!

CONNECTICUT’S FOR FUCKING – Jesus H Christ and the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse

Don't tell Dan Brown

Jesus’ tomb? James Cameron has bankrolled research for a documentary that claims to reveal the last resting place of Jesus Christ, Mary Magdalene and their son Judah. The ossuaries containing the bodies were found in teh 1980s, but only recently have the scientific tools been developed to investigate them properly. Plus, after The Da Vinci Code and Holy Blood and Holy Grail the public is far more gullible about this sort of thing.

American Jesus

Writing avoidance is in full effect. I’m ripping all of my albums to MP3 and drinking a lot of tea.

However, this can just about qualify as being related to what I’m planning to write for NaNoWriMo. The USA In Bible Prophecy: The Foundation on which the Answers for Today will come to Light!. I’ve decided to do a silly allegory about Global Wierding, how the increase in belief in the supernatural and denigrating of science is speeding up a break down of reality. I get to have elves and imps and The Rapture whilst making fun of the sort of people who believe in them- cake had and eaten. This book is a prime example of the sort of nonsense I’ll be taking pot shots at.

Did Christ know of this North American Continent? … Sure he did. Did He know this great nation would be Christian from its beginning? … Of course he did. Is it possible that this nation, the greatest Christian super power of all time, known to Jesus Christ, was never mentioned, indicated, or foretold in the Bible?

Many Christians today have not been exposed to what our forefathers believed and understood. Whether through God’s purposeful blindness or due to modern-day revisionists intense desire to rewrite our Christian American history, the fact remains, we have lost our true identity, our heritage, our Israel roots. It’s time our people awakened from their sleep and learn not only their true history but also their destiny that is unfolding, even now, according to God’s Divine Plan.

This book clearly shows that America (Zion) is the land set aside by God Almighty to be the place of regathered Israel. Sermons and documents by the Founding Fathers testify to their belief that they were the Israel people of the latter days, and that the Old Testament prophecies were being fulfilled in their undertakings. It would be wise for us who are living in these last days to take a closer look at the past generations of our great nation to relearn what they knew about America’s critical role in Bible prophecy.

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I can't imagine the world without me

At the last funeral I attended the coffin was taken out of the church to Barcelona by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballe. I haven’t heard it since, but I’d probably still get a lump in the throat.

The top ten funeral songs has been released.

1 Goodbye my Lover, James Blunt
2 Angels, Robbie Willams
3 I’ve had the Time of my Life, Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley
4 Wind Beneath my Wings, Bette Midler
5 Pie Jesu, Requiem
6 Candle in the Wind, Elton John
7 With or Without You, U2
8 Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton
9 Every breath you Take, The Police
10 Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers

My personal choice would probably be I Can’t Imagine The World Without Me by Echobelly a stonking “fuck you” to mortality and a call to make the most of your life. Frankly, the funeral isn’t for the deceased, it’s for the ones they’ve left behind, and I’d want to remind them to stop moping and get out there and enjoy the fact that they’re still alive.

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Manchester Passion

It’s taken almost as much work to get the video online as editing it together. If the embedded video above doesn’t work, try watching it at the YouTube site. I’m trying it now and the download speed is a bit slow. You might want to pause the playback and go away to do something else for a little while.

We went to the Thirsty Scholar to meet up and have a drink before going to Albert Square (not the best idea as we then stood around for two hours). When we walked in the jukebox was playing “Sympathy for the Devil”. Somehow that didn’t make it into the show’s play list.

The only real disappointment was in the sing-along-a-encore, when Tim Booth’s microphone failed and he was singing “Sit Down” but we couldn’t hear him. Though we managed quite loud choruses by ourselves.


Ickle took several photos and reckons he found himself in the TV footage.

Stephen Newton has a review and a couple of moblogged shots.

Piccadilly Wilson thought it was great.

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What would Jesus shoplift?

More than 3.5 million people have admitted shoplifting in the past five years, according to new research. What do they take?

That’s £13million worth of thefts, which is probably less than an average Saturday’s profit. What do they take? “Top of the list are razor blades, according to the research. Followed by cosmetics, alcohol, toiletries, lingerie, CDs and DVDs.”

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