sex

World Cup fever or really bad branding?

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The Scoregasm I Love England World Cup Remote Control 10 Speed Love Egg. I’m not sure what the message is meant to be with this particular promotion- “He’s going to be no use to you when England’s playing” or “Look, a way for women to get excited about football!”

I shall be avoiding the World Cup as much as possible, but I doubt I’ll be using a sex toy to do it.

Are small breasts illegal in Australia now?

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Australia’s government seems to be going through some sort of moral panic at the moment. This press release from the Australian Sex Party details new and dumb restrictions on the content of adult material. Depictions of female ejaculation are to be banned, presumably because someone- like Queen Victoria and lesbians- doesn’t believe it really happens. (TMI, but I’m confident I’ve seen it in real life. Not as spectacular as porn would have you believe, but definitely not urine and something more than mere lubrication.)

Another, even dumber, crackdown is on models with smaller breasts. The Sex Party asserts that material featuring models with A cups is being restricted because, somehow, it’ll excite paedophiles.

I just read 25, 000 Years of Erotic Freedom by Alan Moore, which is basically a long essay on the history of smut with ample illustrations and gorgeous packaging. One of his conclusions is that the state of the eortic arts in the English speaking world (actualy he just calls out Britain and the US, but I think we can add Australia now) is so awful precisely because of the efforts our governments make to restrict discussion of sex.

There’s too much low quality, demeaning and insulting (to both sexes) porn out there, and it’s not because there’s too much freedom. It’s because many of the people who would create interesting, challenging, life affirming, sex positive and gorgeous work are scared off by the threats of censorship and worse. By saying that one aspect of women’s sexual experience is too vile to be discussed and that a particular body type (a body type I prefer- I’m Not Safe For Australia) shouldn’t be seen, Australia’s government are doing great harm and little, if any, good.

Right. I’m off to draw a page of comic art which may be illegal in Australia.

via BoingBoing Ms Naughty and several other sources

The Female Gaze

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From research we’ve learnt that what most women find erotic does not at all match what is typically thought of as an erotic image of a man designed for women. For example, on average, women prefer:

* men who are not muscle-bound
* men with more feminine face shapes
* men with attractive faces
* images that show the subject’s character and the environment he is in.

We also know that women’s tastes vary quite a lot, and we aim to cater to that variety too.

I should consider this for future erotic comickery, as I want to make stuff that works as well for women as it does for men. This is taken from the site of Filament magazine, which I learnt about through Warren Ellis’ blog about the problems they’re having with printers.

Explicit images of women are available at any newsagent, but Filament, the world’s only magazine featuring male pictorials designed for the female gaze, is finding itself between a rock and a hard place when it comes to printing explicit images of men.

Filament only prints explicit images when these are of high photographic and erotic quality, and clearly designed for women – we won’t ever be putting hard cocks on every page. The problem is, all the printers that a small, independent magazine like Filament can afford have said they won’t print images of the male of the species in a state of obvious arousal. Reasons given include that printing these images may cause offence to ‘women’s groups’.

If they get enough pre-orders they’ll be able to take their magazine to a printer that does larger runs and is less squeamish. You can support them here.

St. Peter’s Beard

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Because I -promised to look it up, here’s a brief history of merkins from Wikipedia–

A merkin (first use, according to the OED, 1617) is a pubic wig, originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia to eliminate lice or disguise the marks of syphilis. Also many women used them so they didn’t have to hide the fact that they had shaved their genitalia. There are many different ways of wearing a merkin, although most involve placing the merkin on the vulva or the scrotum.

The term is also applied to decorative (typically sequinned) patches commonly sold in sets with nipple tassels or “pasties” and are enjoying new popularity as part of the costume of new burlesque adult entertainment.

In American cinema, merkins are currently used in films where they are worn by actors and actresses to prevent inadvertent exposure of the genitalia during nude or semi-nude scenes. If no merkin were worn, it would be necessary to restrict the shot to exclude the genital area; with the merkin in place brief flashes of the crotch can be used if necessary. The presence of the merkin protects the actor from inadvertently performing ‘full-frontal’ nudity (their contract may specifically require that nipples and genitals be covered in some way), and can help ensure that the film achieves a more “acceptable” MPAA rating.

Houghton Mifflin’s American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition describes the term’s etymology as stemming from an “alteration of obsolete malkin, lower-class woman, mop, from Middle English; from Malkin, diminutive of the personal name Matilda.”

It has also been suggested that, in the period when male actors played female parts, they would cover their genitals with a merkin so they could expose themselves as women in bawdy scenes.

A “short and curly history of the merkin” in The Guardian provided a partial history of the merkin. It highlighted “comedy terrorist” Aaron Barschak’s flashing of a merkin to onlookers.

The Oxford Companion to the Body dates the origin of the pubic wig back to 1450, claiming that women would shave their pubic hair and wear a merkin to combat pubic lice, and that prostitutes would wear them to cover up signs of disease. This book also mentions the tale of one man that gave a cardinal of the Catholic Church a merkin that he had acquired from a prostitute and then combed and dried. He claimed it was St. Peter’s beard.

Be Your Own Valentine

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New at Etsy, two Be Your Own Valentine cards. The outside is simple enough-

But open it to reveal one of these two images-

They can be read either way- sex positive celebration of being single or “I’m really not that into you, try this.” Order them now to get them in time for Valentine’s Day.

Update A variation on the design is now available on Cafe Press. It’s available individually, in a 10 pack or in a 20 pack.

Further update Someone at CafePress thinks vibrators may be against their Questionable Material & Prohibited Content Guidelines and those cards aren’t available until they make a decision.

Come on Barbie, let’s go wife swapping

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Jack Ryan, the man who created Barbie and Ken, as well as Hot Wheels and other classic Mattel products, was a very naughty boy. In fact he was “a ‘full blown seventies-style swinger’ who patronised ‘high class call girls to streetwalkers’ in his quest for excitement”. Not that any of that really matters, even if his horniness may have led to Barbie’s impossible physique, it just makes for a silly story.

Let’s talk about sex, baby

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An interesting looking study into “sociosexuality” has tried to explain why different people have different attitudes towards sex and promiscuity and what factors affect those attitudes.

According to Daniel Nettle from the University of Newcastle, UK, the classically promiscuous man will be high in extroversion, low in neuroticism and fairly low in agreeableness as well. “The extroversion gives you the desire to do it,” he says, “the low neuroticism means you don’t worry too much about doing it and the low agreeableness means you don’t really care if you mess someone around or cheat on your wife.” The situation is similar for women, says Nettle, although another factor, openness, comes into the mix to some extent. This makes sense since people who are open to experience are likely to want to explore new relationship possibilities.

The Daily Mail’s take on this- “OMG! THE BRITISH ARE SUCH SLUTS!” And apparently it’s all the fault of female equality and rationalism.

A Christmassy product- ladies, remind your boyfriend or girlfriend to kiss you under the mistletoe

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I know your significant other shouldn’t need any encouragement, but this Christmas give them a hint. A girl always likes to be kissed under the mistletoe.

The Mistletoe Thong is available from CafePress. Order it now and get unwrapped on Christmas Day.

Kinky protesters at Westminster

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Vivienne Westwood’s son, Ben, demonstrated against Government plans to criminalise “extreme pornography” by parading around Westminster with two models in bondage gear and chains. The legisltion does sound quite dumb and will probably be used primarily by Police pissed off that they’ve grought in the wrong man and can’t prove anything else against him.

Uptight? Or out of sight? 2

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We've been discussing the labelling around sexuality, given a silly furore over toilets in Manchester University union and the alphabet soup that GBLT is becoming. One suggestion is splitting people into "uptight" and "alright".
Uptights can't accept any sexuality but their own, alrights understand that other people like other things even if those things are odd or even disgusting. So long as noone's getting hurt who didn't consent and you're not frightening the horses (and you're not dr Doolittle, that horse didn't consent) it really is noone else's business.