Alyson Hannigan


Alyson Hannigan’s Feet

Way back in the early noughties, when Spinneyhead was only a few years old, Alyson Hannigan’s Feet was one of the search terms used to find the site which stuck in the memory. So much so, that it became one of the rotating taglines at the top of the page.

Well, now there is an even better resource for people looking for images of Alyson Hannigan's Feet, and those of many other celebrities. It’s called wikiFeet, and “wikiFeet is a collaborative site for sharing, rating and discussing celebrity feet pictures and videos.”

Off you go, all you celebrity foot fetishists.


The Erotic Adventures of Buffy and Evil Vampire Willow

Joss Whedon and others are doing a neat job bringing us season eight of Buffy as a comic from Dark Horse. There’s one collection out already- Long Way Home, collecting the first 5 issues and No Future For You, a Faith heavy tale, is due in June.

However, before this revamp Anne-Lise and Fox created their own reimagining. The Erotic Adventures of Buffy and Evil Vampire Willow makes smutty fun of storylines from the series as Buffy and alternate universe vampire Willow get it on, keep Angel and Faith chained up in the cupboard and turn Mr Pointy into a vibrator. Alyson Hannigan is an official crush of Spinneyhead, especially as Vampire Willow, so how could I resist this naughty version of her character. The most recent strip seems to be a few years old, but you can hope for new stuff.


Boyfriend Season

“Autumn is boyfriend season. With the nights drawing in and the weather getting worse it’s the right time to have a man to keep you warm and stuff.”

I was with Lauren and Vanessa, a few pints into the night somewhere in Didsbury, when Lauren had dropped this concept into the conversation.

“And in Spring you can dump them because there’s so much else to do.” Vanessa added.

I think I did a guppy impersonation for a while. It was only later that I thought that men are at their horniest in Spring. It’s all sunny and the serotonin levels are rising again. I’d probably have been told that that’s just the way it goes.

———-

Tis the season to be hunted
Important message for the Brotherhood of Single Men!
It’s Boyfriend Season.
They’re after you, be afraid. Be very afraid.
Or let yourself get caught. Whatever.
Posted by Jim at 00:52:34am

———

I really ought to have asked what a boy does to attract attention during the season. Preferably early on. It could be useful information.

I’m not looking for a relationship, but, then again, I’m not not looking. You know how it is. And the sort of relationship I’m not looking for is a long term one. I don’t think I’m wired for one night stands, flings or seasonal affairs.

Unless the right woman suggests it.

So I’m meeting new people, trying to give a good impression to as many women as possible and having conversations about dating to suit the weather. There’s a whole world apart from the geeks I know and love and it’s quite interesting.

Just so long as they don’t ask me to do tech support.

———-

Sue kills mice for a living.

Not, you know, herself, physically. She does have little hands, probably small enough to wring a rodent’s neck if the need arose. There’ll be a fetish site for that sort of thing.

No. Sue formulates the poison that goes into those mouse hotels, or whatever they’re called, the black or brown plastic boxes with little circular doors you see on the exterior walls of cinemas and the like. Her aim is, perversely, to make the tablets less toxic. If she can kill the mouse quickly and have the poison break down there’s less chance of it getting into the food chain.

God help me, but I found this fascinating. So much so that I sought her out after the speed dating session and we talked some more. It helped that she’s cute. Short, slim, very dark hair, pale. Perhaps a little too pale, she does look like someone who spends her days around poisons. In a room full of topped up tans, Rimmell and hair gel her unpainted pretty face drew me.

I didn’t ask for her number. I don’t know what the etiquette is about that, and she didn’t ask me. I ticked her name on the list, however, and hopefully she did the same for me.

———-

The boyfriend season thing’s becoming a meme. I’ve had a couple of comments and a few people have mentioned it in emails. I’m waiting to see how long it takes for someone to tell me it as if they think I don’t already know about it.

In the meantime, the local chapter of the Brotherhood of Single Men is trying to imagine what sorts of lures we could be using.

“Shouldn’t the hunters be the ones using the lures? We are the prey, after all.” Steve observed.

“Ah, they have their feminine wiles to use as lures.” I can’t believe I said that. This is what happens when you drink strange spirits people bring back from holiday.

“T-shirts with big targets on them.” Bert suggested, “Or that say ‘This space available to rent’ and point at the crotch.”

“Mount me.” I offered.

“What?”

“T-shirts that say ‘Mount me’.”

“Oh. Right.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a duck call kind of thing.”

“What would it sound like?”

“Wa-Hey!” Bert offered.

“Nah.”

“Get yer tits oot for the lads.” Me.

“Not going to work.”

“I have chocolate.” Bert again.

“That…. Now that might work.”

———–

I really, really hate Neil.

Oh, okay, that’s a lie. I love him to bits, in a totally heterosexual way. But he’s getting laid, so I’m very jealous.

She’s a Phd student, “Companion Animal Learned Behaviour.”

“What?”

“Pet psychology.”

“You’re joking right? They do postgrads in pet psychology? How?”

“Have you ever tried to out-think a cat?”

“Fair point. So what are you doing in the pub with your sad single friend when you’ve got a hot doggy shrink to go home to?”

“She’s got some sort of open session on. ‘Bring in your gerbil and we’ll deal with its Oedipal problems.’ That sort of thing. It won’t be done for a while.”

“I was hoping it was because you still loved me.”

“Nah, sorry. You’re last month’s thing. I’m just slumming with you ’cause she lives across the road. Bar billiards?”

Two games, and another pint, later, his phone rang. “Hey honey.” he glanced out of the window at the flats across the road. “Really? How come? Oh, well, that’s cool. Just take all your clothes off and I’ll be right over. Bye bye.”

My shot had gone so horribly wrong that I’d knocked over all three pins. Mental images.

“I’ve got to go. Finish this if you want.” Neil waggled his half drunk pint.

“She isn’t going to be waiting there naked you know.”

“She might be. And would you pass up the chance?”

“No, I guess not. No doggy style, though. Might remind her of work.”

———–

Maybe Neil’s girlfriend can introduce me to a few of her friends.

Or maybe not. The last time we went to a student party Steve and I got drunk and started reminiscing about the early nineties.

There are only so many times you can hear, “I was only four!” before you start to feel old.

————–

Larger offices tend to have a demarcation along employment status lines. The perms look down on us temps because we don’t have their security. We look down on them because that security so often leads to lack of imagination and risk avoidance. Morlocks and Eloi, where it’s always the other bunch who are the knuckle dragging devolveds.

Karen was another of the temps at work. We’d developed a nil carborundum kind of camaraderie against the management stupidity. It was her last day on Friday, so we went for a few drinks.

She’s quite buff, goes to the gym twice a week, to maintain the flat stomach and muscle definition. I refused the offer of an arm wrestle. Cycling does wonders for the definition of my arse and legs, but my top half is flabby and weak.

One by one our band of Eloi disappeared, off home to S.O.s and cats. In the end it was just Karen and me. Somehow we’d made it to the Kro on Oxford Road opposite the University. It was that flux period, between the after work drinkers going home and the party animals getting dressed and heading out.

Karen cycles as well. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Perhaps I should have suggested a ride, but there’s an inner ten year old that just can’t accept the possibility of being beaten by a girl.

At some point before closing time we went our separate ways. I don’t strictly remember the bus ride home. Not that I blacked out. It’s just that I’ve made it so many times it all passes me by unless something particularly interesting happens.
I can’t believe I didn’t get her number or email. I think sh
e knows about my blog.

—————

Sue chose me!

Hungover and befuddled I checked my email. I nearly blocked the message from the speed dating site. It proclaimed ‘Susan wants to see more of you!’ and I was about to mark it as spam when I recognised the site name in the email address.

Sue put a tick next to me on the website. As I ticked against her on my page we get each other’s emails to do with as we please. I was far too hungover to do anything and decided to leave it for a while.

Steve owed me a fry up, so I headed over. Somehow he convinced me to pick up the bacon and sausages on the way. There’s something not quite right about that.

Bert had been photoshopping and now his desktop is a picture of Alyson Hannigan as Vampire Willow, saying “Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m hunting boyfriends.”

We like the idea of being hunted. We don’t believe it really happens, though. Any woman caught making it easy for a bloke would be kicked out of the girly club.

————-

Sue emailed me whilst I was out. Is it a bad sign that she’s capable of being that coherent on a Saturday morning?

She wants to get together some time, tonight even, if I’m free. I guess if I take some paracetamol and drink enough water I’ll be able to pass for sentient by the evening.

————

Food and drinks in Metropolitan on Burton Road. We met early evening, before the pre-club crowd filled it. It was as awkward as you’d expect at first. I bought her a drink (Directors, good call) and we found a table.

“So….” I began, but couldn’t think of what to say next. ‘Why did you wait nearly a fortnight to tick my box?’ would probably sound too judgemental and/or desperate. I sort of waved my hands and smiled.

“Sorry I took so long to complete the feedback. It’s been hellishly busy the last few weeks. I just got back from three days in Germany yesterday.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Not really. I didn’t get to see anything of the area. It was all meetings, trips around chem labs and late meals at the hotel. I got some reading done.”

“What sort of stuff?”

“I’m re-reading all my Pratchett.”

“Oh. I started doing that last year.”

We discussed the Discworld for a while, and somehow it segued into hobbies. Thankfully, nothing Sue does in her spare time involves cruelty to small furry animals. We ate, and drank a bit more, then it became a bit too crowded.

Her place was only a couple of street away. It seemed logical that we should end up there. It was a single bedroom flat on the first floor. I sat on the sofa and checked out the living room whilst she broke open some wine. It was good to know I’m not the only one who’s so untidy. It wasn’t messy, it was just that paperwork, books and magazines were filed in piles on available surfaces.

She brought a bottle of white and two tumblers and sat right beside me. One glass later she was draped across my lap and I was pushing and tugging her top off.

She’s got tiny tits with responsive nipples that seem, relatively, large. I couldn’t keep my hands, lips, tongue and, occasionally, teeth off them. She squirmed a bit, made a lot of appreciative noises and finally went tense and then limp with a little “Wow”. The flush on her pale skin was very sexy.

Having made her come just by concentrating on her breasts I had sealed the deal. We took things to the bedroom.

————-

Coffee in bed. Sweet.

The bedroom’s tidier than the living room. Two bookshelves completely filled, a dressing table and two cupboards. The only signs of disarray were the suitcase and our discarded clothes from the night before.

It was good coffee, too. “I buy the beans from the health food shop. They’re FairTrade.” Sue explained.

She was wearing a big baggy top, looking tiny. Her hair framed her face and she looked worryingly young. “I nearly didn’t tick anyone from the speed dating night. I kept telling myself no-one would be interested.”

“So what made you change your mind?”

“You seemed a nice guy, and interesting. And I was a bit horny. And, well, it is boyfriend season.”

Notes I did think of posting this in parts, but then decided to present it in one piece. “Boyfriend Season” was written in October whilst working on an IT helpdesk. It was inspired by a conversation very like the one that opens the story (see my own version of the Boyfriend Season post). Sadly I haven’t seen the women who introduced me to the concept since that evening.

I’d like to expand upon this story. I was experimenting with minimalism when I wrote it and on re-reading it I think I may have stripped away a little too much. I’ve stated my aim to incorporate this into a novel about a blogger to be called Post & Publish. I see it being the second, of three or four, distinct parts of the novel. Parts 3 and 4 will concentrate on Jim and Sue’s relationship developing and the lives of their friends. I’ve only got this lightly sketched out at the moment, it’s my New Year writing project.

Other fiction-

So Much To Answer For, a crime story also written whilst I was on the helpdesk.

Heavensent is the propeller-punk sci-fi war novel I recently wrapped up.

Download Another Education/Ruby Red or Ten Years Asleep.

Donate Now I’ve started writing again I’m unlikely to stop, but it would be nice if I could eat during my breaks. So please feel free to donate some money to my starving author fund by clicking on the PayPal button below.


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Katie Holmes' feet and toes

It’s a search term from the old days of Spinneyhead which, along with Alyson Hannigan’s feet, made me look like the prime destination for fetishisers of celebrity feet. It’s been popping up in the referrer logs again in the last fortnight, probably due to Joey’s impending nuptials to Scientology boy.

I still don’t have any toe related images, but I can point you to- Tom Cruise is Engaged to Katie Holmes: I’ve seen her naked! and Free Katie. (Via Fleshbot and Screenhead)

Technorati tag:


This one time…..

….on the Internet. Someone started a rumour about an Alyson Hannigan sex video. At least that’s what it looks like from my referrer logs. It’s possible that a bunch of horny geeks all had the same thought at the same time, but- enticing as the hive mind idea is- I doubt it. I’ve said it before, and if I haven’t I’ll say it again, if I was in possession of naked pictures of everyone’s favourite Wiccan flautist I’d keep them to myself.

However, feel free to enjoy Charisma (Cordelia) Carpenter’s Playboy outtakes.

American Pie 1, 2, 3 boxed set

Complete Buffy box set


Sex Symbols

Having mentioned Abi Titmuss, I’ve been getting a lot of hits from people searching for her, preferably naked. I only just found a gallery of images of the woman and….. she does nothing for me. Just your average bland big boobed blonde as far as I’m concerned.

Now, I’m a sucker for your Keiras and Parminders (note to Penny, Ms Nagra is due to appear in Ella Enchanted, featuring Princess Bride‘s Cary Elwes), and there’ll always be a special place in my heart for Alyson, but there’s room for a list of sexy women who are, frankly, too interesting for FHM. For starters I’d like to nominate-

Kate Humble and Ellen McCallie, of Rough Science. As a geek I’m passionate about the strangest things, and there’s something sexy about seeing these ladies getting excited about experiments.

Miranda Krestovnikoff, diver on Wreck Detectives. See above, but about shipwrecks and reefs, and with added scuba gear hotness. (I’m watching the documentary channels at the moment, hence the science babe bias.)

Kiara Bisaro. Cute as a button Canadian mountain biker. Of course, she’d have done two miles before I’d even got out of the house, but that’s cool.

Update It’s list time again. Let’s draw up Spinneyhead’s sexiest people- with two lists, male and female. It’s not mandatory, but I’d like to see the “ladies who are too interesting for the lads’ mags” theme continued, and whatever the equivalent for blokes might be (one way or another, I feel a Dirk Benedict nomination is in the offing). Up to ten nominations each, please. I’m adding Sonya Madan to my list. I’m leaving the starlets in, so I have another two slots to fill.


Search term roulette

Yesterday, so Tim informed me, Spinneyhead was the number one result for a Google search for Alyson Hannigan’s sex toy. Right now, we’re number two. We’re also second, to the Fleshbot link to the original post, for Dirk Benedict sex toy. We’re the only blog linking to a google.ca search for “Alyson Hannigan’s feet pics”, maybe we can be the only citation for these two as well. On Saturday we drew up a dead pool. If I ever get around to posting the list, we’ll be getting some wild search hits.

The Google zeitgeist is always fun to check out. Britney Spears is still the most popular woman in the UK searches, and those of a few other countries. Spinneyhead still gets hits for her topless. For the person or people who keep coming here for “Britney Spears topless in the bath”, here’s the image you’ve been looking for (surprisingly, work safe.)


Thinking with our dicks

It’s true, men are weak pathetic beasts and will make (even more) irrational decisions under the influence of an attractive woman.

Tommaso [..] told New Scientist: “If this is a response to sexual selection then you would expect men who are less attractive to take more risks. If you have many attractive potential partners then it does not pay to take risks. If you are less attractive, with few potential partners, then it pays to take risks.”

I lead such a boring life that I must be fucking gorgeous.
Thanks to Dave and Damian for remaining logical long enough to pass this on. Well done, have a picture of Alyson Hannigan.


Googlism

Just found this (so I apologise if this has appeared before). Googlism.com tells you what google thinks about certain sites such as Spinneyhead.

Googlism for: spinneyhead

spinneyhead is the only citation on popdex for alyson hannigan’s feet

spinneyhead is going to clear 30

spinneyhead is definitely a “hold” position

spinneyhead is the top site for this search

spinneyhead is a yank who came here for a few weeks and hasn’t

spinneyhead is so good

Googlism For JohnnytheO:

johnnytheo is finally up and running

johnnytheo is that there are far more important things in life than worrying about some comments made by an actor

johnnytheo is working on improving the interface


These boots were made for walking, the marquis de sade don�t wear no boots like these

It seems Spinneyhead is rapidly becoming a stopping off point for people with fetishes for celebrity feet. I’m now second on Google for Alyson Hannigan’s feet pics, but I’m also getting visits for katie holmes feet & toes.
I probably shouldn’t read too much into it, considering I was visited this morning by someone looking for kitten sack masturbate photo. And by talking about this sort of behaviour I’m just encouraging it. I should stop giving the perverts the oxygen of publicity.
Stone Roses, Fool’s Gold


Troll

Today’s Doonesbury sees blogger Zip trolling for hits. Terrible behaviour. You’d never see me mentioning Britney Spears topless or Cameron Diaz nude or that in amongst the search terms that have found Spinneyhead in the last few days have been pictures of girls masturbating, Alyson Hannigan’s feet pics and kylie’s bottom

No, no, no, no. That would be below me.


Potential lesbians at six o'clock!

We at Team Spinneyhead are big Willow/ Alyson Hannigan fans, as are so many others. Indeed, as possibly the highest profile lesbian on television, the character of Willow, and her relationships, gets quite a bit of analysis (includes spoilers for those of us who haven’t seen season 7 yet). There was even talk of a Willow based Buffy spin off, though the typically wussy TV execs were scared of a show that would portray dykes as rounded characters. Sigh.

Still, I guess we’ve got American Wedding to look forward to.