Wedding

Mr and Mrs Harry and Meg

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Mr and Mrs Harry and Meg, originally uploaded by spinneyhead.

And this is the reason we’re in the States. In a short but really sweet ceremony Harry and Meg got married.

Presents' next presentation?

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Labelling the archives I happened upon this post, which I think has a good plot idea for a future Spinneyhead Presents production. Ignore the casting ideas, we’ll bring our own people in darling.

I had a RomCom movie plot idea last night on the bus back from town, based upon a conversation I had a few weeks ago when I was asked if I’d like to be a bridesmaid(?!?!?!) Starting from that premise, of a bloke being asked to be a bridesmaid by one of his female friends, you can extrapolate lots of gender and sexuality related jokes and mix ups. Of course, he gets to go to the Hen night, and there he meets a woman. She isn’t interested at first because obviously he must be gay (and/ or she’s in a relationship with a bastard). The wedding approaches, they see more and more of each other (she can’t really be another bridesmaid, or they’d have met before, but she could be the bride’s cousin or something). He convinces her he’s not gay by the tried and tested movie method of sleeping with her. The wedding comes around- comedy ensues. The happy couple ride off into wedded bliss and our guy gets the girl.

I think Madonna for the bride, Gwyneth for the love interest [so she can try out her English accent and get nekkid again =)], not Hugh Grant for the bloke- maybe John Hannah. Form an orderly queue and start making offers for the script.

Something I won't be doing on Saturday

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Every so often I have the sort of evil thought I wouldn’t ever act upon.

Everyone should turn off their mobile for a wedding ceremony, it’s common courtesy. Just imagine the possibilities for evil. Just before going into the service create a text message to everyone you know is there saying something like “Did you turn your phone off?” then send it just as the bride walks down the aisle.

It has potential for entertainment, but I am not responsible for any lynchings that result.

If I now forget to turn off my phone on Saturday I am going to be in so much trouble…..

More wrong wedding presents- pole dancing

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Peekaboo pole dancing pole

Further to the things not to put on a wedding wishlist from Amazon, here’s another gift idea.

Pole dancing is great exercise, which is obviously the only reason you would buy the Kitten-Kit Pole Dancing Pole (aff). There are three sizes of pole to choose from, based upon your ceiling height rather than anything else. To set the pole up you need to find a joist (a stud finder is recommended, and always useful for innuendo afterwards) and attach the chrome socket. The rest of the pole kit folds away for storage or removal when your parents are visiting.

If you rent, or want to take your pole on the road, the Peekaboo Pole Dancing Pole (aff) might be more your style. Again you’ll have to find a joist to brace against and this one won’t allow more extreme manoeuvres, but it’s cheaper and more portable.

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Wedding Lists at Amazon

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I just noticed that Amazon now has, as well as “Add to Wishlist”, an “Add to Wedding List” button on its product pages. A quick perfect wedding list list-

Divorce for Dummies

Daily Mirror, 28 April 2004
“…an excellent investment…”

It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce

KoKo is a realistically sad unisex bear who learns the divorce is not KoKo’s fault, that those sad feelings will pass, that a child can love and be loved by both parents even when living in a family apart. I believe this book will make a difference in your child’s adjustment to divorce.

The 50-Mile Rule: Your Guide to Infidelity and Extramarital Etiquette

If you’re considering having an affair (or suspect that your partner is having one) THE 50-MILE RULE gives you the information you need to make smarter decisions when pursuing sex outside of marriage. Discover who makes a suitable affair partner, the rules you must never break, when to call it quits, and what to do if you’re caught. This is the ultimate handbook for cheater and scorned alike.

The Toybag Guide to Clips & Clamps
The Toybag Guide to Canes & Caning
The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies & Supplies
Toybag Guide to High-tech Toys

21st Century Swinging: A Guide for the Tempted

Have you ever: fantasised about being watched while having sex? imagined having a threesome? Or a foursome? wanted to watch your partner make love to someone else? Then this is definitely the book for you. Basic swinging etiquette is clearly explained together with real-life swinging experiences, all of which will help to identify whether you’re ready to enter into the ‘swinging’ world. It also addresses questions such as: where can I meet swingers? what can I expect at a swingers’ party? what should I wear? where could I advertise and what should I write? This book promises to enlighten, entertain and turn on!

I could go on, but I think I ought to stop now before people start crossing me off their guest lists.

My (non-wedding) wish list can be found here. Be nice to me, buy me presents.

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