I'm with the highest bidder

Currently for sale on EBay- wedding invitations to the least sparkling event of the season.

I’ve been invited to the wedding of a mate of mine who I used to know really well until he started going out with the girl he’s going to marry. She’s a dog. No really. I haven’t seen them since I told her she’s a dog over two years ago. They’ve stupidly invited me to their wedding, but I don’t want to go. It’s an invite to me ‘+plus 1″ and involves the afternoon reception (a sit down meal in a 4 star restaurant) and evening piss up (a bus will carry you there, and drag you to the nearest b&b or trainstation after. Should be a good day out. All in all I reckon there’s a good �150 worth of entertainment if you time it right. No one will know you’re not me except the groom and he’ll be so pissed trying to forget his new wife’s a dog he won’t notice. The only thing is, because she’s such a dog, they might not get married, so I reserve the right to cancel the bidding.

Found by Tim

Bright wedding

We’ve lived in Lamplugh for years and i think that’s the first time i’ve attended a wedding in the local church. There was no shelling out, where the local kids the the gate closed and demand payment before they’ll let the newly weds out, which was a shame.
Now we’re off to the reception, where i must not drink too much. This would be a big break from almost every other wedding i’ve ever attended, so wish me luck.

I see trees of green….

I’m going home for the weekend, to attend a wedding. The bride is the shortest of the kids in this picture. I only feel a little old. I may moblog, because I quite enjoy it.

Meanwhile, can everyone pop over to John’s site and remind him to sort this out, because he’s not answered my e-mails on the subject, I don’t have his phone number and I no longer feel like playing nice.

Slightly down subject to enter the weekend, but I don’t care. In about three hours I’ll be driving through the Lakes with loud music playing.


Discussion last night, as well as porn buddies and ear bleeding guitar music, took in the subject of suitable presents for newborns. We struck upon the idea of buying notional bottles of whisky to be released to celebrate landmarks. Casks laid down in the year of the baby’s birth would be bottled at 18 and 21 years. The child would receive a bottle on their 18th and 21st birthdays and another to mark their wedding or 30th, whichever came first. A company would have to be set up that bought three casks a year- which can be done, though at the moment the recommended method of investing in whisky is to buy bottles– and assured their future bottling and distribution.

link via The Sesquipedalian

Even more wedding pictures

I’ve put some pictures from Sabs and Griff’s wedding into the photo album. Honestly, you’d think most of Spinneyhead had attended or something. I’ve downloaded Damian’s pictures and will resize them, change them to house style and put them up later.

I’ve also added a few pictures to the November and December galleries.

(The Blogger interface was down all of yesterday, so I tried to post this news using the e-mail portal- in the hope it would at least get queued and appear when everything was sorted out. If it starts to sound like an echo chamber in here then Blogger got mail.)

Picture of the day.

It’s not raining, so now I have to make another excuse for not going on a training ride. For now, I’m settling for the hangover. Back on the drink yesterday. I can no longer abstain until I leave because I just volunteered for another three or so months. It’s odd, isn’t it, the day after I agree to this extension I’m thanked and congratulated by a little surprise in my pay packet. Hmmmm.

I had a RomCom movie plot idea last night on the bus back from town, based upon a conversation I had a few weeks ago when I was asked if I’d like to be a bridesmaid(?!?!?!) Starting from that premise, of a bloke being asked to be a bridesmaid by one of his female friends, you can extrapolate lots of gender and sexuality related jokes and mix ups. Of course, he gets to go to the Hen night, and there he meets a woman. She isn’t interested at first because obviously he must be gay (and/ or she’s in a relationship with a bastard). The wedding approaches, they see more and more of each other (she can’t really be another bridesmaid, or they’d have met before, but she could be the bride’s cousin or something). He convinces her he’s not gay by the tried and tested movie method of sleeping with her. The wedding comes around- comedy ensues. The happy couple ride off into wedded bliss and our guy gets the girl.

I think Madonna for the bride, Gwyneth for the love interest [so she can try out her English accent and get nekkid again =)], not Hugh Grant for the bloke- maybe John Hannah. Form an orderly queue and start making offers for the script.