zombies


Zombies!

Get your own pet zombie, to stick in a corner and scare yourself with whilst walking around the house late at night.

Life-Size semi poseable Zombies with metal armature comes complete with Bust, Hands, Body Form, complete costume, and stand ready for any graveyard or any Living dead scene. Beautifully detailed and ready to devour anything in their paths. Very soon each Zombie will be complete with a limited edition “Death Certificate” to display on your mantel

via BoingBoing

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Multimedia Experiences

Let’s see. In the last few months I have been-

Watching-

Land of the Dead You can’t really go wrong with a zombie movie, especially when you have one of the masters at the helm. The satire is a bit less subtle than in Dawn and there isn’t the same feeling of stalking death- you’re certain that some of the characters will survive- which takes a little of the edge off. More horror/action than pure horror, but a good example of it nonetheless.

Revolver I’m going to sue Guy Ritchie for two hours of my life. This is probably the new low, replacing Catwoman. The thing is, certain elements were well done but were let down by being in such an awful, nonsensical movie. Whilst Catwoman was bad because every aspect was awful, this film was bad because parts of it could, could, have been so good.

Pride and Prejudice Chick flick. I wanted to go and see Lords of Dogtown. However, this was still a good little comedy of manners. I haven’t read the book, or seen the BBC adaptation, so I don’t know how it stands up to what has gone before. And I still think the soundtrack album should have remixes by The Prodigy, Aphex Twin and Osymyso.

The Dukes of Hazzard This was great fun in a lovely shallow way. Seann William Scott can be annoying and Jessica Simpson is just a pretty vacant space, but Johnny Knoxville is turning into quite a charismatic actor, within a limited range.

Young and Dangerous I knew this looked familiar, but it wasn’t until a particular scene halfway through that I realised I’d owned it before. It seems a former housemate decided to trade it without asking me. Anyway, it’s a Hong Kong gangster movie about loyalty, honour and death. A gang of young hoodlums follow the same “uncle” for over a decade until betrayal sees one of them betrayed, the gang torn apart by jealousies and a rival crimelord taking over. Revenge comes in one carefully orchestrated night of violence. I can’t remember whether I’ve seen “A Better Tomorrow”, to which it gets favourable comparisons, but it’s definitely a powerful piece.

One Down, Two To Go Blaxploitation and Kung-Fu collide. A Californian sensei and his publicist (played by Shaft) are robbed of their winnings after a tournament in New York. After being beaten and shot they call in two friends from the West Coast, Cal and J, who proceed to shoot a lot of mobsters. It all ends with a strange scene where mobsters and black avengers stand three feet apart in a smokey warehouse and trade shots. Not a great movie, but somehow better than Revolver.

Stargate: The Director’s Cut After watching a lot of the TV series it seemed like a good idea to go back to the source. The series was quite faithful to the film, taking the elements and expanding on them. Above all, it’s quite a different mythos from all the other sci-fi that was out there at the time, and a lot of what has come since, and it was well done and entertaining.

Reading-

Neuromancer There’s a bit early on in this book where a character having 3 MEGS of hot RAM is an important plot point. It’s the only bit that really struck me as a quaint view of the future. The rest of the book holds up well. Yes, it is a very eighties vision of the future, but that is because Neuromancer was the break out cyberpunk novel and shaped so much of the eighties’ vision of the future.

Nathaniel’s Nutmeg Consider this a companion piece to the author’s Big Chief Elizabeth. Whilst Britain’s colonists were trying to get a foothold in America, the British East India Company was trying to earn millions from the spice trade with the islands in the Indian Ocean. However they had to compete, in a genuinely cutthroat way with the Spanish and Portugese and eventually the Dutch, for the rights to trade. Central to the story, and the source of the title, is the defence of the tiny island of Run and its prodigious nutmeg harvest by one Nathaniel Courthope. For all that this is “bravery that changed the course of history”, very little of the book is devoted to it. Rather it concentrates on how the trade was established and how Britain and Holland used the island as a bargaining chip after going to war. Fascinating stuff well presented.

The Mask of Command A very different type of history book. Whilst Nathaniel’s Nutmeg is history presented by a journalist and thus has a lightness and is easily readable, this is history presented by a historian and thus is laden with clauses and other traps. Taking the examples of Alexander, Wellington, Ulysses S Grant and Hitler, John Keegan attempts to convey the changing face of command and commanders. Alexander was a heroic commander, leading very much from the front, but as armies grew larger and became composed more of citizens than the elite, commanders had to move ever further away from the action to get a better overall view. Grant and Wellington were still on the battlefield and in some personal danger, but the generals of the First World War used telephones and runners to conduct their battles from fifty miles behind the lines. Hitler, whilst deriding their methods, was the chateau general writ large, dealing from Berlin in the minutiae of logistics without really understanding the conditions his soldiers suffered. Hard going, but interesting stuff if you have a thing for military history.

The Men Who Stare At Goats Jon Ronson examines the nuttier fringes of the US military and discovers how a post-vietnam search for meaning became poisoned and led, directly and indirectly, to the horrors of Abu Ghraib. All the while he is also trying very hard to find the man who reputedly stopped the heart of a goat simply by staring at it.

Enigma This is the sort of thriller The Da Vinci Code wishes it was, well researched, gripping and intelligent enough not to patronise its readers. Haven’t finished it yet, just give me until the end of the week.

Playing-

Command & Conquer: Generals I haven’t actually bought any PC games sinceI got this, though I think there’s a copy of Medieval Total War somewhere that Daz gave me. I gave up on trying to beat real people ages ago and have settled for overcoming ever harder computer enemies.

Listening to-

96.2 the Revolution

Radio 4 (mostly at 6.30 in the evening for the comedy slots.)

A big pile of tapes I just rediscovered.

I don’t have the time to miss television.

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Film Fan

We’ve been doing the Orange Wednesday thing for a while now, and it’s about time I reviewed some of the movies. These are the ones I can remember, with a couple of non-midweek ones thrown in for good measure.

Van Helsing– The first OW film we went to see, this one set a standard for the others to follow. A very low standard, but that’s life. CGI uber alles, with so many effects shots there was no actual excitement, no “cool stunt” moments. It did have Kate Beckinsale in a corset and leather trousers, but that just wasn’t enough.

Troy– I’ve never read The Iliad, so I couldn’t judge how much this was mangling history. Gorgeous to look at and with special effects properly used- the thousand ships got a “Cool” response rather than “Yeah, but they did it all with computers”. All in all it’s just as silly as the historical epics of the 50s and 60s only this time they have the ability to do the epic scope shots.

Connie and CarlaSome Like It Hot, only with transvestites. A competent comedy adventure in the traditional model. The gayness of the drag queens was mainstreamed a bit- camp but asexual.

Shaun of the Dead– Brilliant. This works on so many levels- geeky, very British, gory and hilarious. We need more movies like this and fewer Notting Hill Wedding, Actually type things.

Dawn of the Dead– The other zombie movie. Not bad, but surprisingly not as gory as Shaun and without the dark satire of the original. The end titles sequence is very effective and creepy in its own right.

Shrek 2– Definitely the film of the year. It deserves repeated viewings just to catch all the visual jokes and homages.

The Day After Tomorrow– A disater movie in the classic style. This does all the characters in extreme peril/ who’s going to die stuff you’d expect from Earthquake etc., though they can’t afford to be quite as all-star as ‘7os movies. Despite sounding ludicrous, the premise for the disaster is based upon an accepted scientific theory- that fresh water melting into the Atlantic would mess with the Gulf Stream and its warming effects on the Northern hemisphere.

Spider-Man 2– A top quality sequel. With characters rather than cardboard cut-outs and believable set ups for the fight sequences it’s possible to watch the obviously animated Spidey swinging between sky scrapers and really care.

King Arthur– Kiera Knightley in a leather bikini and, erm….. swords. Based on “the true story the legend is based on”, the film is full of gaping holes. The Saxons came ashore in Scotland- when Northumbria or even further south would have been more realistic- just so there could be a battle at Hadrian’s Wall. Then Arfur and his k-nigets open the gates and let the Germanic hordes through! What’s the point of having a great big wall if you’re going to do that. And don’t get us started on the accents.

Jersey Girl– Disappointing outing from Kevin Smith. He’s excellent at observation and there are lots of neat little details, but the film just doesn’t work as a whole. The supporting cast are all far better than Affleck’s unlikeable main character. It was brave to take this route after all the fart jokes, but I think Smith went too far into the earnest. Certainly, the rudest character- Liv Tyler’s cheeky, horny video store assistant- is the most interesting.

Donnie Darko– This film does make sense. Sort of. I can think of a few explanations of the plot, but to do so would give the ending away. Is it me, or does romantic lead Jena Malone look like Jodie Foster.

Fahrenheit 9/11– Not as powerful as Bowling for Columbine was for me. I think one of the problems was that little of this was new to me in the way stuff in BFC was. If this film was a revelation to American viewers, then the US media really is as bad, biased and inept as people say. Moore has promised the equivalent of a whole films worth of extra footage for the DVD. You have to hope that the film succeeds in its stated aim of toppling the Bush presidency.

I, Robot– Another example of sfx being used to support the story, rather than just because. A mish mash of Asimov’s robot stories with a plausible use of the Three Laws as a basis. It’s still mostly an excuse for a bunch of action sequences, but it does them well.

The Bourne Supremacy– One of those rare films these days that doesn’t rely on sfx for its action sequences. This takes the style of Bourne Identity and pumps it up. I’m looking forward to the third one already.

Catwoman– The film that toppled Van Helsing off it’s Worst of the Year spot. When you look at the special effects and think the PS2 is almost as good, in real time, then there’s something wrong.

The Chronicles Of Riddick– A passable attempt at space opera, with the fate of the universe hanging on the actions of a dangerous anti-hero. The film doesn’t aim low- it wants to be an epic. Whilst it doesn’t quite reach the heights it aspires to, it’s a damn good try.

I’m certain I’ve forgotten some films. If anyone would like to remind me I’ll add the reviews.

UpdateThe Terminal. It says something that I saw this film on Wednesday and forgot to put it in a list compiled on Sunday. Like Jersey Girl, this is a disappointing outing from this director with occasional bits that show how much better it could have been. For example, the most interesting subplot- Hanks as romantic go-between whilst trying to get his visa- is poorly handled, then dropped for half an hour before being hurriedly wrapped up. It’s just over two hours, but feels much longer.