New Union Statement Released

21/02/03 – London (Reuters) – A series of discussions with Tony Blair and the CEO of Spinneyhead have ended late this evening. The Spinneyhead Union Association is threatening a strike action if their demands for better worknig conditions and pay are not met. Spinneyhead maintains that modernisation of posting practices must happen before other issues can be resolved. Chief negotiator, John O., remained upbeat and expressed praise for Spinneyhead CEO Ian P’s handling of the current crisis.

“Spinneyhead is vital for people across the world and the SUA is committed to working through this with Ian P and his management team. As a result of todays talks, the SUA is pleased to annouce we have decided not to demand a $30,000 jacuzzi for the Scottish Office. With this gesture it is clearly time for Spinneyhead to make some inroads as well. Ian P stated in the meeting today he was not going to be actively involved with the business over the next two weeks and we urge him to take this time to improve the site! Obviously if he is not surfing or working, he surely can lead the charge to improve working conditions and let the world know Spinneyhead cares about its employees and readers alike.”

Attempts to contact Ian P were unsuccessful. A spokesperson in their Manchester offices stated a statement would be released after a meeting to agree the new site colour scheme, purportedly remoured to be Puce.