“The enemy we’re fighting is different from the one we had war-gamed against,” says Lieutenant General William Wallace, the senior US ground commander in Iraq. Oh for fuck’s sake people! Sometimes you get the feeling that someone in the war room just went “Oh they’ll roll over and let us pat their tummys when they realise we’re bringing them McDonalds, Starbucks and Britney.” and so the plan was born.

Then again, it might be for the best, because the team they wargamed against was consistently kicking the shit out of them, at least until the Blue team spat the dummy and told the Red commander to play by their rules or they were taking their toys home.

Meanwhile, the poor bastards who have to carry out these Hollywood inspired orders are charging for al-Kut, the site of a major British defeat in World War 1