Dave likes looking at Arrse (that’s the Army Rumour Service, he’s not that kind of boy (I think)), from which he sent me this little snippet-

Two stories to make you proud to be British:

This story was in the Daily Mirror yesterday apparently in yet another “friendly fire” incident a US marine decided to open fire on a RAF Chinook Helicopter in central Iraq.

The pilot put down his helicopter yards from the marines and leapt out shouting, “When was the last time you saw a f**king Iraqi helicopter?”

The two needed to be pulled apart after the Brit pilot threw punches at the marine.

In a classic quote from Group Captain Al Lockwood, “It sounds like a typical RAF thing to do, they don’t suffer fools gladly”.

Priceless.

Experts with newscaster on CNN 24th March. Three yank experts including a former 2-star general from Delta Force, 1 ex-SAS and the network’s anchor:

Footage of Iraqis giving themselves up.

Anchor: We have no verification as of yet if they are British or American troops taking these POWs.

Yank 1: Only Americans wear boots like that, they’re American.

Yank 2: I agree, and they appear to have American camouflage jackets.

Yank 3 (delta force bloke): I’m not so sure, there’s not enough up-close detail to tell 100%, we’d need some close images to tell make of boots and jackets and maybe the shape of their Kevlar headgear.

Ex SAS man: Call yourselves experts? Since when did US forces use an SA80 as a standard issue rifle? Their DPMs can be bought as can boots so you’re chasing rainbows if you want to identify them from their clothes.

Anchor: I think you’re right.

Ex SAS man: Course I’m bloody right. Any one with half a brain and basic military training worth their salt should be able to identify a British soldier by his rifle. Not to mention the fact they’re covering all points properly, not shouting “Woo yeah” randomly, and haven’t raised a flag in direct contravention with orders.

At this point one of the yanks walks off stage tearing his mike off, and the anchor says, “I think we can safely say the soldiers on your screen are British. Now for these messages.”

Never listen to the experts, at least, not the American ones.

Null saw the twin engined plane pass overhead, tracer dancing down either side of it. Then bombs exploded in the antennae above the bridge. He was sliced by a dozen splinters of wooden shrapnel and knocked off his feet.

The bombs from the second plane penetrated the roof of the bridge and the interior was gutted in a flash. All of the command and control crew were dead. Down in the engine room they could hear the explosions, they knew they were under attack, but no-one thought to check the steering and adjust their course. The Waltzer began to wander away from its targets, swinging into a long lazy turn toward the second of the convoy�s defenders.

Despite the loss of their wing leader, the Wasps continued their bombing runs, shattering the Waltzer�s decks. The big gun managed one final round, which flew high and wide. Then a bomb finally smashed through into the magazine. The fireball and shrapnel tore the next Wasp along to shreds and shattered the ship down to its keel.

Finally everyone in the engine room knew there was no hope for the ship. The last of the crew still alive, they headed for the deck, dodging fires and flooding compartments. There was one launch still intact. The last five of the crew clambered in, cut it loose and dropped the spans to the sea. They paddled away as the Waltzer snapped and the two sections sank rapidly.

There were groups of sailors from the sinking attack ship, clinging to makeshift rafts and bobbing in the swell. The battle was over for them and the crew of the Waltzer, so the law of the sea ruled that the sailors in the launch had to help those in the water.

I’ve spent an awfully large amount of my working life, to be honest, not working. Spinneyhead is, after all, dedicated to surfing from work. But I now find I wasn’t trying hard enough. Some people are using technology far more inventively, utilising remote control, e-mail timers and call forwarding to create the impression they’re working when they’re not.

via GeekPress