I was thinking about becoming a spook. MI5 has Data Analyst roles (though they’re not taking applicants right now.)

The problem is, now I’ve told you all about it, I’ve disqualified myself from applying.

To be eligible to apply, you must meet our residency criteria. You must be a born or naturalised British Citizen and one of your parents must be a British Citizen or have substantial ties to the UK. Candidates must normally have been resident in the UK for 9 out of the last 10 years. This is particularly important if you were born outside the UK. You will nonetheless be considered if you have, for example, served overseas with HM Forces or in some other official capacity as a representative of Her Majesty’s Government, studied abroad, or lived overseas with your parents.

Due to national security reasons, you will need to be 18 years old, or above, to apply. Your application may take around 6 months to process.

Discretion is important to the Service, so please only discuss this application with your partner and/or immediate family.

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