You may remember the original Red Dawn, a piece of gung-ho anti-communist nonsense from 1984 about the Russians invading Colorado. It’s been a while since I saw it, but I don’t remember it being all that good. Despite my reservations, it’s got a cult following and inspired a remake, which was shot in 2010 and starred Chris Hemsworth- later to be Thor.
The new version of Red Dawn changed the invaders to the Chinese. However, for various reasons it was shelved and didn’t see the light of day until last year. Not wanting to miss out on the now lucrative Chinese market, the invaders were changed to North Korea.
Worried that they had a crap film with a ludicrous premise, the studio knew they needed a really good marketing campaign, so they put in a call to Kim Jong Un. “Kimmy!” they said, “Kimmy, baby! We need you to prance around a bit and look threatening, so that the kids’ll buy the set-up of our new movie. Can you do that for us, sort of Gangnam Style but with nukes? We promise you the real Mickey Mouse, and we’ll build you a better theme park. Just act all tough and say some nonsense about how you’re going to destroy America. There’s no need to actually do anything.”