Never ever, under any circumstances, tell the Benefits Agency the truth. They say they want the truth, but getting it just screws their whole delicately balanced, generally useless system. I feel like Jack Nicholson, hissing out, “You can’t handle the Truth.”

Yes, nearly five months after signing on, and four weeks after finding a new job, I still haven’t received any Housing Benefit. The reason- I actually admitted that I wasn’t going to turn into a daytime TV watching vegetable and would devote the time I wasn’t jobhunting toward projects that might, one day, pay out.