Does anyone else find a certain DIY store’s adverts stupid? Why do all the people who feel at home in their show rooms have to be so damned miserable? Couldn’t there be just one where a couple are enjoying making a meal together at the end of a long day, or teasing each other to the point of getting jiggy? If I was in the market for fittings and fixtures I wouldn’t be buying any of their crap now that they’re telling me it’ll turn me into an angry person.

If they’d like a more positive version I’m available to direct it. I’m certain I could deliver something far better than what they’re using at the moment.