I wouldn’t really consider myself an arse man, at least, no more than I’m a breast man. I find that the whole package is much more attractive and interesting than the sum of its parts.

Having got the New Man disclaimer out of the way, I have to admit it was the lewd connotations that first drew me to Zoe Williams’ deconstruction of bum culture, which takes the battle of the celebrity buttocks as a starting point-

J-Lo has, allegedly trying to poach Kylie’s bottom make-up artist. A Minogue “insider” was recently reported as saying, “This industry’s not big enough for two bottoms of such magnitude. Kylie’s make-up girl has found the elixir of arse maintenance, and there’s no way she’ll let that awful Lopez woman near it.”