The Spinneyhead Incompetence Watch has been absent for a while, so for its return, I would like to nominate British Gas.
Any utility company who can send someone round to read a meter which they haven’t supplied for nearly 2 years deserves something, especially when on being told why I left BG (main reason: their incompetence and lack of customer service) he tries to sell me them again.
has apparantly been used as an excuse for a couple of days of excessively late trains.
So I was more than a tad worried this morning, while reading this story in the newspaper, when the train came to an abrupt halt in the middle of a normally stop free journey. However, after 10 minutes when we started rolling again, the excuse was far more entertaining – “There was a sheep on the line”.
Quite why the farmer turned down the oppurtunity to have next week’s dinner neatly butchered (and given the supposed line temperature, cooked as well) at zero cost to himself remains a mystery.
Even more amusing from a personal point of view was that the trains were running so late this afternoon that I managed to get the train which normally runs an hour before mine, thus making home in the quickest time ever and giving me lots of time to buy mint sauce to take on the train tomorrow.
A student has been given the (un)enviable task of touring England by train, to find the country’s hottest kebabs.
I am however puzzled by his first choice of takeaway – Babylon’s on Oxford Rd, Manchester. I’m sure I could have found a hotter kebab in Manchester.
A know this is silly as it only applies to two questions a week but hey it may be still a bit of fun. Nursery Rhymes and Proverbs.
Area commander Janssen was getting more information than he could handle. Things were happening all over his city, in no sensible order. He needed his deputy commanders, but they were dead. Or his civilian assistant, but he was in prison.
“Sir. Reports from Stran Island say three of the runways are out of action and half the….”
“Spotters report hundreds of planes from seaward.”
“Spotters?” Janssen was furious, “Can they not see anything with that damnable RADIF!”
“Sir, the RADIF was on Stran.”
“Stran docks report ten coastal craft of forty are operational.”
“Sir, our men outside are being fired on.”
The man next to Janssen realised he was shaking. Rapidly everyone in the room noted their commander’s state. The voices faded as they waited for him to collapse or recover.
“KILL THEM!! Kill them all!”
“Sir?”
“Raze all the buildings! From here to the glacier! If they are coming to relieve the city then I shall leave no city for them.”
“Sir, is that the best..”
Janssen had drawn his gun and was pointing it at the young officer. It had always been suggested that the weapon was for show and never loaded. But this was not the time to find out if that were true. “Do you question my orders?”
“No sir.”
“Then begin it. Now!”
So the order went out. The assembled troops weren’t to report to defence stations, but should proceed to destroy the old town.
Cameron Diaz Topless! Again, this is just a tease, a sort of sequel to yesterday’s Britney Topless post.
Ms Diaz has gone to court to keep the pictures from being published, claiming the photographer forged her signature on the consent to publish forms.
[The judge] also ordered that a video – the contents of which neither side would discuss outside the court – should also remain out of the public domain.
Great way to get the rumour mill fired up, I bet there are a lot of “Cameron Diaz nude video” type searches going on in Kazaa at the moment.
The Sokoine University of Agriculture in Tanzania is doing research into training rats to find mines. It’s definitely a more humane use for them than in my Rats of War story, that’s for sure.
The rats are put through their paces on minefield at the university campus.
Mr Cox reassured BBC News Online that none of the animals had been lost to any explosive errors.
via Burnt Toast
Technorati tag: Rats
Maybe if I wrote a children’s book, I could be the New JK Rowling too.