Oh no! Someone has finally died from cannabis poisoning! And it only took him 11 years of smoking six blunts a day! This means that cannabis is nearly almost a tiny fraction as dangerous as alcohol or tobacco! Ban it! Ban it now! None of this hippy re-classification nonsense! It’s evil! I mean, we don’t even collect tax on it!

PS Can someone send around samples of the experimental stronger strains so we can test them please?

PPS I’m probably so square that no-one has ever referred to them as blunts in the whole history of toking have they.