Daily archives: December 5, 2006

Don't worry your pretty little head, the caveman will look after you

Apparently women are genetically programmed to be dependent upon men, which is nice.

This article reads like the Onion team broke in and edited the paper, it sounds so much like a parody of a Daily Mail article. If they could just have thrown in a bit about how we’re all naturally territorial and therefore immigrants should go back where they belong it would have been perfect.

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So Much To Answer For- Part 22

All thoughts of salvage and sculpture from the remnants of the garage had been abandoned. Pete had ordered a skip and Joe had shovelled his studio into it. Then he’d trimmed the hedge and pruned some of the trees and thrown the branches on top. The skip was still only half full. Joe was looking for new things to throw into it.
Rachel arrived before he found any new junk. She gave the skip a wide berth, and stepped back from Joe when she saw his soot stained hands.

“You’re looking at On The Wall’s new Manchester shop manager.”

“Cool.” Rachel’s smile seemed a bit forced. “Not cool?”

“I was talking to Hugh. I think he wants to come up here and castrate you.”

“Oh I can deal with your brother.”


“Yeah. I know loads of places to hide.” That got a genuine smile. “Should I talk to him? Tell him my intentions toward you are entirely honourable. Or, at least, only as dishonourable as you’ll allow.”

“I’m worried I’ve upset him. I don’t want to upset him. He’s the most important man in my life. Yes, more important than you. More important than my father, or my step-dad. He’s the only one who’s been there all my life.”

“Okay. I won’t make jokes.”

“Don’t be silly. Make jokes. Be yourself. Remember that you were his friend long before you started sleeping with his sister.”

“I can do that.”

“Did your friend take the money?”

“Sarah? Yeah. She didn’t want to. I sat there and let her tell me all the reasons she wouldn’t. I learnt some stuff I’d rather not have, and will never repeat. Then I just slid it across the table. She looked at it for a while then picked it up. God knows what she’ll tell her fiancee.”

“Nothing. I wouldn’t.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Can we stay at your place tonight?”

“I only have a single bed.”

“So we’ll have to snuggle.”

“Okay. You’ve convinced me.”

Part 23
Part 21
Part 1

Other fiction- check out Heavensent, the propeller-punk sci-fi war novel I recently wrapped up, or download Another Education/Ruby Red or Ten Years Asleep.

Donate Now I’ve started writing again I’m unlikely to stop, but it would be nice if I could eat during my breaks. So please feel free to donate some money to my starving author fund by clicking on the PayPal button below.

Fiction, ,

More T shirt ideas

‘Pull to open’ I thought it might also work on boxers or knickers, then realised that by that point it would be redundant.

‘No thanks, I’m waiting for my boyfriend.’

‘My RAID array’s bigger than your RAID array.’

‘Optical illusion’Which I promised years ago for the more buxom ladies.

‘All I want for Christmas is a blowjob’ Though I think I’ve missed the window for seasonal designs.

‘Access restricted’ Another one for knickers.

‘Small but perfectly formed’ For ladies tops and boxer shorts.

I’m sure I should be thinking of other things whilst cycling to work, but it was rush hour so most of the traffic was standing still.