How safe is your street?
Crime maps of the UK. Based upon Police statistics. Fascinating.
Crime maps of the UK. Based upon Police statistics. Fascinating.
No, really, it is. That’s going to mess with my plan for the week.
I’d read the page, but I don’t hav the time for a migraine.
I saw you sitting on the pavement
Watching the goose-step of the crowd
You were a picture of rebellion
A kleptomaniac and proud
Well I should’ve seen it coming
from miles away
kiss the pavement goodbye
and say hello to the ice age
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to fight for
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to lose
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to live for
And there’s a lot more people worse off than you
Well let’s just pretend we’re human beings
for a while
Chronic Shyness
Can drive us to a smile
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to cry for
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to win
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to die for
And there’s a lot more people better off than you
The say your vacant face
Helps the tourist trade
If they could see you in your leisure time… well
A funny thing happened on the way to here
The headlines read like the end was near
For Queen Jane
The say your vacant face
Helps the tourist trade
If they could see you in your leisure time…
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to fight for
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to lose
Queen Jane
You’ve got everything to die for
And there’s a lot more people worse off than you
Queen Jane
It wouldn’t happen in another world
It couldn’t have happened to a nicer planet
It would’ve happened in another world
So don’t pretend to care when you don’t care
Ten years asleep
In the queue for the late night bus
With all of us
Breakfast television
Is the biggest decision I’ve made
In the last decade
It wouldn’t happen in another world
It couldn’t have happened to a nicer planet
It would’ve happened in another world
So don’t pretend to care when you don’t care
Ten years asleep
It’ll be far too late
To call 0898
Ten years asleep
Every mind is UXB
So don’t pretend that…
It wouldn’t happen in another world
It couldn’t have happened to a nicer planet
It would’ve happened in another world
So don’t pretend to care when you don’t care
All the punks are pushing thrity years
And are hardly feared
All the young dudes
Work for all the old brutes
In expensive suits
Ten years asleep
’cause your grave is empty
But already dug
Ten years of sleeping knees
Instead of news
So don’t complain that…
It wouldn’t happen in another world
It couldn’t have happened to a nicer planet
It would’ve happened in another world
So don’t pretend to care when you don’t care
There, there, there
You could watch it over and over, following different fish each time.
Kaiser Saucey was the name of the mysterious big breasted, lingerie clad criminal genius everyone was hunting in the porn remake of The Usual Suspects.
I’d never actually seen this clip before. When it happened I was listening to the show on the radio. This is not a great example of Carter USM, they were made to lipsync to a backing track, were lost on the audience and were faded down early. But it does have Fruitbat’s flying tackle of Philip Schofield at the end, which almost makes up for it.
After The Watershed (Early Learning The Hard Way)
Exhibit F, the reporters said
loved you to death after the watershed
Between the Open University and closedown
you were dead
He’s warmed your cockles with his magic tricks
glasses, bottles, bottles, filter tips
John Player Special
Number 666
Exhibit G from the family firm
his bride to be taking twisted turns
To give you French kisses
and Chinese burns
You see, she’d had a skinful and she couldn’t stop
like a pitbull in a china shop
And all the King’s social workers, the ghurkas and the cops
somehow
couldn’t love you back to life again now
A black eye for a black eye
a chipped tooth for a chipped tooth
a fraction of a half life
some housework and some home truths
And nothing but the home truth
Nothing but the home truth
Nothing but the home truth
And it’s goodbye Ruby Tuesday
Come home you silly cow
We’ve baked a cake and your friends are waiting
and David Icke says he’d like to show us how
to love you back to life again now
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday
Come home you silly cow
We’ve baked a cake and your friends are waiting… waiting… waiting…
AND DAVID ICKE SAYS!
goodbye Ruby Tuesday
Come home you silly cow
We’ve baked a cake and your friends are waiting
and David Icke says
Goodbye, you silly cow
Come home
come home
come home
come home
A black eye for a black eye
a chipped tooth for a chipped tooth
a fraction of a half life
some housework and some home truths
And nothing but the home truth
Nothing but the home truth
Nothing but the home truth
I know it’s not THAT long since I cleaned my room. But where did this ancient technology come from?
Taken on Saturday, but I just remembered I had it.
The English Defence League were in town yesterday, grossly outnumbered by people who think they’re scum. I went along to video their protest and the counter-protest, streaming it live to the Internet (isn’t technology great). The videos are at qik.com, which doesn’t seem to allow embedding. No apologies for the picture and sound quality. They were shot on my phone and instantly available online, which more than makes up for it in my opinion.
Taking a break from following devolved cretins around the streets surrounding Piccadilly we took a wander to Dantzic Street to look at ruins and the stuff that had been dug out of them.
All the while things had been getting more heated on Piccadilly. We tried to catch a glimpse on the way back, but couldn’t get past the Police cordon. Much as I know it’s important for us to show the EDL how vastly outnumbered they are, I’m glad I didn’t hang around to get kettled into the Gardens.
Then we went to the pub to drink a wee bit too much and laugh at the special parking.
Police horses are cool. This one, and several others, is on Market Street waiting for the fascists to show themselves.
My copy of Grandville arrives tomorrow (or, more likely, I’ll have to get them to resend it to me and I’ll get it on Monday). So it seems a good time to read a two part interview with its creator, the great Bryan Talbot (part 1, part 2).
After putting out a call via Facebook and Twitter for volunteers I had a few people willing to give their family names to characters in Point of Contact (previously referred to as “The Space Comic”). Moody won the coveted position after four of the character names through being suggested first and twice (that’s a little unfair on everyone else as I think the Moodys are the only siblings in my friends list, but that’s the way it goes). Please bear in mind I thought of the forenames before putting the surnames out to tender.
Dan Moody. I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I? Dan is married to Alice and father of Sally and Martin. He starts the story with a broken leg, which is one of the factors that decides the roles everyone else plays. However, I may never explain how he broke his leg. I know what happened, but it may not need revealing.
Alice Moody- wife of Dan, mother of Sally and Martin. This is the design I’m least happy with. I’ll get better at drawing her as the series goes on.
Martin Moody. Martin becomes the leader of the quickly formed “away team” in the first issue. A geek, but also into stuff like parkour.
Sally Moody. It’s been all I can do not to make the whole story about Sally and have her making all the cool discoveries and inventions. Originlly she was going to be sixteen, but I’ve aged her to just turned eighteen because there’s this solier she really fancies.
Geri Webster. Martin’s girlfriend. Shares a fascination with blowing things up with Sally, which means they’ve bonded when none of Martin’s previous girlfriends got on with his sister.
George Savage. Martin’s best friend. Martin’s had a falling out with his parents and they don’t talk much any more, so he spends a lot of time woith the Moodys when not at university.
There are a load of support characters to be designed, but I have the core and I have the layouts for the first twenty two pages. I really, really should get started.
Perhaps it’s because it’s Boyfriend Season and I’d like to think there are women out there hunting me. Maybe I’m just an incurable romantic. Could be it’s SAD and I need a warm body to cuddle. Whatever the reason, I was in exactly the right frame of mind to fall in love with Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist. I think it’s the first time I’ve watched one of my LoveFilm rentals twice before sending it back. And it’s only the second time I’ve decided to order a copy of the film for myself.
I’m not a rom-com fan, I usually go out of my way to avoid them. In several years of a film a week on Orange Wednesdays I think the only one we’ve seen is Love Actually (correct me if I’m wrong), which was mostly sugary sweetness wrapped around emptiness. Whilst Playlist has a few of the usual cliches, it is also full of details and characters to love.
Nick is the heartbroken bassist of the Jerk Offs- the straight third of a band without a drummer. Nora is the straight edge-y daughter of a famous father- mostly annoyed by the attention it brings her but not above using it to jump queues when the need arises- who’s in love with the mix cds Nick puts together for his bitchy ex. They meet when she asks him to pretend to be her boyfriend to annoy Tris- her “friend” and, though she doesn’t know it yet, his ex. From here the pair court- alternately bonding and falling out- over a long night of alternating quests. They want to find mythical band Where’s Fluffy? and must relocate Nora’s drunk friend Caroline, misplaced by Nick’s bandmates when they stop for hotdogs. All the while they’re pursued by Tris- who either can’t let her claws out of Nick or can’t stand to think of him with someone who brings out her insecurities- and hampered by Nora’s relationship with friend-with-benefits Tal- though she’s beginning to realise what a prick he is. It’s like the start of many relationships, albeit condensed, so it’s more realistic than your average rom-com. (And I’m not spoiling it by giving away the ending. For one thing it’s obvious and for another, it’s the getting there that’s the joy of the film.)
There’s a cool, indie tinged soundtrack, the camp Twelve Gays of Christmas (it’s not Christmas) and a cute sex scene which cleverly tells us all we need to know without showing us what’s going on and satisfyingly pays off an earlier scene. This isn’t a polished piece like so many others, and it’s more satisfyingly realistic for it.
It’s all set in New York- mostly Manhattan with a detour into Brooklyn as far as I could tell- so there’s the game of looking for landmarks, and places I visited on my one trip there. There’s Times Square, of course, and I spotted a Max Brenner through a window in one of the later scenes. Of course, because of all the films and TV series set there, we’ve all visited NYC several times. Which is one of the things that makes the “New York You’ve Changed” series at Scouting New York so fascinating. The eponymous Scout is comparing the city in films to how it is now. So far they’ve done Ghostbusters (part 1, part 2) and Taxi Driver (part 1, part 2 should be tomorrow).
Inspired by the Infinite Playlist (and the finite, but ridiculously long, playlist on my own computer) I want to write something romantic and funny again. I may finally get around to finishing Post and Publish, as I think I’ve been threatening every year since 2006. I may use it as a way to publish some of my favourite Spinneyhead posts, sliding them in between the fiction. I’d also like to film something in that vein, but that’s going to take a little longer. So, in the meantime, here are a few of the songs I’d put on my dream soundtrack-
Ida Maria – I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked
Wonder Stuff- Some Sad Someone
Obligatory Cure song, possibly Why Can’t I Be You?
Camper Van Beethoven- Life Is Grand
They all date me a bit, don’t they? A definite early ’90s feel to it all. Anybody else got any suggestions for songs that should be in films but never seem to make it?
From Conservapedia, the project set up to counter the liberal bias of Wikipedia (ie its insistence on editing out lies) comes the Conservative Bible Project. [Right now that link doesn’t work, it may be back by the time you click on it.]
As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:
1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”; using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”
The idea is to get enough people to buy the Maggie Thatcher death anthem the week she dies that it goes to number one and charts a single finger salute to the rusting lady. The problem is, it’s a bloody awful song, I couldn’t even watch the videos for it and “The Lady’s Not For Burning” all the way through.
I recommend Hefner’s The Day That Thatcher Dies instead-
As Frankie Boyle is leaving Mock The Week, here are a few clips I found on YouTube-
Up to 20 Muslim graves have been targeted and vandalised at a cemetery in south Manchester.
The vandals struck at the Southern Cemetery on Barlow Moor Road overnight on Thursday.
Staff found the Muslim section of the cemetery littered with broken headstones on Friday morning.
Det Con Rob Southern said: “Sadly, we are treating this as a hate crime. This sort of mindless, racist behaviour must be utterly condemned.”
Police appealed to anyone who has information to come forward.
Southern Cemetry’s a short walk from casa Spinneyhead. I’ve heardx about Jewish graves being vandalised before. Whether it turns out to be the same group of morons remains to be seen.