Daily archives: February 21, 2003

New Union Statement Released

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21/02/03 – London (Reuters) – A series of discussions with Tony Blair and the CEO of Spinneyhead have ended late this evening. The Spinneyhead Union Association is threatening a strike action if their demands for better worknig conditions and pay are not met. Spinneyhead maintains that modernisation of posting practices must happen before other issues can be resolved. Chief negotiator, John O., remained upbeat and expressed praise for Spinneyhead CEO Ian P’s handling of the current crisis.

“Spinneyhead is vital for people across the world and the SUA is committed to working through this with Ian P and his management team. As a result of todays talks, the SUA is pleased to annouce we have decided not to demand a $30,000 jacuzzi for the Scottish Office. With this gesture it is clearly time for Spinneyhead to make some inroads as well. Ian P stated in the meeting today he was not going to be actively involved with the business over the next two weeks and we urge him to take this time to improve the site! Obviously if he is not surfing or working, he surely can lead the charge to improve working conditions and let the world know Spinneyhead cares about its employees and readers alike.”

Attempts to contact Ian P were unsuccessful. A spokesperson in their Manchester offices stated a statement would be released after a meeting to agree the new site colour scheme, purportedly remoured to be Puce.

Tables

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The Spinneyhead layout works in IE, Opera and Netscape, but Mozilla is the only thing that has ever had issues and was incapable of displaying the table properly (though if you clicked through to a link and then came back, it was laid out properly. I know most surfers don’t do this, but it’s an interesting effect.) The HTML is ploddingly simple, I don’t think there are any browser specific tags in there, so I don’t know how I could change it. Logo when I get the time can be arsed. I’m slowly rolling out stuff like CSS, so it should all get easier to maintain. I’ll consider the call to go over to left hand drive, mind, and I am about due another change of background colour.

Of course, I’ll only change anything if I can find a coalition of the willing to back me up on going Puce and displaying all the text as Courier

Sabbatical

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A guy gets three laptops and suddenly he thinks he can unionise!

Well, little Johnny Hoffa can organise teamster spinneyhead over the next fortnight, because my posts are going to be sparse as I wait for BTOpenWorld to reconnect me to broadband (BT broadband could have done it the same day, but OpenWorld, because I’ve also got them as my ISP, have got to make it as complicated as possible. I think they’re hoping I’ll forget so they can charge me the default penalty).

I’ll still be posting from work mind.

Late Breaking Union Update!

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21/02/03 – London (Reuters) – .A series of discussions held by the Spinneyhead Union Association (SUA) has resulted in a complete list of demands alongside a timetable for implementation. Chief Negotiator, John O., and his fellow union activists, Mr. Frost and Alan, appeared to be in upbeat spirits after a one to one meeting with Tony Blair regarding the contentious issue of site redesign and compensation demands put forth by the SUA. John O. when asked about the tone of the meeting stated “We will be issuing a press packet over the weekend and are confident the management will realise how vital these issues are to the further success of Spinneyhead Inc. My good friend Tony Blair has agreed to intercede and facilitate these negotions. His participation shows what a strike could do the economy and how this neglect by management must be resolved.”

The union has stated in its demands that the timetable to meet union demands was one week and a show of good faith by some immediate web site improvement. In adddition, the union has asked for working conditions to be improved by the installation of one these in the Scottish office.

Attempts to track down the CEO of Spinneyhead Inc., were unsuccessful as he is receiving intensive treatment at an undisclosed location for mental health issues. A person taking calls for the elusive CEO, Ian P, said Spinneyhead would make a position statement as soon as the CEO was back from annual leave. The Spinneyhead Management team has caused controversy before by allowing a certain member of management to wallow in self pity and talk publicly about his still remaining feelings for his girlfriend he dated at some point in the late 1980s

I second the motion

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John has a real point about the site design. It only seems to work with Internet Explorer. As a big Mozilla fan (ever onwards the open source revolution!) I would like to see some HTML that doesn’t use IE specific code and doesn’t fuck up if your not using a Microsoft product. I also feel that the column of links should be on the right and we should have something that at least resembles a logo. In fact I would hold up my own site (seldom updated as it is) as beacon showing the way forwards for Spinneyhead (except for the fact that I’ve used frames which really don’t go well with blogger). The Spinneyhead management must listen to our demands or face open revolt!

Union Protest

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After a fierce discussion between the boys over at the Spinneyhead Union headquarters, the staff have voted in favour of a series of strilkes unless demands are met by the overbearing and antiquate Spinneyhead management.

Aside from asking for a 40% wage rise over three years, making the yearly salary still zero, the union demands better posting conditions as stated:

1. Flash graphics for the viewing public.

2. Better site design, incorporating elements from new lines launched during New York fashion week by Stella MacCartney and Calvin Klien

3. Better links – hopefully to pr0n, but hey, anything will be better than the paypal button and blogspot links

4. New background colours – see point two