Daily archives: October 10, 2007

Elvis lives and Carter break America

“When you’re young you can eat what you like, drink what you like and still fit into your twenty six inch waist trousers…Then you reach that age 24, 25… your muscles give up, they wave a little white flag – and without any warning at all you are suddenly a FAT BASTARD!”

I have copies of all the songs on You Fat Bastard, the soon to be released Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine retrospective. But I might be tempted to pick it up for better quality versions of some of the songs.

I couldn’t find Surfin’ USM on YouTube, so here’s The Only Living Boy in New Cross-

And After The Watershed-

I remember pulling to After The Watershed, which seems a little wrong when you think about it.

Gordon is a Moron

I’ve been going out with a girl,
her name is Julie
But last night she said to me,
when we were watching telly

(This is what she said)

She said listen John, I love you
But there’s this bloke, I fancy
I don’t want to two time you,
so it’s the end for you and me

Who’s this bloke I asked her
Goooooordon, she replied
Not THAT puff, I said dismayed
Yes but he’s no puff she cried

(He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be)

Here we go, two three four

I was so upset that I cried,
all the way to the chip shop

When I came out there was Gordon,
standing at the bus stop

(And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me)

Oh, she is cruel and heartless
to pack me for Gordon
Just cos he’s better looking than me
Just cos he’s cool and trendy

But I know he’s a moron, Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron

Here we go, two three four

Oh she’s a slag and he’s a creep
She’s a tart, he’s very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he’s tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff
Yeah yeah, it’s not fair
Yeah yeah, it’s not fair

(I’m so upset)

I’m so upset, I’m so upset, yeah yeah

(I ought to smash his face in.)

(Yeah, but he’s bigger than me. In’t he?)

(I know, I’ll get my mate Barry to hit him. He’d flatten him)

(Yeah but Barry’s a mate of Gordon’s in’e?)

(Oh well, I don’t care)

I don’t care
I don’t care
Cause she’s a slag and he’s a creep
she’s a tart, he’s very cheap
she is a slut, he thinks he’s tough……

Jilted John – Jilted John

Jilted John’s 3rd Top of the Pops appearance.

Gordon Brown is a Moron

Jilted John Sims


Lorna took possession of a few Joes and Transformers whilst in the US. JOE035 was left atop the Empire State building. You can see more pictures in her Facebook gallery here.

In memory of Andy McCruden. To find out more about Andy read the obituaries on Spinneyhead and UK-Rag. To make a donation please go to the justgiving page set up to remember him.