Listening to the news this morning I’ve had this image in my head. It’s a panel from the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons Time Twister “Chrono Cops”.
The Social Democrat Party still exists. That’s something of a surprise.
David Cameron is the new Prime Minister. No news yet of whether the Tories are in coalition with the Lib Dems.
Gordon Brown has announced his resignation. He won’t be stepping down immediately, but plans to be out of the way by the LAbour party conference in September.
‘Nuff said.
It’s the second of the Leaders’ debates tonight, and I should be listening to it if I don’t get distracted by Episodes from Liberty City
These look like they’ll become an election fixture, so it’s time to start thinking about a drinking game. Gather around your television or radio and take a drink every time-
Nick Clegg mentions Sheffield, where he’s an MP.
Gordon Brown makes a lame and obviously scripted joke.
David Cameron starts an anecdote with “Recently I was in <city> where I met a….”
Anyone mentions Eton.
The chairman has to shout.
You still find yourself thinking “So that’s what Nick Clegg looks like.”
Watching it on Sky HD bonus addition
Gordon Brown in high definition makes you shudder.
Not-sober-until-Sunday optional additions-
Anyone mentions Trident
Anyone mentions Afghanistan
Anyone mentions “Our brave troops (boys/men and women etc.)
Permanent liver damage (but worth it) bonus
Gordon Brown says “Of course Tony was lying about WMDs and we all knew he was.”
I listened to the leaders’ debate on Radio 4 last night, so I didn’t get to judge any of the body language. And I’m easily distracted, so I kept reading stuff at the same time and not paying total attention. With those provisos I, like so many others, am going to declare Nick Clegg the winner. His constant referrals to “Sheffield, where I’m MP” grated a little, but it wasn’t as painful as Brown’s laboured attempts at jokes or Cameron’s smarm.
So the Lib Dem leader has gone from “Who?” to a refreshing alternative to the tired other two. Therefore his performance is being attacked by MPs from Labour and the Tories. Tom Harris- whose online persona I quite like, even if he has now slipped into bitchy campaign mode- tries to tell us the debate wasn’t that important after all. Meanwhile John Redwood- who’s unlikeable online or off- tries to throw some mud.
Congratulations to Nick Clegg. He’s got the two main parties worried. Certainly, he’s not going to be Prime Minister, but he could end up holding the balance of power and that’s got Labour and the Conservatives worried.
Tom Harris MP has pointed out the main problem with this election, though I’m not sure that’s exactly what he meant to do. Come May 7th we’ll have to put up with one of two unpalatable leaders. Gordon Brown is the least nauseating of the two, even though he’s not particularly likeable and the party he leads has given us Afghanistan, Iraq, PFIs, multiple useless laws and the Digital Economy Bill. Cameron tries hard to be likeable, but he’s still the leader of the Tory party. Which counts amongst its members people like John Redwood, former Shadow Secretary for the Environment, Transport and the Regions who goes out of his way to suck up to the climate change denier demographic.
So the choice is the devil we know or the devil we don’t want to know. Mr Harris seems to be saying that we can vote for change* all we like, but we’re not going to get any. No wonder so few people vote when the options are put to them in those terms.
*By which I mean actual change, not the Tories “Change” which is just them being on the other side of the chamber.
I used to know the world’s most reliable man. If he said he’d do something it wouldn’t get done, if he said he’d be somewhere at a certain time he’d fail to turn up, telling you he was only five minutes away meant he was in a different city. His combination of lies and incompetence was so consistent that it was possible to make plans based upon the opposite of what he said.
The General Election has reminded me of him. That the three main parties are launching their manifestos this week, starting with Labour today, is giving me more flashbacks.
About bloody time too. Gordon Brown has announced the General Election will be on May 6th.
