Nick Clegg

This government is so bad I don’t even know where to start

This entry was posted in Conservative David Cameron George Osborne Nick Clegg on by

I want to direct some justified anger at the government. They seem intent on destroying everything good about this country and leaving behind a wasteland which only benefits billionaire tax evaders, incompetent bankers and Paul Dacre.

The problem is, almost every week they do something else appalling and the anger gets diverted and redirected. It’s almost as if their survival policy is to keep wrong-footing decent people by throwing up a smokescreen of ever changing petty, sociopathic, shit ideas so that we’re too confused about what we should be aiming at. Anyone who tried to confront Cameron, Osborne or Clegg with even a small list of the things they’re fucking up would run the risk of looking like a babbling, incoherent weirdo.

Having said all that, here’s another five reasons to hate these scum.

It used to be that when politicians wanted to bury bad news they’d orchestrate its release to time with a distracting event. Seeing Iain Duncan Smith publicly criticized for wasting at least £140 million of public money over Universal Credit at the start of this month, it struck me how we’ve slowly reached another level. “Unmitigated disaster”? “Alarmingly weak”? These words were used to describe Universal Credit but could easily have been levelled at a number of largely unreported changes to the benefit system. Nowadays, bad news is buried by even worse news. The sheer volume of inefficient and unethical changes to social security this Government has enacted means some of it doesn’t even get noticed. Which, for a set of politicians hacking at vulnerable people’s support systems, is worryingly convenient.

So, here’s five benefit changes the government doesn’t want you to know about.

5 benefit changes the government don't want you to know about.

The Government wants to waste our money spying on our emails

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The Government is looking to spend up to £2billion finding ways to read everyone’s internet and email traffic. Whilst they’re expecting the rest of us to suffer through their cuts they’re wasting a huge amount on a scheme which will achieve nothing, apart from maybe generating tons of false positives from people discussing their latest exploits in Medal of Honor.

The Open Rights Group has a petition to sign to tell Clegg, Cameron and Theresa May how bad an idea you think this is.

(It’s tempting, after two posts featuring reference to Godwin’s Law, to claim that this is just the sort of things the Nazis would have done. But some people have a hard time recognising sarcasm/irony, so I’ll let it be.)

Hung Parliament to be decided on eBay 1

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You are bidding for the affections of this man, a Spanish speaking manufacturer and creator of kings. Yes, if you need a king swiftly fabricated, then this is your man! May be interested in part exchange for electoral reform and break-up of financial institutions, WHY – cash either way.

No “buy-it-now” price but make him an offer and he’ll do you a deal!

May be of use to those with an interest in running the country.

Cash on collection.

Those with less than 220 seats, contact me first before bidding. Advertised due to nation of timewasters. Please do not bid if you cannot make up your mind.

The Leaders’ Debate drinking game (suggestions welcome) 1

This entry was posted in David Cameron General Election 2010 Gordon Brown Nick Clegg Tony Blair on by

It’s the second of the Leaders’ debates tonight, and I should be listening to it if I don’t get distracted by Episodes from Liberty City.

These look like they’ll become an election fixture, so it’s time to start thinking about a drinking game. Gather around your television or radio and take a drink every time-

Nick Clegg mentions Sheffield, where he’s an MP.

Gordon Brown makes a lame and obviously scripted joke.

David Cameron starts an anecdote with “Recently I was in <city> where I met a….”

Anyone mentions Eton.

The chairman has to shout.

You still find yourself thinking “So that’s what Nick Clegg looks like.”

Watching it on Sky HD bonus addition

Gordon Brown in high definition makes you shudder.

Not-sober-until-Sunday optional additions-

Anyone mentions Trident

Anyone mentions Afghanistan

Anyone mentions “Our brave troops (boys/men and women etc.)

Permanent liver damage (but worth it) bonus

Gordon Brown says “Of course Tony was lying about WMDs and we all knew he was.”

Who’s afraid of the big bad Nick Clegg 1

This entry was posted in David Cameron General Election 2010 Gordon Brown John Redwood Nick Clegg Tom Harris on by

I listened to the leaders’ debate on Radio 4 last night, so I didn’t get to judge any of the body language. And I’m easily distracted, so I kept reading stuff at the same time and not paying total attention. With those provisos I, like so many others, am going to declare Nick Clegg the winner. His constant referrals to “Sheffield, where I’m MP” grated a little, but it wasn’t as painful as Brown’s laboured attempts at jokes or Cameron’s smarm.

So the Lib Dem leader has gone from “Who?” to a refreshing alternative to the tired other two. Therefore his performance is being attacked by MPs from Labour and the Tories. Tom Harris- whose online persona I quite like, even if he has now slipped into bitchy campaign mode- tries to tell us the debate wasn’t that important after all. Meanwhile John Redwood- who’s unlikeable online or off- tries to throw some mud.

Congratulations to Nick Clegg. He’s got the two main parties worried. Certainly, he’s not going to be Prime Minister, but he could end up holding the balance of power and that’s got Labour and the Conservatives worried.

From ships to turbines- a future for British shipbuilding?

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I still couldn’t pick NicK Clegg out of a line up, but he and the Lib Dems seem to be the only one of the big three parties coming up with any interesting policies. As Labour and the Tories descend further into (occasionally amusing) poster remixes the Liberal Democrats are putting forward solid suggestions.

For example, as reported by Left Foot Forward, they’d invest in converting shipbuilding facilities into wind turbine factories, so that we don’t have to keep outsourcing their construction. This one works coming and going- cut carbon emissions whilst creating jobs in the UK. With time, we could even become an exporter of turbines and wind technology.