The Legend of the Mall Ninja

This is the internet’s must have link today. So far I’ve seen it on BoingBoing and William Gibson’s blog. From there it’ll go everywhere. Like here, for instance.

The legend of the Mall Ninja- ninjitsu trained, heavily armed, long gun owning, former special ops assassins keeping America’s shopping malls, and the anal virginiy of the young boys who frequent them, safe.

But then again I think of the mayors nephew, his face distored with tears and terror, the GAP employees who asked for my autograph, and had to settle for a cover identity’s signature, the flashbangs, and their acrid scent, the small of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot, the target practice with my dearest comrades and friends, the members of my teams, and our live fire exercises-Can I leave it all behind? should I?

Or is my life better spent as the silent, alert, stalwart, invisible guardian of the free mall.

I cannot tell.

The scary thing is, before they descend into name calling and extreme delusion the ramblings of Gecko45 and SPECOPS sound uncannily like the editorial line of the imported gun magazines I used to read.

The Machine Girl

It’s got ninjas! Revenge! Dismemberment! Lots and lots of blood! What more could we want?

The Machine Girl. The trailer’s bloodier than the average action film.

It looks like the sort of film that would join our Monday night crap film list, alongside the likes of The Ultimate Ninja, TNT Jackson and tonight’s event- Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold

Be A Good Ninja!

Be A Good Ninja!
Originally uploaded by spinneyhead.

A message that is relevant to all of us, I feel.

First of a possible series of Ninspirations, inspirational messages from ninja movies. This Ninspiration is taken from Ultimate Ninja, available on Amazon for the princely sum of 35p (though we got our copy for 10p). It’s every bit as so-bad-it’s-brilliant as you’d expect a 10p movie to be.