Monthly archives: April 2003


Inspired by Daz’s post, I e-mailed a complaint to Radio One about Chris Moyles. My general complaint about Chris Moyle’s is that he’s a talentless Chris Evans wannabe (and Evans is a talentless Howard Stern wannabe!), but I kept my message related to the xenophobia Daz pointed out. A few days ago I got a reply from the Beeb Programme Complaints Unit, on paper no less-

Dear Mr Pattinson

Thank you for your e-mail of 4 April 2003.

We’ve thought carefully about the issue you raise, but don’t feel it involves standards questions in the sense that would fall within the scope of our Unit. We do also feel, though, that it’s important for the programme-makers concerned to be aware of your reaction, so we’ll be sending them a copy of what you have written.

If you have any points to make in response, I will ask them to contact you direct. But in any event I am sure they will take note of what you say and bear it in mind when planning future coverage.

Yours sincerely……

Oh well, maybe one day we can really get rid of him and make the airwaves a nicer place.

I must tell the whole world!!!

Ok. I can contain my secret for no longer. I have become addicted to Project Rockstar on the internet. Lets just put it this way, mucho effort went into this game and it is brilliant! The purpose:

Create and manage band(s) and enjoy the benefits of being a rock star manager! You have to watch the charts, buy goodies to impress the ladies and just go to the site now!

Make sure you check out my band of indie slackers that used to be cool until corporate turned them into an icon for the aging gen-x set and stupid kids! They are called MONEYSHOT!

Heavensent- Chapter 9, Part 10

The wing was flying low, torpedo height. Fire was reaching out from the ship, still falling short. �They will find us soon.� Karn whispered.

�We hold steady.�

�I know.�

The front bomb bay held six torpedoes on an S-curve rail. They would be fed one by one out of the quarter width door. �Torpedo gone! Bank!� The light bank as the rest of the torpedoes were released spread them in a narrow fan.

�Pull out!� The anti air was closing on them now, tracer passing on either side. There were cracks as shells hit home.

�Hydraulic pressure on the bay doors has dropped off.� Karn announced, �Switching to back up. Nothing. We can not open the rear doors.�

Four of the torpedoes struck home, raising towers of water. The ship began to list immediately, flooding faster than bulkheads could be closed.

One ship remained, but it was out of range of the Waltzer and the old attack ship had some free space to close on the transports.

�Hand crank the front bay closed. We are heading home.�


�Hardly. I do not think there is enough of Stran left. Communications, raise the Corkscrews, and anyone else you can, and tell them we have to retire.�

Harren adjusted his course so they passed by the Waltzer again, wagging the wing as it passed. �And the best of luck to you brave souls.�

How bout them apples?

The Op-Ed piece today in the New York Times states the following about how the case for war was hogwash:

“One wonders whether most of the public will ever learn that the original case for war has turned out to be false. In fact, my guess is that most Americans believe that we have found W.M.D.’s. Each potential find gets blaring coverage on TV; how many people catch the later announcement � if it is ever announced � that it was a false alarm? It’s a pattern of misinformation that recapitulates the way the war was sold in the first place. Each administration charge against Iraq received prominent coverage; the subsequent debunking did not. ”

*Registration Required

** To The New York Times – I still have not received my referral contribution cheques!


The Adventures of Luther Arkwright is set to be turned into a film. The only picture I have on my wall at the moment is a print of ‘The Battle of London’ signed by Bryan Talbot, depicting a climactic moment in the story. This is a very important comic, at least as much so as Watchmen or Dark Knight Returns, though it never got the attention it deserved.

With enough care and attention, the movie could work as a dark SF thriller/ action movie with a couple of scenes calling for Matrix style fight sequences and bullet time. Without it it could turn into Bulletproof Monk, fun but inconsequential, or- even worse- a Jean Claude Van Damme vehicle.

Soldier Bot

120 robotic soldiers, using behaviour modelled upon insect swarms, are to be tested by the US military. Another of the elements I was going to put into Sounds of Soldiers were swarms like this that had been given too complex behaviours and a too high desire to survive, which basically would revolt and desert when asked to go into battle for real.

via GeekPress

Art for Art's Sake

I was in the Whitworh gallery last week, and I have to admit I did wonder how firmly attached some of the paintings were to the walls. But it wasn’t me who nicked a few modern masters and then left them behind a nearby public toilet.

I haven’t been to too many really bad concerts, but I can honestly say I wouldn’t sue a band for being crap at a performance. A sensible person would just stop buying their records, but in litigation land everyone’s out to make some money from it all.

Signing On

It’s good to see the Jobcentre people are just as incompetent as ever. I went to the Rusholme jobcentre last Tuesday to arrange a new claim, only to be told I had to do that through the new call centre- go and use one of those phones over there. So I used the phone, in the jobcentre, to call the call centre. “Oh no,” they said, “you’ve got to go to the jobcentre to arrange a new claim.” So I walked back over to reception and told the man there. He was pissed off about this, in a slightly camp way, and called the call centre to make them take my call. I talked to a very apologetic man on the other end of the line and he arranged my interview for today. Problem solved.

Or so I thought. I received two packs of signing on paperwork. Ignoring the second one, I filled everything out last night. When I turned up this morning and handed over the covering letter (which I admit I had only skim read for the time) it turned out to say my interview wasn’t until the 6th of May. I wandered back and ripped open the second envelope. The cover letter in this one said my interview was today. Back to the JC and hand this one over. “Your name’s not on the list.” why am I not surprised? “And you’ve been booked in with the single parent adviser.” !!!!?????

Credit to the people in the Jobcentre, they made time for me- and didn’t once ask about my children, and were very apologetic about it all.

I’m off to see a recruitment consultant this afternoon. Hopefully I can have a job again before my next signing date.

Bike Porn

It’s a good job I’m broke, because if I wasn’t, I would have been after a few hours in a huge room of bikes and bits. I’m 90% certain that my next bike should be a BMX, though I’m not sure what size of little bike would be right for me. Of course, I could go off the wall and get the recumbent BMX trike that some of the kids were showing off. An adult version will be available pretty soon, built quite heftily from square tubing it’s going to be a bit heavier than these lovely but expensive road/touring trikes. Laid back in a completely different way are these lowrider and Chopper bikes, great for popping to the pub of a chilled summer Sunday, but a little impractical for daily use. You really need a folding bike for that. Pashley remain totally cool whilst the next stupid craze (the manufacturers hope) is the three wheeled scooter. God help me, but I entered a competition to win one.
It wasn’t all bikes, there were components as well. The major theme seemed to be lights with everything, whether for safety or decoration. A clunky combined indicator and brakelight set just looks horribly wrong. Far cooler were the brake pads with built in pressure sensors and an LED which lit up as the pads pressed against the rim, but sadly I can’t find a page for them. Anyone worried about saddle related impotence, or those of us with fat arses (surely a result of not cycling enough, so something of a small demographic amongst cyclists) should invest in the Comfort Saddle, another horribly wrong looking component.
Gotta make lottsa money in the next year so I can go and buy stuff next year, and go to other events such as the Red Bull bike battle or the National Adventure Sports Show.

Stupidity and wacky hijinxs

I must admit BIS were the business. Sure anti-pop, possibly a roll-on, but more than likely a spray. BK03 is in a matter of hours and the damn bastard webmaster of the Greatest Website Ever Told will be sleeping on a train getting ready for a day of amazing crap you and i don’t even have a chance to do. Life is good when professional BMX’ers and skaters mess about.

The Bisness

What do you expect from me? It’s one in the morning and I’m supposed to be getting up stupidly early tomorrow and going to the Bike Show (might happen). Bis were excellent, I’m just sorry it’s the last chance I’ll get to see them (barring the reunion tour some time in 2011 of course) Now I have to go and buy all their albums. Also worth mentioning were Hooker, a bit Elastica, a bit Blur, all good, hopefully they can have a breakthrough sometime soon. I’d like to say you heard it here first, but, as there’s a site about them, you didn’t.

Hats off to Heena, who organised the gig and other LadyFest stuff. She’s still short and cute and talks ten-to-the-dozen, but she’d cut all her hair off, so I wasn’t sure it was her until she recognised me.