Zombie Barbie

Sadly Ebay won’t let me easily embed the image on here, you’ll have to click through to see it in all its glory. You have one day to buy this unique bust.

Zombie Barbie Bust

“Retro 80’s doll rises from the dead”

This resin bust was inspired by the “Walking Dead – Bicycle Girl Zombie” and has been sculpted, cast in resin and handpainted by myself.

The bust features some amazing detail including – Dead Kens head – with exposed brains, Barbies broken arm and hand, a Severed Barbie doll foot, exposed ribs, torn off jaw, skeletal backbone, torn and wrinkled flesh, Barbie hair, flocked base with swamp effect grass, dirt and sticks.

This is a truly amazing piece and features an outstanding paintjob, including zombie toned flesh, veins and blood splats etc.

Unfortunately the pictures do not do this piece justice as they show up very red for some reason, and also the gloss wet look varnish has a bit too much shine on camera.

This will make a great addition to any Horror Collection and I will only be making a limited number – and this is #1

“This thing is Gross, Get it off the kitchen table” – My girlfriend

“Awesome mate” – Chris from work

“I want one” – Everyone who has seen it so far!!

Come on Barbie, let’s go wife swapping

Jack Ryan, the man who created Barbie and Ken, as well as Hot Wheels and other classic Mattel products, was a very naughty boy. In fact he was “a ‘full blown seventies-style swinger’ who patronised ‘high class call girls to streetwalkers’ in his quest for excitement”. Not that any of that really matters, even if his horniness may have led to Barbie’s impossible physique, it just makes for a silly story.

C'mon Barbie let's go Guantanamo

Once upon a time, at a Beer Fest long, long ago, I raised over £100 to drive a nail through the CD of Barbie Girl (does anyone have pictures?) A recent survey of 11 year olds has revealed a similar attitude to the doll itself, with many of them being tortured and dismembered.

“The girls we spoke to see Barbie torture as a legitimate play activity, and see the torture as a ‘cool’ activity in contrast to other forms of play with the doll,” said Dr Agnes Nairn, who headed the study.

“The types of mutilation are varied and creative, and range from removing the hair to decapitation, burning, breaking and even microwaving.”

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Who gets to keep the My Little Ponies?

Once upon a long ago I met an American exchange student called Cindy. I think she was from one of the middle states, where the corn, and the blondes, grow tall. The statuesque figure, and the name, led me to call her Barbie. Then I had to explain how Sindy was the British Barbie and so on.

I wasn’t even very, very drunk, either. Later, her boyfriend (I didn’t call him Ken) asked me for relationship advice.

Mad fool.

Anyway, I digress. It seems Barbie and Ken- the real Barbie and Ken- are to split up.

Pika Boom!

Oldhacks reminded me of the whole PikaBoom adventure. Inspired by my nailing of Barbie Girl, Ents decided to go one better and obliterate the little yellow bastard.

Explosives were no problem to get hold of. We happened to have some lying around, er, I mean safely stored away (in a locked metal box, next to a can of diesel and a box of matches – I kid you not!).