Satire


A little Sunday morning Photoshop- Nothing of value inside…

Nothing Of Value Inside

Number 10 door from the official 10 Downing Street Flickr account. Used, as far as I can tell, within the rights assigned to the photo. ‘Nothing of value….’ sign photographed by me yesterday*.

*On what used to be Walkabout, on Quay Street. I don’t think I ever went in, but I did photograph racists forming up for a march outside it.

You can share larger versions from Flickr, if you’d like.


Israel left reeling after Cameron almost criticises it – Pride’s Purge

Israeli officials were left reeling today after UK prime minister David Cameron very nearly pledged to almost criticise them.

In a dramatic turnaround, Mr Cameron shocked political pundits after he blasted the Israeli Army for massacring civilians in Gaza by not quite saying something not very nice about it.

Read the rest at- Israel left reeling after Cameron almost criticises it | Pride's Purge.


Homeopathy product recalled over fears it may contain actual medicine – The Independent

When I first read the headline in my Facebook feed, I thought it had to come from the Daily Mash or some other satire site. But, no, it’s genuine.

Yet in a series of tests by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA), it was found that a variety of tablets, capsules, drops and suppositories – with names like “Pleo-QUENT” and “Pleo-STOLO” – actually contained quantities of penicillin.

via Homeopathy product recalled over fears it may contain actual medicine – Americas – World – The Independent.


The perfect Christmas gift for any teachers you know

gove-teach

Over 90 blank pages of Gove’s teaching wisdom – the perfect gift to put a smile on the face of any UK-based teacher. Empty chapters have individual headings, including: “My teaching experience”; and “Why teachers admire me”. Pages are lined for convenient use as a notebook.

Everything I know about teaching: Amazon.co.uk: Mr Michael Gove: Books.


Is there an internet law about how some people are just too dumb to have a clue? 8

The Onion could probably do a good piece on some idiot calling for a repeal of Godwin’s Law and their made up fool wouldn’t sound any more clueless than Stewart Cowan when he demands the same thing. Now I know that I’ve slightly abused the definition of Godwin’s Law myself on occasion, but I at least understand it and its purpose. Godwin’s Law states- “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.” The longer and more heated a debate becomes, the more likely someone is to lose perspective and start comparing their opponents to Hitler. There is a corollory to the law which suggests that, in a civilised debate, the person who has just proven themselves an idiot automatically loses, the thread is officially closed and everyone should move on. Cowan isn’t very good at civilised debate.

You know the type-

“I’m not allowed to inflict my poisonous and foul smelling addiction on other people in pubs any more! It’s just like the Nazis!”

“The speed limit around schools has dropped to twenty, so that I’m less likely to kill children! It’s just like the Nazis!”

“I have to put a little thought into which bin I use! That might make me stop and realise how much waste I’m generating! It’s just like the Nazis!”

“I’m not allowed to use my religion to justify breaking the law and discriminating against people! It’s just like the Nazis!”

“People are paying more attention to the carefully researched, proven facts than my poorly thought out propaganda! It’s just like the Nazis!”

Etc.

Cowan is more eager than most to brand anyone doing something he doesn’t agree with a fascist. Even when he’s tackling something I could agree is objectionable, he’s too eager to go all frothy at the mouth to ever elicit any empathy from me. Somehow the fact that the majority of people polled didn’t think it’s a good idea to let idiot Americans pay addicts to be neutered passed him by. He’d rather lament about how it’s evil that some people like to stay in touch with reality when he thinks they should be joining him in his fantasy world.

I’m sure Stewart Cowan’s anger keeps him warm at night, but he’s the blogger who cried wolf- repeatedly and loudly- and has proven he has nothing useful to add to any debate.


Would you trust Benedict brand condoms?

A junior civil servant has been “put on other duties” after distributing a memo with some silly, and quite funny, suggestions for events to mark Pope Benedict’s visit to the UK in September.

The Foreign Office has apologised for a “foolish” document which suggested the Pope’s visit to the UK could be marked by the launch of “Benedict” condoms.

Called “The ideal visit would see…”, it said the Pope could be invited to open an abortion clinic and bless a gay marriage during September’s visit.

…..

The document went on to propose the Pope could apologise for the Spanish Armada or sing a song with the Queen for charity.

It listed “positive” public figures who could be made part of the Pope’s visit, including former Prime Minister Tony Blair and 2009 Britain’s Got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle, and those considered “negative”, such as Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney and prominent atheist Richard Dawkins.

If anyone should be apologising at the moment it should be the Catholic church, for so many things I won’t even start listing them.


Sarah Palin wants to sue the internet

Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska on Friday. So news organisations and bloggers have been speculating about her reasons. The mad woman has tweeted a few comments about getting the truth out to the American people and had her lawyer send out threats to anyone she thinks will say things she doesn’t want heard.

This is the woman some fools want to run for President of the USA in 2012. (She’s also the inspiration for the big war in Sounds Of Soldiers. I imagined a world where McCain won last year’s election then died, leaving a scary, incoherent, ignorant woman in charge of the most powerful military in the world.)


The Legend of the Mall Ninja

This is the internet’s must have link today. So far I’ve seen it on BoingBoing and William Gibson’s blog. From there it’ll go everywhere. Like here, for instance.

The legend of the Mall Ninja- ninjitsu trained, heavily armed, long gun owning, former special ops assassins keeping America’s shopping malls, and the anal virginiy of the young boys who frequent them, safe.

But then again I think of the mayors nephew, his face distored with tears and terror, the GAP employees who asked for my autograph, and had to settle for a cover identity’s signature, the flashbangs, and their acrid scent, the small of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot, the target practice with my dearest comrades and friends, the members of my teams, and our live fire exercises-Can I leave it all behind? should I?

Or is my life better spent as the silent, alert, stalwart, invisible guardian of the free mall.

I cannot tell.

The scary thing is, before they descend into name calling and extreme delusion the ramblings of Gecko45 and SPECOPS sound uncannily like the editorial line of the imported gun magazines I used to read.