The Boeing 727 which disappeared in May has been seen, with a new but shoddy paintjob, in Guinea, hauling cargo for its new owners. Not, as some intelligence officials thought, loaded up with fuel and kamikazed into a US embassy.

via Ben Hammersley

I have seen this before but it still amuses me:

A Call for More Scientific Truth in Product Warning Labels by Susan Hewitt and Edward Subitzky

As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards legislation that requires the prominent placing of warnings on products that present hazards to the general public. Yet we must also offer the cautionary thought that such warnings, however well-intentioned, merely scratch the surface of what is really necessary in this important area. This is especially true in light of the findings of 2Oth century physics. We are therefore proposing that, as responsible scientists, we join together in an intensive push for new laws that will mandate the conspicuous placement of suitably informative warnings on the packaging of every product offered for sale in the United States of America. Our suggested list of warnings appears below.

WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.

WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.

CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.

HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.

CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the “Uncertainty Principle”, It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.

ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as Tunneling, This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbour’s Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.

READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.

THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.

PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.

NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a Gluing Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.

ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.

NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are Rolled Up into Such a Small Area That They Cannot Be Detected.

PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.

COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.

HEAL TH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.

More pics.

The novelty might wear off, one day.

Can you tell your programming language creators from your serial killers? I got 8 out of 10.

Thanks to Penny for this one.

This article on illegal cockling is packed full of innuendo potential, but it’s also an enlightening look at the Black economy.

I’d forgotten I was working in Cheshire, with England’s highest concentration of millionaires, until I looked in the (very large and full of shiny things) window of one of the shops on the market square and went bibble at the price of a Rolex. More astounding were the Vertu mobile phones, which start at �3,750! For that sort of money I’d expect a James Bond laser and fully interactive holographic display, at least.

And I quote, from Ian:

BBC NEWS Health Penis is a competitive beast

Just read the rest straight from the BBC, here.

What’s your Pirate name?

As most of you will be aware Arnold Schwarzenegger is running for governor of California. I think the movie Conan the Barbarian gives some hints on how he’ll run his campaign

General: “Conan, what is best in life?”

Conan: “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!”

So, a typical Republican campaign then.

Ben Hammersley, in the Guardian, investigates ways to make the web pay, reckoning it’s reached the stage where the most popular bloggers could make a living out of it.

The plan has never been to make a living solely from Spinneyhead, but it does exist as a sort of force multiplier- a way to add value to traditionally distributed products and create and maintain interest in them (I know they’re a long time coming, but I am basically lazy after all). Now that I’m using CafePress again expect to see a few more T-Shirts and I’m mulling over ideas for their new publishing service. And this morning I was contemplating providing some of the best Spinneyhead photos as wallpaper for PCs or mobiles, perhaps I could charge 10p a go for them using the Bitpass product mentioned in the article.

The plaque outside my office



Melons!

And you know how some people, when they get their hands on a friends phone cam, can’t resist the temptation to take a picture of themselves? Well, they really ought to learn to delete the pictures afterwards.

These are some slightly amusing cartoon jokes.

The depleted Wasp squadron flew over Stran island. No defensive guns fired on them. Black smoke from the fires whorled around the ends of their wings as they passed through it. On the ground small figures ran to and from the flames. They would make easy targets for a strafing run, but the Wasp pilots were heading for their moments of glory in the fjord.

There were small boats on the grand lake behind the island, turning in tight fvast circles to keep from being easy targets. Spotting the Wasps, they broke from their pattern and started heading into the attack in line abreast. Anti air arced up long before it could be effective.

The Wing split, the incendiary armed Cicciles and half the Wasps going high, thye rest divbing for water level. The low group hadn’t quite reached zero spans when they came within range of the anti air. A Wasp was hit, one engine flaming briefly the trailing black smoke, as tracer webbed around the planes. At wave height the planes flattened out, so low each trailed its own wake. The closing speed was phenomenal, and at zero elevation the gunners on the boats found their shells sailed over the planes.

Two of the boats turned away from the attack, presenting larger and easier targets. They were sliced by lines of converging gunfire as the plnes opened up on them. The opthers fared better, presenting smaller targets, but the white spray from falling rounds traced toward them.

And then the planes were past the boats. Apart from one Ciccile, which pulled up too late and shattered its propeller on the radio mast of the boat it flew over. The plane dived, like a sea bird after fish, under the water. The rest of the flight didn’t see vit pop back to the surface several counts later. The pilot, dazed but not even wet yet, wrestled the canopy open and climbed out.

Only four of the boats could raise fire at the receding planes. The wounded Wasp circled and headed back out to sea as its companions climbed to rejoin the rest of the Wing.

The Spinneyhead Incompetence Watch has been absent for a while, so for its return, I would like to nominate British Gas.

Any utility company who can send someone round to read a meter which they haven’t supplied for nearly 2 years deserves something, especially when on being told why I left BG (main reason: their incompetence and lack of customer service) he tries to sell me them again.