I really didn’t want to do a turkey, but felt the need for something Christmassy. So I made a pie.
None of the “deep” pie tins I found in the shops merited the description, so I made the pie in a medium sized pyrex dish. As I’ve said before, I don’t bother mixing up pastry, but use the ready-made stuff. Once the dish was lined, the first part of the filling was a layer of stuffing. On top of this went some cranberry sauce, then sausage meat, more sauce, chunks of turkey, more sauce and the rest of the stuffing. Then I poured some chicken gravy on, to fill any gaps. Lidded, the pie cooked for just over an hour (it was deep and full of meat that went in raw, so I wanted to be sure) at gas mark 6.
If I were to do it again, I might put in less gravy, or mix it so it was thicker. Otherwise, this was a definite success. The only thing that could have spoilt it would have been the foolhardy inclusion of sprouts.
I could forgive all those people who drape pointless lights over their houses at this time of year if they had the imagination to choreograph the display like this.
Rage Against the Machine made it to number one for Christmas. It’s the first time I’ve cared about the pop charts for quite a few years.
I think the paedophile rat could become a collectors’ item, as they’re being removed from sale.If you’re really, desperately looking for something to be horrified by then, yes, the distorted rendition of Jingle Bells the toy sings could be misheard as “paedophile, paedophile”.
One has to wonder why the kiddy fiddler would be jingling all the way, though.
I know your significant other shouldn’t need any encouragement, but this Christmas give them a hint. A girl always likes to be kissed under the mistletoe.
The Mistletoe Thong is available from CafePress. Order it now and get unwrapped on Christmas Day.
The baby Jesus in the nativity scene on St Ann’s Square has been dollnapped. The figurine was replaced with a rose.
LAst time I was in St Ann’s Square everyone in teh nativity seemed to have got drunk and fallen over. As security has now been increased perhaps I shouldn’t leave a bot in front of it.
In another nativity scene stunt last year, the figures were put in compromising positions.
Manchester council spokesman Pat Karney said: “I’m shocked and horrified. What kind of a world are we living in when someone will steal the baby Jesus out of the Christmas crib?
“I thought I’d seen everything last year when someone re-arranged the figures into compromising positions, but this has surprised even me.”
I’ve said it before, Santa is a pimp. Except in one Australian shop, where he’s been sacked, allegedly because he says ho-ho-ho, which might be offensive to women.
Cue steaming piles of “it’s Political Correctness gone mad” commentary from the DAily Mail readership.
If you can’t decide what to buy folks for Christmas why not send them this variation on an old favourite- Amazon gift certificates.