Emily


And now for something completely different…

Given the sex-obsessed quality of recent posts, I thought it was time I raised the tone slightly. Something cultural, something and educational (it’s in a foreign language with a translation). Something poetic and artistic.

I present a poem about vaginas, in medieval Welsh.

(Supplied by my friend Marnanel, who is a strange attractor – he seems to find the most strange, entertaining and just plain odd things on the internet.)


Kawaiiiiii!

To prove that I can post on subjects that are neither dodgy or sex related, I present The Hello Kitty Stress Test.

You are a cheerful person and likely never worry about stress. Even when you encounter any problem, you will not pay attention. Though, it not the whole truth. maybe you simply put the stress aside.

You might be exposed to stress one day. When that occurs, gardening will be the best way to keep a balance stress level.

Gardening?. If you saw the results of my attempts to look after a bonsai tree or grow a chestnut, you would be as sceptical as I am. But Hello Kitty is very cute.


Cave Troll Love!

Livejournal is a lovely place full of lovely people (such as me, for example. but it also has many many many strange people. (actually I need a few more manys.)

However, this one is the weirdest community for a while – Do me Cave Troll. It’s one of a group of communities where fangirl/fanboys proclaim their desire to do (or be done by) the object of their fandom. LOTR based ones are popular, particularly Legolas. But Cave Trolls?

Ian insists I point out that ‘do me’ is a euphemism.

Update There used to be a picture of acave troll here, but I seem to have lost it.

And a quote “Anyone notice how incredibly sexay the Cave Troll looked in RotK? Especially clad in all of that armor? Mmmmm… a man troll in uniform! “


Endless regression

This post has been borrowed from my brothers journal/blog, who borrowed it from another blog called The Green Fairy. The link to the original article (from Ananova, source of quality randomness) is in the post but it’s the editorial comment that amused me.

(From here on, it’s sheer plagiarism)

Something pertaining to call itself the ‘National Scruples and Lies Survey’ has apparently discovered ‘that modern women lie, flatter and have affairs’. The revelation is that 94% of women tell lies (though I’d be far more interested in the weird 6% who claim they don’t), and among the usual 50% who fake orgasms and lie about their weight, we have more interesting statistics.

A third (32%) said they would stay with their partner if he had a one-night stand, 28% if they discovered he was a secret transvestite and 17% if he announced he was gay.

About a third (32%) would pretend to use contraception like the Pill if they wanted to get pregnant but their partners did not want a child. Women are also suspicious about their partners and admit to checking their pockets (46%), text messages, (47%) mobile phone bill (27%) and following them (10%).

Do you think it was the same 32% that think is it is acceptable to trick their partners into becoming fathers against their will that would leave if said partners betrayed them in an entirely less significant fashion with a one night stand? And call me morally bankrupt and unscrupulous but it depresses me somewhat to hear that over two thirds of women would run gibbering from a man wearing clothes not specifically and rigidly designed for his sex but the same upstanding moral integrity does not prevent them going through their partner’s personal possessions and in one in ten cases, trailing them.


Oh-oh death, oh-oh-oh death, Can�t you spare me over till another year

The “Six Feet Under” people have helpfully put a calculator on their site so you can work out when you will be need their services.

As for me,

Based on the answers you submitted, we estimate that you will be Six Feet Under in the year 2090.

And you will be 110 years old.

In other words, you have 87 years left to live.

So, enjoy them.

O Death- Camper Van Beethoven

(Title and refferal-pimping by the Evil Webmaster)


The Joy of Geeks

I started reading this article in the Guardian. It started off talking in loving detail about two teenagers’ first computers in 1981. The teenagers names were dropped in a way that made me think I should know who they were, David Braben and Ian Bell. This clearly being a computerish article, I consulted resident geek No 1 (Daz). He ummed, said he thought he recognised one of the names but wasn’t sure.

So I read on, hoping for enlightenment. It described how they’d both gone to Cambridge, met up and started working on a game together. The title of the game, Elite, was dropped in a similar, accidental-on-purpose fashion. Still none the wiser, I tried out this title on the other resident geek (Ian).

Ian stuck his head through the banister and burbled for five minutes including phrases like “the first truly genius game”, “It was really cool with trading and shooting people” and “It’s ELITE! How could you not have heard of this?” and then wandered off to see if he could find anything about it on the net.

So it seems I am the only one who hasn’t heard of this. Elite came out in 1984 when I had more important things on my mind (turning 4, adopting the girl next door as my big sister, trying to climb the back fence). It has a apparently fell into the black hole between the true antiques, Pacman and Space Invaders, and the games I started to play in the late 80s, along with anything on the Spectrum.

But I live with geeks and have therefore be not only educated in the wonder that is Elite but supplied with a link to a Java version. Which I present here, whether you have sat here thinking “What is she talking about?” or happily reminiscing about the hours you wasted at it the first time.

Cross-posted to my LJ along with lots of other pointless gubbins.

(I have also spent the last hour arguing with Daz about whether he is a geek.)


It's the end of the world as we know it…

Or at least the end of the Internet.

Taken from my friend Thrawn, who is one of those unfortunate people on a IT helpline.

“I just had to deal with a customer who was was extremely worried as she had got to the end of the internet, and wanted directions to get back to our network. After much explanation and discussion, it appears the customer had been sent a link to this and actually believed it.”