dildo

links for 2010-09-03

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  • Teledildonic Add-On Turns Wiimote into Remote Vibrator | Gadget Lab | Wired.com
    Mojowijo is a teledildonic accessory for the Nintendo Wiimote, which is somewhat ironic given the console’s family-friendly reputation. The device, currently in private beta, is very simple: You hook the hardware components to two Wiimotes. Wiggling and thrusting on the first remote are detected and sent via Bluetooth to a nearby PC (you don’t need the actual Wii itself).

    From there, your movements are sent over the internet and reproduced by a vibrator on the other Wiimote, allowing a remote partner to enjoy your stimulations. Amusingly, the product page touts these teledildonics as just one possibility: the others are sharing the game with someone in the same room, or using the device on yourself.

    (tags: sextoy)
  • Russian mafia taking over French Riviera – Telegraph
    Their grip on the region is now so tight that Riviera detectives expect an eastern connection to almost every crime.

    “Everything from burglary and money laundering to vice is controlled by the Mob from former Communist countries,” said one police officer, who was involved in the arrest of 69 members of a Georgian syndicate in March.

    Although most of the arrests of members have been in Spain, the gang’s nerve centre, many of the bosses now have luxury villas on France’s Mediterranean coast, and foot soldiers work for them, flying out for set period before returning home with their profits.

    “They’re into everything, from the Russian prostitute rings in resorts like Cannes and St Tropez to gassing tourists in their villa and stealing everything they’ve got,” said the police officer.

    (tags: crime)
  • MoD scientist died in top secret explosives test 'lacking safety equipment and adequate planning' | Mail Online
    A Ministry of Defence scientist died following a blast during top secret explosives tests which were inappropriately planned and appeared to be inadequately organised, an inquest jury ruled today.

    Jurors made a number of criticisms of the trial in which Terry Jupp, 46, of Hatfield, Hertfordshire, was involved at a testing station near Shoeburyness, Essex, in August 2002, following an inquest in Southend, Essex.

    They concluded that: planning and risk assessment had not been appropriate; a small scale test could have been carried out in advance; adequate regard was not paid to personal protective equipment; and they said communication and organisation at the trials appeared inadequate.

    (tags: research)
  • ZEEEED FRAMES SIMPLIFIED TUTORIAL – Scale Auto Community
    This chopped '32 gluebomb body on stock Revell rails is going to need the rear Z'd, and we're going to do the front at the same time. The procedure is basically the same. It's usually a good idea to plan where your Z will start, and this one in front is going to start exactly at the firewall. In a real car, this is really the best place. It's easiest to use this particular technique if you make the Z where the top and bottom of the rails are parallel.
    (tags: model)
  • Best Exploitation Flicks: Machete’s Over-the-Top Ancestors | Underwire | Wired.com
    Machete strikes a bloody blow for B-movie revivalists Friday, when Robert Rodriguez unveils his timely gore fest about an ex-Federale caught up in a nasty anti-immigrant conspiracy.

    The picture, which stars ex-convict actor Danny Trejo in the title role alongside genre queens Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, expands on a fake trailer initially featured on Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's 2007 Grindhouse double bill.

    It's the latest homage to exploitation films and B movies, the low-budget cinematic spectacles fueled by sex, violence and vulgarity that attract cult audiences and have proven surprisingly influential over the years.

    To explore the most outrageously fun movies ever made, we went straight to the experts who pick films for genre blowouts like Fantastic Fest and the Another Hole in the Head Film Festival. We also tossed in some picks from grindhouse connoisseur Tarantino and threw in a few favorites of our own.

    (tags: film)
  • Rare German wartime bomber discovered in Kent sandbank to be recovered | Mail Online
    A rare German wartime bomber which was discovered on a sandbank 70 years after it was shot down during the Battle of Britain is to be raised, it was announced today.

    The twin-engined Dornier 17 first emerged from Goodwin Sands, a ten-mile long sandbank off the coast of Deal, Kent, two years ago, a spokesman for the RAF Museum said.

    Since then, the museum has worked with Wessex Archaeology to complete a full survey of the wreck site, usually associated with shipwrecks, before the plane is recovered and eventually exhibited as part of the Battle of Britain Beacon project.

    (tags: WW2)
  • BBC News – Charles Darwin's ecological experiment on Ascension isle
    A lonely island in the middle of the South Atlantic conceals Charles Darwin's best-kept secret.

    Two hundred years ago, Ascension Island was a barren volcanic edifice.

    Today, its peaks are covered by lush tropical "cloud forest".

    What happened in the interim is the amazing story of how the architect of evolution, Kew Gardens and the Royal Navy conspired to build a fully functioning, but totally artificial ecosystem.

    By a bizarre twist, this great imperial experiment may hold the key to the future colonisation of Mars.

    (tags: darwin terraforming environment ecology)
  • BBC News – Tablets take on Apple’s iPad at IFA tech show
    Rivals to the iPad have been unveiled as the IFA tech show gets underway in Berlin. Samsung's Galaxy Tab and Toshiba's Folio 100 run on the Android 2.2 operating system.

    It allows the mini computers without keyboards to play flash video – the most popular format in the world. But their sizes also set them apart from the iPad as BBC Technology Correspondent Rory Cellan-Jones found out.

    (tags: ipad technology)

Tweets today

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22:29 Blog: Tweets today tinyurl.com/3g9ez9 #

22:48 After the success of the Hawaiian pub crawl, Alex now wants to organise a fake breast pub crawl. Nice. #

23:09 Dimbleby is psychic! I asked if he’d fly me to Washington and he immediately said no. #

00:29 Blog: No, Mister Bond, I expect you to buy tinyurl.com/4uyssa #

09:31 Blog: The Barack Obama dildo versus the George Bush butt plug tinyurl.com/3rg5uk #

11:11 £115 on waterproofs. But it’ll be worth it not to get soaked like last Wednesday. Felt crap for days. #

14:18 I like you so much better when you’re naked. #

16:12 Two pages inked. Good going. #

19:13 Zombie murder mysteries. #

19:38 Huffkin. Huffkin, huffkin, huffkin. #

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Virtual Hole and Virtual Stick

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I’m positive that remore control was one of the important features for the Perfect Sex Toy we specced a couple of years ago.

Two way teledildonics is now possible, thanks Segment Inc., who have introduced the Virtual Hole and Virtual Stick. I’m lost for words when it comes to describing the product, just read the copy on the site and watch the very odd promotional videos.

Not Safe For Work, obviously.

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Sustainable Sex Toys

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I don’t think the Sex Toy design list had a requirement for the device to be environmentally friendly. Treehugger has a post on greening your bedroom exploits and, considering the horrible chemicals some sex toys can leach– particularly in contact with lipids and the like- you know it makes sense to save up for that glass dildo.

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Sound and vision

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Kristin Hersh’s new band have released an EP free on the internet.

With “Free Music” 50FootWave is seeking new earballs. We thought it’d be interesting to ask for your energy & enthusiasm rather than your money and see what happens. To that end, please share this music in any and every way you see fit. Burn CDs, post the mp3s, seed Torrents — whatever’s comfortable for you.

It’s an experiment. Who knows how it will go? Wheee!

via WarrenEllis

The Dildo Song.

via CinemaMinima

The BBC Open News Archive.

also via CinemaMinima

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MekSex

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A little thesis, with illustrations, on the history of mechanical devices used for sexual stimulation (does that sound learned enough?) NSFW, of course.

Many a young girl discovers the pleasure of sex by way of an innocent activity that happens to apply pressure to her crotch. Bouncing on Uncle Bob’s knee, frolicking on playground equipment, climbing trees, and horseback riding are good examples, but no machine in our culture has contributed more to the pleasure of young girls than the bicycle.

Bicycles and exercise bikes are popular props in erotic stories. The ride is often enhanced by a specially constructed, sexually stimulating seat, sometimes nothing more than a dildo. In extreme settings the rider is lashed to the bike and must continue pedaling, and thus receiving sexual stimulation, or be subjected to some sort of motivation such as electric shock. I kind of like the idea of a powerful, variable intensity vibrator built into the seat, connected to a control box in such a way that the slower the rider pedals the stronger the vibration. In the beginning the rider may prefer to go slow, but after a few good orgasms the situation will be most conducive to weight loss.

via Fleshbot

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The Sex Toy Chronicles

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It’s been a year and a bit since I published the notes toward the design of the perfect sex toy. I haven’t made much progress, but some others have. I think it’s time for a round up, in chronological order, of all the Sex Toy posts since the list was published.

Helping Hands– where we got a mention on Fleshbot and a few suggestions
Perfect Sex Toy project shopping list
Beaten to it!– someone else patents vibrator control over the internet
Search Term Roulette

Sym Toys
Toy– the first design for the Perfect Sex Toy tops
Perfect Ladies
More Perfect
No Batteries Required
“It’s the ultimate in site stickiness”
Can we add some things to that list?
Delayed Perfection
Teledildonics
Do It Yourself

And then there are all the ones that are even more tangentially related, but you can find those yourselves. I’m all worn out.

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Rock Hard

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An ancient dildo has been reconstructed from stone fragments found in a German cave.

Its life size suggests it may well have been used as a sex aid by its Ice Age makers, scientists report.

“In addition to being a symbolic representation of male genitalia, it was also at times used for knapping flints,” explained Professor Nicholas Conard, from the department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, at Tübingen University.

“There are some areas where it has some very typical scars from that,” he told the BBC News website.

Researchers believe the object’s distinctive form and etched rings around one end mean there can be little doubt as to its symbolic nature.

“It’s highly polished; it’s clearly recognisable,” said Professor Conard.

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Do It Yourself

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The quest to have other people build the Perfect Sex Toy for me continues. OpenDildonics is a project started by the Brum2600 group to bring Open Source/GNU technology to Cyber Dildonics. It aims to bring Cyber D to the masses through the use of GNU software and a ‘Build your own’ ethic. Amongst other projects on the site- wiring an Anne Summers Pocket Pleaser to a printer cable. the first step, I guess, toward controlling it from your PC.

via BoingBoing

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Notes toward the design of the perfect sex toy

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I had so much fun collecting sex toy suggestions the first time that I did it again at the pub quiz on Tuesday. Collated from the two lists, what follows are the criteria I shall be working to as I take my designs forward and a few early thoughts-

Silent
This stands to reason. Of course, if it’s really effective, it’ll have to come with a gag to keep it silent.

1 battery/ rechargeable
I’m thinking phone charger. Almost everyone has a spare Nokia charger.

No bristles
Several different finishes have been suggested. I have plans to allow for all of them (see below)

‘Dual action’
I’m not sure what this meant, but I’d assume thrusting as well as vibrating.

Ambidextrous
It increases the complexity but I was considering, and it has been suggested, some sort of remote control. Properly done, this could allow for use in either hand.

Multispeed
Again, this should go without saying. Control should allow for multiple speeds and strengths of vibration. (A friend of mine once had access to industrial vibration testing equipment and used it to find the optimum frequency range- 40 to 50 herz- for herself. I always thought it was 60Hz, but everyone’s different, which is why we need a wide band of speeds.)

Multisleeved/ Attachments
In much the same way as you could get new skins for mobiles Mr. Pattinson’s Patented Pussy Pleaser (working name) could have its shell changed. This would not just be for looks but could also vary the stimulation on offer. Suggested skins include-
Character. Dirk Benedict was suggested. Given that faces would be caricatured and the nose greatly exaggerated so it could act as a G Spot stimulator, it would be tricky to negotiate the rights. I might have to create my own set of creatures.
Nobbled.
Ribbed.
Spiral. Very effective, so I’m told.
Veined. For the few who like that sort of thing. (One of the other criteria was ‘Not looking like a penis.’)
Beads. Bit of a technical challenge.
Go faster stripes. You can tell this suggestion was made by a bloke, can’t you?
Spikes.
Silicone finish.

Easy clean/ Dishwasher proof/ Freezer proof/ Water proof/ Bath proof
Freezer proof?

Discreet

Programmable/ voice commands/ remote control/ Bluetooth enabled/ USB connection/ networkable/ Java enable/ upgradeable
You can tell some of these suggestions were made by geeks, can’t you? With programming and some sort of networking a community could be created to swap configuration files. ‘Download Hot ‘n Hard lover boy settings here!’ ‘DildoWorks 2.1 has just been released.’

Sound effects
And silent? I guess sounds could be optional, for those times when you know you really are alone and won’t be disturbed.

‘Easy Find’
In the manner of those key rings that beep if you whistle for them.

Auto hide/ Dismantles into innocent looking components
Apparently there have been a few embarassing moments at airports.

Vibrates to music

Illuminated
It could light up as part of the Auto Find function. Or be the only source of light in the room- turn it on and off without even touching the switch.

Self lubricating
It was also suggested it should taste and smell nice, which could be achieved through use of the right lubricant.

Adjustable size
Girth and length. This could be done with the sleeves, but the vibration would be damped if they got too thick.

Snooze/ alarm
If you really want to be woken up that way…..

Quick start

‘Boyfriend detector’
Because we don’t want to damage their fragile little egos do we? You’ll notice that all the design suggestions are slanted toward the ideal sex toy for a woman. I guess we blokes have always got the tried and tested Mrs. Palm.

Unbreakable
Everyone who was canvassed would undoubtedly go out of their way to test this.

Licking facility
Well, I guess there could be a tongue shaped sleeve.

The list is still open to additions. Leave them in the comments.

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