london

'Goodnight Jim Bob – On The Road With Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine'

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Lifted straight from the e-mail, because I’m lazy-

Jim Bob’s Carter on the road autobiography is published by CHERRY RED BOOKS on May 10

Pr-order your signed copy from from MAY 1st at http://www.carterusm.co.uk/shop.html

Read a sample chapter here: http://www.cherryred.co.uk/books/jimbobtxt.htm

One of the following does not feature in JIM BOB’s autobiography of his ten years of touring with the greatest agit-disco-punk-pop-rock-guitar-synth-and-drum-machine-band the world has ever known:

1. Fruitbat rugby tackling a children’s’ TV presenter live on telly.

2. Jim Bob being accused of murder by the police at JFK Airport

3. A Czechoslovakian fairy tale about a pair of magic underpants.

4. Stealing Swiss chocolate bars from Pavarotti’s mini bar.

5. A brief and accurate history of The Corby Trouser Press.

6. Jim Bob’s night of dirty love with footballer David Beckham.

“Jim captures the very essence of life on and off the road for the 90s’ least likely pop stars. Like you, I was there and this book takes me right back. A good dash of Hammer Of The Gods, a healthy glug of Ian Hunter’s Diary Of A Rock’n’Roll Star and absolutely no trace of Sting’s Broken Music, this book will mean a lot to anyone who fought the indie rock wars.” Andrew Collins

Jim Bob Book Reading And Song Singing Tour Dates May 2004

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8 Berlin Magnet .12 Bristol The Prom 13 Cambridge Man On The Moon 14 Southampton Joiners Arms 15 Reading 21 South Street .16 Hastings The Brass Monkey 19 Exeter Cavern 20 Leeds Joseph’s Well 21 Glasgow 13th Note Caf� . 22 Aberdeen Dr Drakes 25 Liverpool Carling Academy 26 Birmingham Bar Academy 27 London Islington Academy

http://www.jim-bob.co.uk/

Comix etc.

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Deputised Experts has been put on hold until webcomicsnation is up and running. It was supposed to be here already, but you know how software projects are. On the plus side, some of the proposed functions are incredibly cool.

Still no luck with spinneyhead.co.uk coming back online. Time for another e-mail to someone who has a better idea of what’s going on in the hope they can help me.

Finally, via Green Fairy, a meme that’s been doing the rounds. List the first twenty songs in your mp3 playlist after randomising. (Looks at current playlist, winces, and hits sort.)

1- Burning Hell, REM

2- Waterloo Sunset, The Kinks

3- 2:1, Elastica

4- Strange Currencies, REM

5- X-Press 2, London X-Press

6- Surrendering, Alanis Morrisette

7- Local Boy in the Photograph, Stereophonics

8- Manic Monday, The Bangles

9- (cling to your) innocence, Kinesis

10- Both Sides Now, Leonard Nimoy

11- Personal Jesus, Johnny Cash

12- Walking on the Moon (drum and bass remix), The Police

13- Tomorrow Comes Today, Gorillaz

14- Interstate Love Song, Stone Temple Pilots

15- Hair of the Dog, Sweet Lady Vegas

16- House of Fun, Madness

17- Spanish Dance Troupe, Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci

18- Girls on Film, Duran Duran

19- Road Trippin’, Red Hot Chilli Peppers

20- Garage Full Of Flowers, Inspiral Carpets

Hmmm. Eclectic.

Left Hand, Right Hand

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I spent about an hour and a half on the phone to BT this morning. I talked to the Sales department, who passed me on to the Billing department, who told me to contact the Cancellations department, who passed me over to the technical help desk, who (I think, it was all getting a bit hazy by this point) sent me back to the Billing department. They all tried to be helpful (except for the cancellations guy, who tried to get rid of me as soon as possible), but none of them could understand my situation enough to do anything but forward me. And this is just to sort out cancelling my existing account (why can’t I just settle up and get reconnected now the problem with NatWest has been cleared up?), which has to be done before I can reorder broadband.

Ay Carumba!

Just been to a mini anti war rally (there’s a bigger one tonight and then the main one in London tomorrow). There are pictures, which I’ll post as soon as I’m able. I’m a little uncomfortable participating in a Socialist Worker side project, but it’s a big stand-up-and-be-counted issue, so I’ll show my support wherever I can.

All Hail to the Thief

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Wubble U is coming to Britain next week, and Tony wants us all to pretend that we actually like the moron (I was tempted to use Brian’s favourite new word, fucktard, there, but that would have been cheapening it.) I can’t make it to demonstrate in London, but I’ll be going along to the Manchester demo the day before.

Oh, I Say!

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Yesterday I contemplated being a Freeter, inspired by Brian’s post on the subject. Today I’m thinking of becoming a bit of a Chap. The first official ‘Chap in’ (my name for it) was held in London yesterday.

The Chaps said they frowned upon feverish wage-slavery and naked ambition, although Mr Darkwood accepted there had to be ‘some kind of lumpen officitariat driven by ambition to support us’.

Chappish Sounds- Gomez, Bring It On; Doves, Lost Souls; Kingmaker, In The Best Possible Taste

And I won't open letter bombs for you

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A nice, relaxing job opportunity with MI5.

Weapons Specialist

The Security Service (MI5) needs specialists in explosives, IEDs, small arms and light weapons. Working closely with non-technical colleagues, you will produce assessments of terrorist weaponry for a wide and sometimes senior readership.

Explosive and Improvised Explosive Device (IED) Specialist

With extensive knowledge of explosives and IEDs, you will have a sound awareness of various types of commercial, military and improvised explosives, their properties and origins. You will have some knowledge of terrorist use of explosives and IEDs.

Small Arms and Light Weapons Specialist

You will have in-depth knowledge of both conventional and improvised small arms and light weapons, including man-portable air defence systems and thermobarics. An awareness of their make-up, capability and origin is essential. Knowledge of the grey arms market is desirable.

For both positions, knowledge of electronics/communications would be an advantage. You will have the ability to analyse and assess intelligence from a range of sources and draw sound conclusions sometimes based on incomplete information. You will be able to draft concise reports and possess sound communication skills at all levels. You will also be required to travel globally and at short notice and work with foreign liaisons for intelligence purposes.

For an application form please send a full CV to Bob Gunning at bob.gunning@tribalgwt.com, or by post to Tribal GWT Consulting Ltd., 87-91 Newman Street, London W1T 3EY. Fax: 020 7323 7191. Please quote reference T7W/01/03.

Closing date for receipt of completed application forms is 31 October 2003

Tell them Spinneyhead sent you. Or perhaps not, it probably wouldn’t help you in the vetting process.

I’m still contemplating restarting the DEx strip. Bits of this job description cover areas one of the characters was going to be expert in, though he’s actually ex MI6.

The Clash, Career Opportunities

Fag End

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I’ve never smoked (well, nothing that didn’t have ‘additives’ anyway) and I don’t want to. I think it’s a disgusting habit and paying for the privilege of shortening your life is pretty stupid.

But I don’t want to see laws brought in to ban smoking from all public places. No smoking areas are good, but a total ban is too extreme. This sort of health fascism may go down okay in New York, but not Paris and London. It’s un- European I tell you.

LXG

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I watched League of Extraordinary Gentlemen last night (yes, I know it’s not out over here yet) and I have to say, it’s a lot better than I’d expected.

It’s not the comic, obviously, and isn’t as inventive or as true to the original characters. The film takes the cliched Victorian England of constant rain and fog and plonks these superhuman characters into it to pursue an OTT action adventure whereas the comic created a London that was the product of the big science and wild imagination of 19th century fiction as the background to a tale of espionage and character. Still, as a film it’s far more original a concept than any other mainstream production for years, and I’m all for comics creators making their fortunes propping up the feeble imaginations of Hollywood (who knows, one day it might be me.) And for all the shock and awe action sequences, it stays true to one of the main twists of the original (not telling what, that would be a spoiler).

Negatives-

Production values are a lot higher than I’d been led to believe, with only one ropey looking model shot (perhaps I’ll spot more on the big screen) but, with the exception of the obligatory baddies lair, all of this effort has gone into historical accuracy rather than a Verne/ Wells style techno-scientific wonderland.

‘Agent’ Tom Sawyer. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer was first published in 1876, based upon Mark Twain’s childhood in the 1840s, taking this as a guide, Sawyer would have been 60-something in 1899. Oldser than Quartermain as someone pointed out.

The ‘automobile’. This has to be my biggest problem with the film. Nemo has created a car. It looks like Lady Penelope’s Rolls after being attacked by a 1930’s coachbuilder on a Giger inspired LSD trip. On its own it’s quite attractive, but it would look more at home in a 1930’s Shadow style story than here.

All in all, not that bad. Not the best of the Summer (though it’ll be Autumn before it gets to us properly) blockbusters, but certainly not the total waste of a ticket some were claiming.

Other Movies

Whilst I’m here, I should review a few other flicks.

Pirates of the Caribbean Now this is the best of the blockbusters. The most succinct rating of it has to be the official Penny opinion of “two-thirds of the way to Princess Bride“. Trust me, that’s high praise.

Confidence Passable con movie that tries a little too hard for the quirky characterisation.

Terminator 3 Quite a strong third part to the franchise, it riffs on stuff from the first two for humour and effect. There isn’t anything astoundingly new to the tale, which is basically one long special effects car chase, but it’s very well done. T1 & 2

Bring It On Eliza Dushku and Kirsten Dunst as cheerleaders. Hell, I’d have watched this even if it wasn’t well written and funny.

The Italian Job The original, which was on the TV over Bank Holiday weekend as a primer for the remake. The DVD’s cool, with making of bits and a Blue Danube sequence (where the Minis waltz with Police cars) that’s lovely to look at but was wisely cut from the film.

Interview game

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THE RULES

1 — Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.

2 — I will respond; I’ll ask you five questions.

3 — You’ll update your website with my five questions, and your five answers.

4 — You’ll include this explanation.

5 — You’ll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

My questions came from Tuesday.

1.(A bit of narcissism) How did you find my blog and what makes you continue to read it?

I think I found it whilst trawling through the weblogs.com or bl.ogs, liked it and stuck it in my blogroll. I keep going back so I can steal links ;-P

2.What is the worst piece of clothing your parents made you where when you were young? How did you try to get out of wearing it?

I didn’t care what I was made to wear really. The worst thing I had to wear was probably my school uniform- a maroon blazer, striped (grey and maroon) tie, white shirt and black trousers. Most of it wasn’t so bad, but maroon??????

3.Have you been to the “Detroit” bar in London?

Nope.

4, What one skill do you feel you need the most to be successful in the field you want to pursue?

It would probably help if I could draw better. My grasp of anatomy is a little off. Being able to lay things out on a page in a way suited to storytelling would also help, but I’m hoping the Graphic Design course will guide me on that. It would be good if I could regain my ability to concentrate, which has been worn down by the last few years of work.

5. If someone offered you an all-expenses paid month-long trip to some exotic locale, would you take them up on their offer, knowing that if you did, you would lose your job and apartment and wouldn’t be able to pay your creditors during the time you were gone? Where would you go? What would you do when you got back?

Hell, yeah! I’m still tempted by the Left coast of America- all the way up from San Diego to Seattle (avoiding Los Angeles by detouring to Vegas. But given my recent ‘Anti Americanism’ (ie thinking for myself) that mightn’t be such a good idea. So a ‘Bikes, Boards and Battlefields’ tour of Europe would be a better choice. When I got back I’d just have to turn to everyone and say ‘So sue me.’

Sheer Heart Attack

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At The Gas, we used to get ‘coronary in a bap’ breakfast barms from the greasy spoon up the hill. Here in Macc, there’s a branch of Harvey’s Sandwiches which serves a coronary in a baguette with sausage, bacon, cheese, egg, mushrooms and black pudding. It is significantly cheaper, and nicer, than a �635 salad.

Note to my mother- I don’t eat these every day, once a week is more than enough.

Arkwright

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The Adventures of Luther Arkwright is set to be turned into a film. The only picture I have on my wall at the moment is a print of ‘The Battle of London’ signed by Bryan Talbot, depicting a climactic moment in the story. This is a very important comic, at least as much so as Watchmen or Dark Knight Returns, though it never got the attention it deserved.

With enough care and attention, the movie could work as a dark SF thriller/ action movie with a couple of scenes calling for Matrix style fight sequences and bullet time. Without it it could turn into Bulletproof Monk, fun but inconsequential, or- even worse- a Jean Claude Van Damme vehicle.

George Galloway – Under fire and due to appear on Crossfire!

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I quote:

“LONDON, April 24 � For anyone worried that the House of Commons has become too well-behaved to produce defiant oratory and eccentric behavior, George Galloway is a throwback to a provocative and histrionic past.”

Straight from the New York Times. The Article* is comical, but hey, he is a bastard war supporter anyway.

*Registration required

**Personal to the NY Times – Where is my liberation cheque? Four years of mentioning the American left and all I get is a renewal for the Sunday New York Times?