Bastard son of 2000 lawyers

Around a thousand of the foreign lawyers and law experts who have volunteered to aid Saddam Hussein’s defence are set to drive from Jordan in a bus convoy. If the Americans should “accidentally” bomb a convoy of lawyers, there mightn’t be as big an outcry as over their other fuck ups.

Can’t leave any of them alive, though, just imagine the damages claims.

High Value Detainee One

I just love this picture of pointy man Saddam.

Some of the details of The Trial, (or at least, yesterday’s prelude to The Trial) just scream “Re-elect Bush!” For instance, why was the only Iraqi journalist present thrown out before the hearing began? Even Saddam knows it’s a farce-

“Everyone knows this is theatre by Bush the criminal in an attempt to win the election.”

Edit Oddly enough, the Telegraph report doesn’t mention the restrictions on the press.

Quick, think of another reason!

It’s been obvious for a while that there were no WMDs in Iraq. (Saddam wanted them, though, and he had used them before [with American help]- which some people are pretending is the same thing. I want a Land Rover, I’ve got a driving licence and I have driven [other peoples’] Land Rovers before. But if you send a crack team of AA inspectors to casa Spinneyhead the best they’ll get is the model in my cupboard.)

Now comes the news that Iraq didn’t support Al Quaeda, despite overtures from OBL in the early nineties. This is from the 9/11 commission’s report. Strangely enough, the Fox News report doesn’t mention this.

April Fool!

Well, there’s a surprise. The Telegraph had a story earlier this week where they claimed to have documents conclusively linking Al-Quaeda to Saddam. What they actually prove is that the Telegraph are ridiculously gullible, as the claims made in this article just scream ‘fake!’. The document turned up at too convenient a time, the claims they make are far too explicit and the ten year old who drew them up tries too hard to please by also ‘proving’ the Niger yellowcake claims from Dubya’s State of the Union speech.

There’s a booming trade in these wacky documents in Iraq at the moment, with forgers making hundreds of dollars at a time selling them to Western papers and intelligence agencies. In this case, the FBI has convincingly refuted any claims that Mohammed Atta could have been in Baghdad to meet Abu Nidal.

They Started It!

The US intelligence agencies are catching on- several months behind the rest of us- to the fact that Iraqi defectors told them what they wanted to hear about WMDs. One theory is that Saddam Hussein had agents deliberately spread misinformation abot the scale of operations, though the reasoning behind that one is as dubious as all their other arguments.

When idiots leak

There’s much more detail here and here, but the gist of it is-

Joseph Wilson was a former US ambassador to Gabon who was asked by the CIA to go to Niger and investigate claims that Saddam was trying to source Yellowcake Uranium ore from the country. He concluded that the evil moustache wasn’t shopping there, filed his report and thought no more of it. Until Wubble U claimed the exact opposite in the State of the Union speech that was part of the pitch for invading Iraq. Wilson trashed the claims, starting a well deserved political outcry.

Someone in the White House decided that revenge, and possibly a warning to future critics, was needed. So they leaked to a right wing columnist that Wilson’s wife was an undercover CIA operative who had suggested the former ambassador be sent on the Niger mission. The columnist duly used this information in a piece trying to write off Wilson’s claims. This may not seem like much at first look, but think about it. His wife’s role had nothing to do with the validity of Wilson’s argument, and naming her has merely damaged her career and put her contacts at risk. And if anything, the revelation hasn’t had the desired effect. Rather, it has made plain (again) just how malicious and stupid the Bush administration is. Sooner or later something is going to sink the idiot government, preferably sooner.

Time for your pill, mister President

Wubble U’s grasp on reality seemed dubious before, but now he’s let it go to fly away like a pretty little butterfly. Asked about the dodgy Niger data, he defended the “darned good intelligence” he received and went on to claim the invasion of Iraq was made after he gave Saddam Hussein “a chance to allow the inspectors in, and he wouldn’t let them in.” (Washington Post article, may ask for some basic personal information.)
Er, what? Or more precisely What the Fuck? These would be the inspectors who were, annoyingly to Bush & co., consistently proving the blather about WMDs was false and therefore delaying Halliburton’s access to the oil and rebuilding contracts. The ones that everyone with access to a TV or newspaper, apart from Dubya it seems, knew were in Iraq. Perhaps he’s just an idiot, or perhaps he’s the sociopath some people think he is and genuinely believes this statement. Either way he’s a dangerous man to be in charge of the world’s largest power.
And just in case anyone believes this is something made up by the “liberal media”, the statement is even in the Whitehouse’s transcript of the event, right there in the final paragraph. There’s video as well, but I can’t open that to vouch for it at the moment.
All via Joe Conason’s journal at Salon

It is Friday!

Nothing much happening today in the world. Although the New York Times reports an interesting survey regarding the American people and going to war. Despite Bush’s best efforts, a large majority of my fellow countrymen want to give the inspectors more time before making a resolution. Also in today�s NY Times, the lead article states that the US and Britain are going to ask the Security Council to state Saddam has not disarmed, e.g. America can lead the charge into Iraq without further approval. Interesting. Now the Washington Post has an interesting article about how schools in the DC area are stepping up the “duct tape”, or “gaffer” tape for you ignorant Limies, installations on school sites. Growing up the in the states my primary school dated back to the cold war days and we had a bomb shelter built into the basement, my question today is what was the f*ing point? In the days of a cold war we were talking several hundred nuclear bombs falling out of the sky onto you, meaning it makes sense for everyone to prepare for an attack, e.g. the odds aren’t in your favour. With the current terrorists, or lack of, the odds clearly do not dictate this current heightened state of preparedness for a nuclear or biological agent attack. Funny how things don’t change.

Business 2.0 has a great read on how McDonalds panders to anti-American feelings across the globe if it sells more burgers. Good for McDonalds. As the saying goes, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. In other business news, Smith and Wesson has come out with .50 calibre handgun! Way! Let’s see, when I go rob the convenience store now, the .50 calibre hand gun will not only make the clerk pee his pants but give me all the money without pressing the alarm button. Thanks Smith and Wesson! Meanwhile, GM, Ford and BMW are lining up, no really, to buy a flying car listed on ebay. Please let me know if you think the guy in the flying car is a complete dork.

During this period of illness, I have been amazed to be a civilian again. Going to the library everyday, reading books, talking to locals, enjoying the time off even if I can only stand up for about 20 minutes a go. In support of all things civilised, I bring you the link we all can relate to especially in these days of uncertainty. I command you to click here and watch! My goodness, there is a tear in my eye after witnessing that link. Sniff.

I haven’t visited the Onion in a while, but it is still a fantastically funny website. Some of you may not know this, but the Onion was originally a paper magazine started in the university town of Madison, Wisconsin. It then spread to Denver, Colorado, and a few other cities. I remember every week when it came out all of us would practically be pissing our pants with some of the stories. The Onion also contained the AV section that not only told what was happening in the city for the week, but reviewed music, books and TV as well. The best feature of the Onion AV section has to be Savage Love, a gay man dispensing sexual advice to all in his own peculiar way. This weeks commentary isn’t that good, but go through the history and there are loads of chuckles, not to mention some great advice on occasion. He has become the antithesis of Oprah and very successful. If easily offended, don’t follow his link.

So long and thanks for all the lutefisk.

No Good Reason, The Case Against Bush's War with Iraq,

Cartoonist Ted Rall rails against Dubya’s Iraqi masterplan, making a few important points about Afghanistan since invasion- basically it’s back to the 1995 anarchy that gave rise to the Taliban in the first place. And Saddam’s threat to the safety of America? There is none.

Even if Saddam Hussein had nukes, he wouldn’t be able to use them–at least not against the United States. That’s because Iraq doesn’t possess any means of accurately delivering weapons to distant targets. Iraq’s Scud-C missiles are only considered reliable to a maximum range of 300 miles; its Al Hussein rocket might make it 400 miles. The only way Iraq can nuke New York is by Federal Express.

via Not Counting Niggers